By: Bears Butt
What’s in a name? We have all heard that question a million times and there are some names that really take on their meaning. I mean, when you hear a name you suddenly know exactly what is being talked about. If the name is the name of a place, you might have even been to that place and you suddenly have a vision of what it looks like. Or the name might be a person like, Bears Butt or Abraham Lincoln.
Animals all have names. Species, sub species, genre etc. etc. etc. that Bug Scientists know all about. Even down to the little itty bitty bugs that cause us so much grief when they get inside our bodies and make us sick…they all fall into some sort of genre and species…Doctors know about those guys.
But for me, common man, living a common life, with a common wife and common everything else around me…I still need to know the name of some things. And so, in the world of Bug-A-Salt, I have decided we need to have some names of bugs commonly pursued with that weapon so that everyone will know what is being talked about when one slays a critter.
In the story of Sherry’s first trophy, I said she had taken a “doe fly”. Not because she is a female and shot a fly, mind you, because she is perfectly capable of shooting male anythings. My definition of a “doe fly” is a fly that is not too dark in color and is on the small side as compared to other flys that might just be in the same area.
Now I’m not about to get really close to a fly to examine whether it has…well you know…boy parts or girl parts. And I don’t have time to take a science course on how to sex a fly. So in my own common way, I shall define a “doe fly” as a smallish fly, usually not so dark in color and rather timid. Timid of course is in the eye of the looker. The fly looker. And so, because we don’t need to know the exact sex of the fly, if the “fly looker” = “hunter”, decides he/she is about to shoot a “doe fly” then so be it a “doe fly” that the hunter has shot or shot at.
So, what about the other sex of flies? The male species. I shall call it a “buck fly”…pretty simple huh? Buck and Doe flies are generally small, obnoxious, get right into your face when you least expect it, land on you and cause immediate itching and above all else are the most repulsive of all bugs you can find. They spit up, throw up, suck up, track on, poop on and just plain annoy any person or thing that can’t seem to get rid of them……And so Bug-A-Salt was invented. Thanks to the inventor! I commend you!
Flies do more than I have mentioned and I’ll get to that in a minute, but if I forget in a minute, it will be another story in and of itself.
And so, my definition of a “buck fly” is a small fly, dark in color, the kind generally found in your house. In the Fall time of the year, they tend to be just outside, hanging on the screen door waiting for you to open the door so they can come in and bug you. Bug-A-Salt!
For us outdoors people, we also know there are flies out there of enormous proportion! Three to four times as big as the flies I have mentioned here! I call them “blow flies” and I think you know the kind I am talking about. These big old flies “blow” past you and you can feel their wings beating as they go past. Dad told me that the word “blow fly” came from the fact that they could find a way in through the cloth covering on his dead hanging buck deer and lay eggs. The eggs were called “blow”….I don’t get that, but since it was Dad who told me that, I will agree.
And so, by my definition, a smallish “blow fly” will be called a “cow fly”…sort of like an elk. A “doe fly” is a female deer, a “cow fly” a female elk. Conversely, the male species is the “buck fly” and the “bull fly”.
Flies have been defined and in my book they are finalized and don’t try to change my mind. I have pondered this long enough and lost at least one hour of sleep last night muddling this over in my mind. Nuff said!
But, here is my big dilemma. When you think about the bugs a Bug-A-Salt can take down, maybe even with three or more shots, what are those bugs going to be called, so that we all can know what to call them?
Sink bugs, Box Elder Bugs, Spiders, Slugs (oh I can hardly wait to pound one of them salt hating bad boys), mosquito’s, wasps, hornets and the list goes on and on. Help me out here folks.
Bears Butt
Jan. 9, 2013 National Play God day!