Good morning all my faithful readers.  If you are new to this site you won’t know what I’m talking about, but if you dig down through the daily trapping events section and catch up, you will know.

I had leaking boots and I bought a very expensive pair and they were shipped to me.  I also bought a pair locally, so I could continue to trap while waiting for the ever so great expensive pair to arrive.

When the expensive pair came, I was one happy guy.  Boots to last several seasons of carefree use in the swamp.  Boots that cost $130 plus another $20 for shipping.  $150!  I have never before purchased hip boots for over $80 in my entire life and then at $80 THAT was a ton of money to lay out.

So, here are my new $150 boots.  Very nice boots.  They fit well.  They are warm in the cold icy waters of the swamp.  They are puncture proof, snake bite proof, made for extreme thorny conditions etc. etc…..it’s all right there on the box they came in.

One day I donned my new pricey boots and headed into deep water.  Water well above the knees, but far lower than the top of the boots.  Suddenly I feel the cold rush of ice water running down the back of my leg, it started just behind my knee.  Oh Crap!  I went in over the top, I thought.  And quickly I returned to shallower water and gave up the idea of setting a trap in a run I could see out there.

Two days later, the boots are good and dry from sitting in the house on top of the heat register and back out into the swamp I trudge.  All is well as I approach the same run I tried to set a couple of days earlier.  This time I will be very careful about going out to set that run.  I inch my way out, one more small step and I’ll be within reach of setting a trap in the run….The icy water once again rushes in and down the back of my leg!  WAHHHHH!

I now realize my new and very pricey boots have a hole in them somewhere behind the knee.  I finish my trapping for the day and head for home.  Not a very happy guy about this.

I brought the boots into the house and examined the right boot, checking closely for holes.  I see no holes, but clearly the dark wet stain of water.  Now will be a good time to see about the warrantee.  I had saved the website address in my favorites and I clicked it to get the phone number.

Calling them, I talk to a man with a very Southern english brog, after all he is in North Carolina.  Ya’ll hea na? (spoken as if one word)

He listens to my story and says the store owner will honor my purchase with a new pair and he has all my info up on his computer.  All he needs is the return of the boots.  When asked, “No sir, you will have to pay for that”.  OOOOOOOO!  Now my expensive boots have just gone up a few more dollars.

A couple of days go by and I finally have some time to take the boots to a local shipping store called “The UPS Store”.  I have the boots wrapped up in the same box they came to me in.  It’s wrapped real good and the lady weighs the package and charges me $21.00!  Ouch!  Now the boots have cost me $170!!!

Well, I have the receipt and the tracking number.  She tells me that anytime after 5 p.m. that day I can track my package and see when it arrives in North Carolina.  Home I go.

After trapping a few days later I find myself sitting at the computer and think about the package.  Wondering where it is in the system I pull up the UPS system and put in the tracking number.  It says a label had been made and the destination is City “whatever” in North Carolina.  That’s all it says.  HMMMM.

So, I put the receipt back in my wallet and go about business.  Two days later I pull up the UPS system again…..it says the same thing it did before.  I look at the time and the local store is closed for the day.  It’s after 7 p.m.  Tomorrow I will call them.

When tomorrow came and my trapping was done for the day, I made the trip to town and went into the store.  The same lady that rang up my shipment looked in the system only to find the same results.  No package recorded in the UPS system.  So she calls her corporate folks and they are tracking the package.

I have called them back once since then and they still had not located the package.  I remember the lady asking me when I shipped the package if I needed more than $100 insurance on the package.  UPS included $100 of free insurance with all packages shipped through them.  I told her no at that time.  If only I could go back to that moment and insure it for about $300.

So, where are my expensive boots?  Why did the UPS driver who picked up the box not scan it into the UPS system?  Why is this “expensive boot” experience happening to me?  If the box is not found UPS will give me $100 for my inconvenience.  And if that happens my expensive boots will have cost me $70, but then I won’t have my expensive boots.  Is there a moral to this story?

I suppose there is.  Perhaps there is more than one moral to this story.

A) Don’t trust the word of houndsmen who espouse the quality of a muck boot.

B) Don’t trust the UPS Store or UPS in general.

C) Don’t buy expensive hip boots, continue to purchase local cheap boots each year.

D) Look in the mirror and repeat after me “Ima dumbshit”!

My fingers are still crossed that the UPS system will find my expensive boots and the company I bought them from will get me a new pair back soon.

Bears Butt

April 2012