Back about 34 sum years ago we wuz at rondeevoo kickin our heels up an havin a rondeevoo of a good time.  He was but a young lad at the time and we called him Jerry, cuz that was his Christian name.  Well as it ended up this here reondeevoo wuz gonna be named “The Big Muddy”, but at the time we didn’t knowed it wuz gonna be called that.  So, here we is, an it wuz a might bit wet, an muddy, an snowy, an cloudy, an colt, an wet, an muddy sum more, but we wuz havin ourselves quite a time for sure.

Sum of the folks what was making us all keep in a line, sort a, called out ta the camp what they wuz gonna let out a whole keg of likker an if you dun wanted sum ya best git down ta the wagon right smart like.

I took ta runnin ta git there, but time I did, it wuz all took up by others.  Well, what to my eyes do I see, but  young  Jerry  sittin there with a whole quart of likker in front an his eyes was wide as kin be.  Ya see, I ain’t for sure he dun ever had likker afor, but he sure dun had sum in front of him right now.

Well, the folks what wuz keepin us in line, sort a, said that this here free likker wuz free cuz they wuz gonna see just who could drink down their quart the fastest, an they wuz gonna be drinkin it up all at the same time, an who so did finish first and slammed their quart mug down on the table first wuz gonna win sum more likker.  Whilest the rest would just have ta be happy they dun got any likker atol.  So I wuz amongst a whole heap o folks watchin and yellin fer Jerry ta drink it fast.  All sorts of yellin wuz goin on an advise wuz pourin out on just how it has ta be dun in order ta finish the fastest.  Jerry never wuz one fer listenin too good an when the contest wuz over, he wuz happy just sippin on his likker and smiling.  Sum other mountain man dun won hands down an wuz gatherin up his likker an hikin out with it.  There sits old, young, Jerry still a sippin an grinning.

Well, let’s just say that as fer as I knowed, that wuz Jerry’s first taste of likker, cuz I don’t right know any different, so I am gonna say it were and that’s how this story goes.

As Jerry wuz growin up sum, he took ta likin likker real good an whenever we wuz at rondeevoo his mules wuz loaded with more likker than beaver plews.  Youd a thought he wuz in cahoots with Ashley an the boys, but I knowed he dun rode in ta rondeevoo frum a nother direction.  I just recon agin, why  he didn’t have not much beaver plews wuz on accounta he dun spent more time in Taos than in the mountains where the beavers wuz.  An he had plenty o time ta load his mule with likker afor he cum ta rondeevoo.  Here agin it is my take on all this cuz it’s my story an that’s just how I see it.

Well here we wuz havin us a good ol time at nuther rondeevoo and someone dun called old Jerry ta the fire an asked him about his mules with all that likker an he dun said he liked his likker an that when he dun cum ta rondeevoo, he had ta make sure he an all his friends wuz well supplied.  So, he spent a heap o plew bucks on likker fer the good times.

Well the talkin stick wuz out an this old boy dun picked it up an said ta old Jerry,  “You are a mountain man of mountain men an I’m here ta tell everbody here in this camp that wherever mountain men shall meet you shall be knowed as  ‘Many Grimace’”!!

An ya know what?  They dun made him the booshway fer the next years gatherin an that’s just the way it wuz.

Bears Butt

June 2, 2011

It was at rendeevooo back in twenty ought eleben and times was sure a shinin.  Pinned down some in the lodges cuz of the wind, rain and snow, but our spirits was still high an we dun been havin ourselves a real good time.  We dun got into some shootin with the others but it seemed most all our rifles was a bit out of sort.  Perhaps they was spectin warmer times and with the cold of the days, they had shrunk up an made the sights go off center sum.  At any rate, only Edjukateer dun what all us others wish we cud a dun.  He dun won hisself a mighty fine patch knife, with a sheath an a  beeded necklace.  It looks pert near to be the finest of quality of any other in the Rockies.  Any mountain man would be proud to have that there patch knife.

So, my specting what the guns had dun shrivled up sum just might not be the true  deal and maybe it be just the rest of us just wasn’t line’n up right on our own sights.  Whatever, like I said, we just throwed powder down an patched ball and spent sum caps making noise an such and didn’t git no braggin rights ta speek uf.  Oh, ya, sepen Fat Duck an Dry Dog, they dun won some licker frum Many Steps an me, agin most cuz I wuz not quite on top of my shootin and Many Steps stayed up pert near till time ta shoot an wuzznt havin both his eyes focused real clear.

Next morn we woke ta see a whole ton o’snow dun felled durin the night an a whole bunch of the camp was perty much down on the ground.  Sum poles was broke and a lot of canvas an skins had tore up sum and folks wuz tryin ta fix things up an all.  Sum dun said they was movin on ta nuther rondeevoo in warmer climes an others wuz sayin they wuz headed fer the flatlands.  Well, we Willow Creekers wuzn’t bout ta leave this here rondeevoo.  We went ta doin what had ta be dunned and we put back up the dinin flys what was down an started up the fires under the newly rected flys ta dry them out sum.  Ya, our moccasins wuz soaked up pretty bad with mud an we wuz soaked ta the knee in our leathers, but inside we wuz still warm an dry an we wuz still at rondeevoo an we wasn’t bein hurt nor dead an our horses wuz still in camp an all the folks what mean stuff to us was well, so we dun continued to have ourselves a good old rondeevoo!

When it wuz about half way thru this day an the dinin flys wuz bout dry, Hunter sayz  “Hay, let’s go do sum shootin”!  So, Crazy Skinner, Hunter, Edjukateer, Trap Dancer, John Deere an me, grabbed up our guns and headed fer the range.

Mountain men don’t much care what they is goin ta shoot at, it be mostly for the right ta say they be the best shootin one once it’s all dun .  We been knowed ta shoot at big things such as knots on trees or large rocks on the mountain side.  We also been knowed ta shoot at little things like buttons or twigs stickin outa tree branches.  Well taday we wuz gonna shoot at mostly little things.  Ta begin with, Trap Dancer had sum playin cards what he dun brought ta rondeevoo so we broked out six of them, one fur each, an fastened them to our backdrop range and stepped back 40 sum yards.

Ya gotta know that a playin card aint too very big when looked at frum 40 yards.  Special with these old 60 sum year old eyes of mine.  But we loaded up an took a shot at the card what wuz ours ta shoot at.  Then we goed down an looked ta see if we dun hit or not.  Well seems that Hunter an me wuz the only two what hit.  So Edjukateer said we needed ta shoot two more times an see who is the best.  So we goed back and reloaded and each took a shot agin.  Then we reloaded and dun shot a third time.  When we goed down ta look at the cards, only Hunter had dun hit his card a second time an nun of the rest of us cud say we dun better.  So he dun won that one.

Ok, now is when things started ta  git interestin.  I grabbed up six little sticks what wuz about three inches long an just about the same size round as a  bone frum a front rabbit leg.  So weez stude them sticks up so they is standin up tall above what is holdin them an back we goed.  Now if you dun wuz standin 40 yards back frum a stood up rabbit it wouldn’t be nutin ta plug the critter, but now git just a front leg bone standin down there an there ain’t much what you kin see.  Well this is what we wuz a seein an there weren’t much of it ta see.

We all git loaded up an ta make it fair we dun took each a shot whilst the others just stood an watched.  Beins how he aint skeert of nutin, Crazy Skinner went first.  When the smoke cleared, there stood his stick just like before the shot.  Hunter steps up next and after much thinkin an aimin an the gun dun finally goes off an the smoke clears, his stick is just like it wuz before.  I dun stepped ta the line an takes careful aim an squeezed the trigger an BOOM goes the gun an when the smoke dun cleared, there stood my stick without so much as a lead burn.  Dag Nabbit!  Bout this time ol  Trap Dancer he has ta go back inta the woods fer mother nature wuz callin so he aint gonna be shootin at his stick this here time.  So, up steps Edjukateer an he is gonna be teachin each of us a lesson on gun handlin an shootin an scorin.  He caps up, aims, takes a long deep breath and goes ta squeezing the trigger.  His form is real steady an he sure is determined ta make his stick go away, the gun goes off and smoke dun fills the space frum his barrel ta the stick.  When the smoke duz finally go away, there is his stick still standin, just like afor.

Next and last man up is John Deere.  He ain’t feerin nutin, just like Crazy Skinner an he is gonna show us how it’s dun.  I gotta tell ya now, John Deere is a man what has only been on this earth for sum 13 years, but he knows where his stick floats an he knows just how sweet his rifle is ta shoot.  He dun steps ta the line an just like Edjukateer, gits his self all gathered up and with a deep breath he dun aims down range ta his stick.  Smooth as silk he is as the trigger finally does release and lets the hammer fall.  BOOM!  An that old familiar cloud of smoke fills the space and then slowly starts ta go away.  As the smoke is clearin, we kin all see clear what his stick is GONE!!!  John Deere has just kicked our butts right there on that there firin line!  He turns tawards us an we is standin there with our mouths dropped pert near ta the ground, an he says, “Boys, I am the best there is amongst all us who is here shootin right now”.  An ya know he was right , an we dun went ta shake his hand an tell him he was the best one sure.  He sure was havin himself a great time right then cuz his grinnin face cudn’t handle a bigger grin!

If you ever want a laugh like none other, just get one of your buddies to put a full Tyvek suit on and then have him cross a barbed wire fence!  Laughing can’t get any harder than that!  😉

On an elk hunt several years ago, Hunter, Many Steps, Edjukateer (then Cherry) and I were trying our best to somehow coax, or otherwise, get a big bull to cross over onto our hunting area out of a no hunting posted piece of ground.  We had tried nearly every trick we could and when they finally did show on our property, the shots were muffed in one way or another.

This particular day we found fresh snow, and it was pretty deep snow at that, when we woke up.  So, we decided to wear our snow color camo to help disguise us.  Who else but Edjukateer (Cherry at the time) would have a Tyvek suit.  I’ll have to admit, when he put it on and went out into the snow, he virtually disappeared.  The suit was exactly the same shade of white as the snow.  While the rest of us sort of looked a pale blue against the snow.

We were high on a ridge when we spot a lone bull about a mile up the drainage and very close to an old fence.    We checked out all of the terrain and picked out features that we should be able to identify once we got up to about where he was bedded.  Then off we went in hot pursuit.

Arriving at our parking spot, we spoke very softly in whispers so as to lessen the impact of our being there on the big bull.  We knew we had to be very quiet if we were to get close enough for a shot with our muzzleloaders.  So away from the ATV’s we headed.  About 100 yards up the hill we came to the old fence.  Hunter, Many Steps and I crossed without a hitch.  We were standing there with a foot on a lower wire pushing it down, and hands on an upper wire pulling it up and Edjukateer (Cherry at the time) was trying to get through the opening.

Perhaps he was a bigger man back then, or perhaps he should have picked up a smaller Tyvek suit, but any way you looked at it, that fence was loving that Tyvek.  As he struggled and became more and more entangled in the barbs of that there fence the funnier and funnier the scene became.  We were all trying our darndest to be quiet, and if you have ever tried to laugh out loud and be quiet at the same time it has to be one of the hardest things in the world to do.

The three of us were laughing so hard without making any sounds that our faces were as red as beets.  Tears were coming out of our eyes and running down our cheeks.  And still not a sound could be heard.  Edjukateer (Cherry at the time) had his head down so I don’t think he ever saw the three of us laughing.  He was so caught up (literally) and we were so much laughing that we couldn’t help him at all.  It was about all we could do to be holding the wires like we were, let alone help unstick him from the barbs.

With a big pull, jerk, lunge and/or combination of all of those things, over onto our side of the fence stood Edjukateer (Cherry at the time).  His Tyvek suit took quite a hit with that maneuver and it was rather shredded.  Lots of clothing underneath could be plainly seen.  It was then that he noticed we were laughing and he joined in!  Now if that isn’t a funny sight just in and of itself, there stood 4 grown men, with red faces, teeth showing , tears running down our cheeks and heads bobbling with the laughter caught deep inside each of us.

Once composed (5 minutes or more later), we split up into two groups of two and went looking for the elk, which probably watched us the whole time and decided red against white didn’t look like something he wanted to have too close to him.  All of him that was found was a bedding spot and hoof prints getting the heck out of there.

Thanks Edjukateer for the lesson on crossing the fence while wearing a Tyvek suit.  You made our day!

Bears Butt

May 24, 2011