Good morning my friends!  I awoke this day to 35 degrees of warming trend on this January 2015 morning.  We have had highs in the 20’s of late and now we are facing a trend that should see us with highs in the 50’s within the next few days.  That doesn’t make for happy ice fishing.  But that is not why I’m writing today.  You see, I had a dream…………

As you progress through this rambling of thoughts, keep in mind, none of what you are about to take in has been tested and it could be an absolutely dangerous game.  And so, I will start you off with a warning….THE FOLLOWING COULD CAUSE BODILY HARM AND EVEN DEATH TO PARTICIPANTS AND SPECTATORS (and I’m not just talking about those that live in California).  So, I consider myself covered and not liable for injury from anyone attempting to make my dream a reality.  Lawyers please stand by, here goes.

Golf.

A happy (to most) sport when not taken too seriously.  But as big as the sport is, there are thousands who really take it to extremes and break their clubs, throw stuff into ponds, kick trees, punch their buddies, lie to their spouses about where they have been and even take to drinking in excess.  Each of these “fits” of rage cause other consequences which we have read about in the news for decades.  Divorces, bankruptcy, automobile wrecks, affairs, well, you know.  And what you are about to read about could cause the same types of things.  But that is not why I’m writing either.  I’d like to share my idea with you.

Golf, the happy sport.  A set of clubs, a ball, a set of rules and a goal.  The clubs are designed to “lift” the ball off the ground and sent it flying toward the goal.  The goal is to get the ball to drop into a hole at the far end of a distance.  And of course the stinking rules which are written and designed to keep the playing field equal to all who play the game.

My idea is no different, except there is a “safety” issue at hand and that must be further investigated and adhered too.

I call my idea, “RAMROD GOLF” for lack of anything else to call it at this time.  Perhaps if someone actually takes up this sport they will rename it…maybe Bears Butt Golf, or Butt golf (which could lead to more divorces than necessary if the spouse of the participant doesn’t understand what is really going on).

A set of ramrods (balls), rifle and powder charges and caps or flints (clubs), a set of stinking rules and a goal.

Your key ingredient in this game is the powder charge.  Because of excess pressures that could be created in the firing chamber of the rifle the upper limit of a powder charge should be limited to perhaps 5 grains of carefully measured powder.  Of course some method of setting that powder charge off, which to most of us would be a #11 cap, or perhaps for the more pure of heart a flint and a flint lock rifle.  For this writing I shall be referring to a cap lock rifle.  I envision 5 grains as a maximum charge, in that I have seen how ram rods fired with 60 or so grains of powder, really get down range quickly and upon hitting something down there will literally explode upon impact.  For this game you wish to be able to recover that ram rod and re-use it.  Let’s play down the amount of powder we use.  So, for now, rule number one (stinking rules) is a 5 grain maximum powder charge.

With that maximum 5 grain load of powder, we slide the ram rod down firmly upon it and after placing a cap on the nipple we fire the ram rod in the direction of the goal….boom!  And we watch it float its way toward said goal.

Let’s digress for a moment.  With two or more participants playing the game at the same time, I would like to be able to tell my ram rod from everyone elses’, so I would paint my ramrod, let’s say in red/white and blue stripes.  You would paint yours however you wanted so that once we got downrange and found our ramrods, we would know yours from mine.

From where my ramrod lays, or is sticking up out of the ground, I will proceed to reload it and again fire it towards the goal.  Each participant would do the same, always keeping safety in mind and never firing your ramrod in the direction of anyone else on the course (stinking rule number 2, but not necessarily written that way in the rule book, which hasn’t been written yet).

As I get closer to the goal, I might want to consider downsizing my powder charge.  Let’s say I have fired two sets of 5 grains and am now only 20 feet from the goal.  Would 5 grains put my ramrod past the goal?  Maybe, maybe not.  I suppose now you need to know what the “goal” is!

Goal!  Golf is a stupid game (IMHO) where the ball you are hitting must end up in the bottom of a cup and you count how many times you hit that little ball in order to have it end up there.  Ramrod Golf is no different in that respect, EXCEPT, the ramrod must stick into a foam ball sticking out of the ground and the foam ball measures 1 (one) foot in diameter.  Foam is not the best of materials to cause a lot of resistance to a projectile being fired at it and in order for the ramrod to hit it and stick inside it without coming out the other side, would require less force than perhaps 5 grains of powder would produce, but maybe from the distance you are shooting from, 5 grains might be perfect (you decide, or you can rely on your gun carrying buddy).  Stinking rule number 3, the ramrod must stick and stay inside the foam ball in order for you to call that “hole” ended for this game.

Now you and your buddies add up the total number of shots it took to accomplish that goal.  Write it on your score sheets.  Individually of course.

Let’s look at a golf course of the modern day.  A par 4 hole is one that pretty much exceeds 300 yards from the starting point to the hole (I could be wrong, maybe it’s more like 400 yards).  So, in ramrod golf you would probably want to use the maximum amount of powder allowed (5 grains) to push your ramrod the farthest down range for at least the first shot and maybe even two shots.  And then back off on the powder and try to stick your ramrod into the foam ball at the end of the course.  Too much powder and the ramrod plows through the foam ball and you have to shoot it back costing you shots (and most likely a beer bet).  A point to ponder, what if your ramrod is less than one foot from the foam ball?  How much powder are you going to use now big boy?  Is your strategy to lay down and take your shot?  Or are you going to stand directly above the foam ball and drive the ramrod straight into the ground?  (There could be more stinking rules coming).

Strategies are had in every sport there is and this one is no different.  When you are playing, should you be quiet so your buddy can concentrate, or should you be obnoxiously loud and pouring beer down all the while?  I’m certain more rules will be drafted as time goes on, but for now, you decided.

Someone needs to come up with a way to measure the pressure inside the firing chamber for  a powder charge of 5 grains and a ramrod of “X” length and “Y” weight.  Is it safe?  Can it be increased to 10 grains?  20?  Should the rule book even have a maximum powder charge assigned?

Another idea I dreamed about was attaching a Hoppies lubed felt pad to the “down the barrel end” of my ramrod to create pressure enough to push the ramrod out for maximum distance and a muzzle end wad (like an over the shot wad in shotguns) at the muzzle end, to keep the ramrod in the center of the barrel for firing accuracy.  Just a couple of dream thoughts there.

I would also expect every participant to have several ramrods available for their game, just in case the rod breaks, or goes astray and ends up in the rough or pond and not recoverable.  Shots of course would be added for the lost ramrod and coming outside the rough or pond and producing another ramrod.  Rule number 4.

Well, there you have it….Ramrod Golf, in its simplest form and before a whole lot of rules.  If you think of some more rules or ideas to make the game safer, please comment below, as people from all over the world are reading this and several of them, let’s say from the redneck states of Tennessee or Kentucky, just might want to start this game this weekend.

Bears Butt

January 6, 2015