Kids are wonderful!  This drawing is one that Sophia Wayment drew instead of doing her homework.  A pretty picture of an astronaut on the moon.  What a pretty picture Sophia and what a great imagination she has.  Let’s look closer at the picture.

WOHAAAAA!  What is that question that is being asked?  I would have a frown on my face as well if that was me!

And so who better than Bears Butt to investigate the obvious?  I have often wondered but until now did not want to take the time to find out the answer.  We all know that if we are healthy, we have to “go” at least once each day and let me say number one and number two.  We should all know what number one and number two mean.  In my aging body, number one happens very often, day and night.  Ok, so here you find yourself an astronaut and in your suit you “have to go”!  Now what….”Houston we have a problem”!!!!

In my research I found that early in the U.S. days of space exploration the first manned space craft was scheduled to take off, reach outer space and then come back to earth and splash into the Atlantic ocean.  The total time for the whole ordeal was to last 15 minutes.  Alan Shepard was the chosen man for the job.  Perhaps they tested his abilities to “hold it” and that is what got him the job over the second choice person.  I don’t know for sure, but if I was making the choice it would have been in my testing.

Well, there he was, and it took a whole lot longer than 15 minutes as was projected.  Delay after delay.  You know those NASA guys, if the readings don’t come back correctly, they are going to check and re-check until everything reads “go”.  I would trust them with that one.  So, poor old Alan laid there and suddenly he had to tell the guys, “Hey Houston, I have to go to the bathroom, number one”.  (Those are my words not his).  There was panic in the streets and in the control room!  Oh My!  Now what?  Boss, you make the decision!  We don’t have time for a meeting.

And so, the boss does what a good boss does well.  Without much thought at all, he orders the electronics inside Alan’s suit to be shut off and then he tells Alan in a very gentle voice.  Just go ahead and “number one” in your suit.  We’ll take care of things when you get back.

Well, Alan held it a bit longer and then just had to let it go.  I feel bad for him and for the rest of his time in delays and then throughout the launch and recovery, was wearing his urine.  Poor guy!  But what the heck, that’s part of the reason he got paid the big bucks right?  Someone should have thought about that before hand.

Well, a lot has happened in the line of space travel since those early days.  I wonder what the Russians did….after all they were the first in space.

Just like everything else that is new, time has seen it all and in space they now have it pretty good.  From my reading there is still a lot that needs to be addressed but over all it seems like they have a pretty good system.

The rocket ships of today allow for the travelers (astronauts) to get out of their seats and move around.  At least they can once in orbit.  But, just like flying down here on earth, they have to be buckled into their seats during take off and landing.  They have another time to be seated and strapped in and that is during “docking”….docking is when one space craft hooks up with another space craft.  In a docking situation the incoming ship actually fits inside a space designed for that purpose on the “receiving or mother” ship.  Then the incoming ship is locked on and becomes “one” with the mother ship.

So, the travelers can walk around.  He Joe, I gotta go!

They have a special room designed for the astronaut to go into and they have an option of standing to go, or to sit down.  How nice.  Should they choose to stand, they have to attach straps to their thighs to keep them in place.  For guys there is a tube like thing that has a suction of air pulling the “number one” fluid away from the guys body and into a tank.  The girls have something similar but it is more of a funnel that does the same thing.

As for number two business they don’t have a standing option.  They must sit and with that, they have a bar mounted to the floor where they place their toes, also a waste bar, much like one used to keep you in the seat of a carnival ride.  Again the vaccuum comes one and sucks the waste down and away from the person.  This stuff goes into a tank other than where the urine goes.  Why?  Well, actually, when the nearest fresh water is over 200 miles away, you just might have to have a drink of something other than fresh water….that is where that separate tank comes in mighty handy.

Quit “yewwwwing”, that liquid is cleaned up, filtered, evaporated and the evaporated vapors are liquified and collected and filtered again.  The end result is a drink of water that is just a pure as can be made using todays systems.  No body has died from drinking it.

The solids from a number two goes straight into a bag and sealed like a “seal a meal” and stored into a tank where someone on the ground has to deal with it later.

So, Sophia, they don’t poop in their suits.

Just sayin!

Bears Butt

December 16, 2014

This 7 minute video just might peak an interest!  As of right now you could own this rifle:

Yesterday was the opening day for the sleigh rides out among the elk at the Hardware Ranch.  The weather wasn’t cooperating this year and so there was no snow and consequentially no elk.  There were some elk, but they were up and away from the meadow where the guys feed them and it made for some pretty tough viewing.  The sleigh drivers tried to get as close as they could but it was still a long way off to view them.  But what the heck!  We don’t need no stinking elk to have fun.

The Utah Division of Wildlife Resources had a full array of fun things for people to do and I made the most of it.  I regret I couldn’t get over to the outside building to see what was going on in there.  I heard they had the stream wildlife exhibit and hands on activities over there as well as making your own ornaments out of browse and your choice of “poop”.  Of course since you were calling the shots, you could elect not to put poop in your ornament.  What a fun thing!  And even though I didn’t get over to see you guys, THANKS A LOT for being there for all of us.  Back in the visitor center where they tucked us away, we were having a great time right from the get-go!

The Willow Creek Free Trappers that were there included, Wapiti Dung (Mountain man extraordinaire), Edjukateer, Winemaker, Tracker, Bones, Weasel, Hot Spark, Squirrel, Kenzie and myself.  We had our normal amount of stuff out for people to see, touch and ask questions about and by the end of the day our orderly arrangement of furs and gear looked like a pile of stuff.  That’s OK, it means everyone was having a great time feeling the different furs and handling the things we had on display from the mountain man era.  I have to say, I got the biggest kick out of having people feel the textures of the different animals fur, and when we got to the bobcat, I would have them feel the back of it first.  Everyone thought that was the coolest and softest of the furs.  Then I would turn it over and have them feel the belly side….EVERY ONE of them, including the guys, would say out loud…”WOW, I like that!  That is SOOO Soft”!  The kids eyes would get really big too and more often than not would look up to their parents with a big grin.

This was our 11th year of being in attendance at this event and from the looks of things it won’t be our last invitation.  I think we need to get some more pelts….Mink, Weasel, Bear, Ring Tail Cat….How about an Armadillo?  Maybe not soft enough.

Well, I did manage to walk around the inside of the visitor center and get a few pictures of some of the things going on, and I want to share them with you right now.

This is just a part of the crowd that came to see what we had to show off.  There were times when the crowd was so big people were having a heck of a time getting around.  Here you can see Wapiti and Edjukateer explaining different things to parts of the crowd.

There was a photographer with the Ogden Standard Examiner there taking pictures to go with the article he was to write for the paper.  This lady is holding up a knife made out of obsidian and attached to a deer leg bone for a handle.  It was a very popular item for people to pick up and feel.

Weasel and McKenzie were very good at explaining the different furs as well and made everyone feel very welcome.  And after they had the chance to see all the things we had, they got to put on mountain man coats and hats and get their pictures taken.  Here is Bones gathering up stuff for people to put on for their pictures.

When I left our area to visit the other things going on it was very obvious everyone was having a fun time.

The only person in attendance who couldn’t leave her assigned post was this lady…she was in charge of the cash register and she handed out tickets for the sleigh rides.  A very dedicated person indeed.  I couldn’t even talk her into leaving just long enough to get a picture in some mountain man attire.  She kept saying how rough her boss was.

I don’t know where these ideas come from, but the DWR folks have made some castings of fish and they allow the kids (mostly, but if an adult wants to play they could too) to paint over the casting with whatever colors and designs they want and then they press a piece of clean white paper over the paint.  When they feel they have it sufficiently pressed all over the fish casting, they carefully peel it up and reveal their own fish picture.  A great idea and a wonderful memory for the kids to take home and hang on their wall.  This young lady was gracious enough to allow me to take pictures of her while she made her fish picture.

Carefully peeling up the paper.

Now how about that for a pretty picture!?!  Great job!  Thanks for letting me a part of it!

Another of my favorites was the “make your own beaver rock”!  We all know that “Beavers Rock”!

So, you have a large selection of rocks to choose from, I saw 3 buckets of rocks to pick through.  I made one for myself and I know that Winemaker made herself one as well and when I got over to this booth, I found Tracker in the process of making himself one.

Again….Where do these cute ideas come from?  I hope if you are reading this and have kids or grandkids around, you need to bring them up to the Hardware Ranch to enjoy some of this fun stuff.  It’s all free except for the ride out among the elk and remember, a picture of you and your kids just might end up being your next years Christmas Card!

Now, as I promised everyone who came up but forgot their camera, we took pictures of you with my camera and I promised to post them on here.  I don’t know your names, but you are more than welcome to copy the pictures and put them on your own computer.  I have to tell you now that I had to make them smaller to put them on here and so if you need a fuller resolution picture for your own, just let me know through a comment under this story, or find me on Facebook and give me a personal message.  I can send you a full resolution picture that would be better for “blowing up” (enlarging).  Thank you all for coming up to the ranch and playing!  It was a fun time.

In order for you to easily tell me which picture you want I have numbered them sequentially under the picture.

I said earlier that we have been coming to this event for 11 years and we look forward to it every year and do you know why?  Well, first off it is because of “everyone” from the DWR down to the smallest visitor in a stroller, but this picture says it all to me:

Is there anyone having more fun than this guy?  Only me!

#1 (What a cutie!)

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#30

#31

#32

#33

#34

#35

#36

#29 (With the Mountain Men)

And we couldn’t have a proper set of pictures without the Assistant Ranch Manager and her family with the Mountain men as well!

Thank you all!  We had a very fun time!  Merry Christmas to all of you!

Bears Butt

December 14, 2014

Baby Boy posted up something on Facebook about a restaurant he went into while on one of his jaunts around the country.  The place sounded like a pretty shady place to me….”Dicks Last Resort”…..hmmmm.  Well he said the food was good and the atmosphere was cool too.  I have no idea where this place is at and will probably never enter through their doors, but I wish them well.

It reminded me of a place in Virginia the guys I worked with took me to for a lunch a couple of times.  Again, I know it’s in Virginia, but have no idea where…somewhere just outside D.C.  I put my thinking cap on and really grunted to think of the name.  The one that keeps coming back is “The Virginia Inn”.  Don’t hold me to that because I’m still not entirely sure.  I can tell you that at 11:30 a.m. on the last day I was there, we stood in line outside a very dilapidated building, with smoke bellowing out a large flue on top.  It made the place look like it was on fire inside.  But occasionally the door would be opened, a few people would come out, and that many more would be let in.

My gang was a group of about 8 if I recall and we talked out loud and questioned if we would all be allowed in at the same time or not, but decided no matter what, we would all meet outside when we were done eating and ride back to work together.  That worked extremely well for me, because back there, there are no landmarks to tell you which way North is and I was totally lost.  My ride back to work was a necessity.  As we inched toward the door at a pace of one to five customers at a time, the ones coming out were noticeably loud and filled with funny stuff to say.  They served beer inside and so I just took that to mean they had been enjoying some of them.

When it came our turn and the door opened out came the same number of people that our group consisted of and we all got to go in and sit at the same large table.

Inside it was dark and it took awhile for our eyes to adjust to the lighting.  Around the room filled with people and chatter were things….papers, metal plates, dishes, notes, paintings, cups, signed footballs and basketballs.  I remember an old sleigh hanging on the wall.  The ceiling was filled with things as well and you hoped nothing would fall on you.  Some of it looked pretty heavy, but mostly the things on the ceiling were papers and dollar bills.  The place was packed and you could hardly move.  I don’t know where the bathroom(s) were and didn’t want to leave the table anyway, as one would have had a very hard time getting around the other tables and chairs.  Everyone was having a very good time in there.

Our waitress came around and she was dressed like a 50’s type waitress, pencil over her ear, chewing gum going a mile a minute and a big old smile on her face.  Her Virginia best accent came across almost as if it were a foreign language asking if we knew what we wanted to order.  There were no menus handed out.  So, because it was all new to me, I just listened to what the others were ordering and followed suit….A chili dog with fries and a draft beer.  Why not!  I was with the boss and that was what he ordered.  I figured if the boss can have a beer for lunch, so could I.

The dogs and beers came quickly and as we sat there chatting and eating the place changed customers at least twice.  People were being hustled in and out as quickly as they could.

At this time I did not know I was being set up, but one of the guys made a comment about having another beer and since I had finished mine I thought that would be a great idea.  The ladies in the group were only half finished with their meals anyway and so one of the guys hailed down the waitress.  She came over to me and asked what I needed….and not in a very nice voice I might add.  When I asked for another beer, she shrugged her shoulders, flipped her hip and went off in a huff.  I thought that very strange.

It wasn’t very long, maybe 10 seconds, and here came the big lady that had ushered us in through the door to set us down.  Her first question to me was something like:  “Have you eaten yet?  You had your chance to order as much as you wanted.  And now I’m told you want to have another beer!  Where in the hell are you from?  You aren’t from around here are you”?  I was rather set back at this but answered politely, “No maam, I’m not around here, I’m from Utah”.  Boy howdy did she ever go off on me!  She started saying things about my accent, my looks, my ways of thinking, my mother, my dad, my religion (which she had no idea of) and just about everything you can think of in a negative way.  The whole place had stopped chatting and eating and were all looking our way while she proceeded to call me all kinds of “dumb-a**”  and finished with “And now I want you to pay your bill and get the hell out of here!  We have paying customers waiting for your seat right now so ‘Git Out'”!!!!!

The gang I was with were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes and they jointly paid for my meal….nice of them.  We all left with big smiles on our faces and I thanked the “big old gal” for the good time as we went out the door.

As for the food, well it was alright I guess, after all how can you make a hot dog anything but just what it is….hog lips and floor sweepins…top it off with some canned chili and sprinkle some cheese on top….the beer on the other hand was an excellent local beer without a name, as far as I know.  It was cold, mild and tasty.

That was over 20 years ago and I’d just bet by now the place has burned down, but if it isn’t and you are in that area, look it up and go in for your own surprise!

Bears Butt

December 12, 2014

The other day I told you about a “movement”….the following is the first article I read about after Tracker turned me on to these guys. I thought you too should read about it and perhaps get your “game on”:

Stone age hunting.
The War on Terrorism is lost (some think intentionally) and
the United Kingdom is economically, politically and morally bankrupt.

This combined with the majority extinction of man due to
exhaustion of carbon fuels and the ingress of permanent
mass extinction of most species caused by man made global
warming, life as we have come to see as normal is about to
end.

In preparation for the rapid return to the stone age, learn
some survival skills!

Try to avoid killing fellow urban citizens and concentrate
on outlaws living in the wilds in an attempt to prolong law
and order.

Practice your skills on other species for the inevitable
situation where humans hunt other humans for both food and
fuel.

Most importantly, learn patience to be a good hunter.

Stone throwing training.

Use your basic environment as a weapon.

Throw stones in a sequence of three.

Three throwing stones.
[ballast stones]

Adjust aim each throw to counter effects of
inaccuracy, wind and or non perpendicular gravity on slopes.

Get a good footing and stance.

Keep your eye and mind on the target throughout, from sighting to stone impact.

Practise in good light.

Practise every day using small targets for larger ambition.

Use same weight roundish stones.

Granite railway ballast is good and heavy.

Granite railway ballast stones.
[railway ballast stones]

Put spin on the stone with index finger when thrown to keep flight path straight.

Throw at targets well within your range.

Throwing stone grip.
[throwing stones]

Stop when you hit the target to end on a positive outcome and to avoid learning bad technique.

James Kennard throwing stance.
[throwing stones]

Do not wear rucksack when throwing – keep your movement free.

It seems there are two types of throw: throw and observe results, or know and hit.
We do not understand their differences yet.

————
I’m sorry the pictures didn’t show up in this….please use your imagination.
Bears Butt
December 9, 2014

In all the big game record books the requirement for the hunter (shooter) of the big game animal to “tell their story” of how they managed to harvest the animal being requested to be placed in the record book.  Having placed one of those record animals in “the book” myself, I recall answering the questions on the application form and detailing my story.  That animal still stands in the book but like all other records, they are being broken nearly every year with someone harvesting an even bigger animal, thus forcing those already listed in the book to be pushed down the list.  I believe mine stands at position 22.

With technology the way it is, it has become even easier for hunters to harvest big game animals at greater and greater distances.  I am a firm believer in technology and what it can and does do for us as hunters and sportsmen.  However, I need to make it perfectly clear that I do NOT condone shooting big game animals at distances greater than 500 yards and strongly urge each of you reading this to take that same stand.  It is my belief that 500 yards is actually outside a big game animals “instinctive” zone of danger being present.  However, I have harvested elk at 400 yards and it was not an easy shot to make.  My rifle has plenty of knockdown power at that 400 yard range with the bullet of my choice.  400 yard shots are not my norm and would rather take a shot at 10 yards than 400 any day of the week.

The Boone and Crockett club and their record books have been around a very long time and their records and measurement methods are used almost exclusively by other record keepers.  They have firmly taken a stand on the harvesting of big game animals in the United States and in a nutshell have defined Fair Chase, as harvesting a big game animal at a distance wherein the animal would clearly sense imminent danger.

What is that distance to you?

One mile is 5,280 feet, or 1,760 yards.  Would a big game animal sense you were a threat at that distance?  I think not.  If they could see you they would probably keep an eye on you but continue to do what they were doing when they first noticed you.  In city blocks I am unable to relate distances for you to understand how far things are away because there is no standard for the length of a city block.  Most cities across the country would average 450 feet in length, but that is a guesstimate on my part and so let’s use a standard that we all know….a foot ball field….100 yards from goal line to goal line (not the posts).  So one mile is 17.6 foot ball fields long (almost 18 foot ball fields long).  The elk I shot were 400 yards away and 1/4 of one mile is 440 yards.  Four foot ball fields away is still a long ways away.  The elk were nervous, but I would not say they were anything else.  I think it could be argued that at that distance they were not considering me an imminent danger to them and yet I was able to place my bullet right where it needed to be placed for a quick and humane kill.

Enough said about that.  I strongly urge you to think about long range shooting at big game animals.  Is it fair to the animal that you shoot it at distances greater than 500 yards?  Is it ethical to take that shot?  How much “off” do you have to be to hit that animal in a non-lethal spot and cause it to go off and die a slow and painful death, and most likely without YOU knowing you even hit it?  After you take that long distance shot and the animal does not go right down, are you going to get up off your duff and walk over to where the animal was standing when you shot at it and check for blood?  My bet is NO.  Furthermore, most of those long range shots are going to be across a canyon from one side to another.  I’d bet 12 pack after 12 pack that YOU would not hike down to the bottom of the canyon or draw and up the steep other side to check for blood.  Think about that!

Well, Boone and Crockett had a meeting list past week and one of the members spoke to the group…here is the video they posted:

Bears Butt
December 8, 2014