By: Bears Butt
Todays law makers are sometimes way out in left field when it comes to making laws that actually have some real meaning. We can all relate to the latest Federal and “some” states mandates on firearms in trying to eliminate or control mass shootings. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…You can not legislate gun control.
I went looking for stupid laws around the nation, laws that were thought to be practical at the time but are way out there now and need to be removed from the books, re-worded or at least have the wording changed. So as not be called discriminating, I’ll try and produce at least one such law from each of the states.
Alabama: I had a tough time limiting this to just a few…they have a bunch!
Bear Wrestling matches are prohibited.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
It’s illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sunset on Wednesday.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Alaska:
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
Although it is legal to shoot a bear, to wake a bear from slumber for the purpose of taking a photograph is strictly prohibited.
Arizona:
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
In Mericopa county, No more than six girls may live in any house.
Arkansas:
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
In Fayetteville, It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
California:
California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.
In San Jose and Sunnyvale it is illegal for grocery stores to provide plastic bags.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Colorado:
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
In Boulder City, It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.
Connecticut:
Town records may not be kept where liquor is sold.
In Devon City, It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
In Hartford City, It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
Delaware:
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
In Lewes City, It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. And,
It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist.
Florida:
The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
It is illegal to sell your children.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
(I’m sorry but Florida has a heap of dumb laws).
Georgia:
If an organization non registered as “non-profit” fails to register their raffle with the local sheriff, that group risks paying up to $10,000 in fines and spending five years in jail.
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Hawaii:
All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.
Idaho:
Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Illinois:
It is illegal to hang “obstructions” form the rear view mirror, including fuzzy dice, air fresheners, GPS units, etc.
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
Indiana:
Waitresses may not carry drinks into a restaurant or bar.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
Liquor stores may not sell milk.
Iowa:
It is a crime to use a dead person’s handicapped parking sign or license plate.
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Kansas:
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
Kentucky:
One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
Louisiana:
One could possibly land in jail for 20 years upon urinating in the city’s water supply.
It is a $500 fine to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend without them knowing.
Maine:
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
In Ellsworth City, If any part of the sign ordinances of the city are more stringent than federal laws, even though they may be in conflict with them, they will prevail.
Maryland:
Thistles may not grow in one’s yard.
In Baltimore City, It’s illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.
Massachusetts:
It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.
Shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
(Massachusetts is close to Florida for dumb laws)
Michigan:
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
In Detroit City, Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
Minnesota:
It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
In Cottage Grove City, Residents of even numbered addresses may not water their plants on odd-numbered days excluding the thirty first day where it applies.
Mississippi:
If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $250 fine.
Missouri:
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).
In Columbia City, Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
In Kansas City, Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.
Montana:
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
In Helena City, It is illegal to annoy passersby on sidewalks with a revolving water sprinkler.
Nebraska:
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
In Lehigh City, Doughnut holes may not be sold.
Nevada:
It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
In Elko City, Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
In Nyala City, A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
New Hampshire:
You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey:
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
You cannot pump your own gas.
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
New Mexico:
Nudity is allow, provided that male genitals are covered.
In Deming City, Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.
In Las Cruces City, You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
New York:
It is illegal to congregate in public with two or more people while each wearing a mask or any face covering which disguises your identity.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
(Oh dear, New York has a lot of dumb laws)
North Carolina:
It is a felony to steal more than $1000 of grease.
A bill has been passed that restricts local planning agencies’ ability to use climate change science to predict sea-level rise.
If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
North Dakota:
Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
In Fargo City, One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
Ohio:
In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.
The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
No civil arrests may be made on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
Oklahoma:
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
(Oklahoma should get with Florida and other states to try and figure out what is a good law and what isn’t)
Oregon:
Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.
A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.
Dishes must drip dry.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
(Oregon, get in line with Oklahoma and Florida)
Pennsylvania:
It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel.
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
(Oh Dear Pennsylvania…get in line with the others)
Rhode Island:
Cap guns are illegal.
Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law.
Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
In Scituate City, It is illegal to drive down any street with beer in your car, even if it is unopened.
South Carolina:
By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
South Dakota:
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
In Spearfish City, If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.
Tennessee:
It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee.
In Tennessee it is illegal to to post images online that cause “emotional distress” “without legitimate purpose”.
Hollow logs may not be sold.
No Christian parent may require their children to pick up trash from the highway on Easter day.
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
Interracial marriages are illegal.
Texas:
One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
The Bluebonnet is the official song of the state flower.
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
(Hey Texas..The line is over there)
Utah:
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
In Logan City, Women may not swear.
Vermont:
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
In Barre City, All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
Virginia:
There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.
If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
It is illegal to tickle women.
No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.
Washington:
The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment.
No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.
It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.
A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
(Move over Florida, here comes Washington)
West (By God) Virginia:
When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
A tax of 1 cent is levied for every 16 and 9 ounces of coke sold in a store.
For each act of public swearing a person shall be fined one dollar.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.
Wisconsin:
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
It is illegal to throw rocks at a railroad car.
And Finally, Wyoming:
All new buildings that cost over $100,000 to build must have %1 of funds spent on art work for the building.
If one is drunk in a mine, he or she could land in jail for up to a year.
It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people’s view in a public theater or place of amusement.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.
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You can read them all at this web site. I hope you enjoyed my choices, but trust me, there are a whole lot more that I didn’t put up on here because it’s a family show.
http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/alabama
Bears Butt
Feb. 13, 2013
Utah Fishing Reports
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