I came across the saying “Dead as a Door Nail” today and that got me thinking…What is a Door nail?  Of course the obvious then hit my pea brain, how is it to be as dead as whatever a door nail is?

Boy did I ever go on a search.  There are tons of sites that talk about Dead As A Door Nail and they have an assortment of things that are pretty much dead and related to that door nail they talk about.

So, here is what I have deducted from all the sites I read about.

WAY back when Sir Butt was stomping around in Common Ground it seems that someone invented nails.  Each nail had to be made by hand, forged from a very hot fire and pounded into shape via an anvil and hammer.  Every nail, as it came to be known as, was unique, but it was a whole lot easier to put together pieces of wood with a “nail” as it was using wooden dowels or wood pegs, as what was the custom of the time.  And so, to have something tacked together using nails was very unique and something that only the wealthy could afford, it became “the” thing to have.  Even if it was a smallish thing.

And so the story goes, and the kings and the rulers of the lands built these big old places for themselves and their understudies to live and have their parties and on each one they had big old doors made of wood.  We all know that wood can only come in so wide a piece, because of the thickness of the base of the tree.  So, in order to make a door, say 5 feet wide, it would take several slabs of wood to cover that distance and then would have to be held together using a couple of other pieces laid across and fastened some how.  This is where the nails came into play.

So, now we have a door to fit the space.  The first hinges were made of leather.  Another story.  So the nails were pounded through the cross braces that spanned the vertical slats and then through another cross board on the other side. These braces sandwiched the upright boards in such a fashion as they could not move.   Cross boards were generally used at the top and bottom of the doors length, but for a stronger door a third brace was used in the center as well and an even stronger door had the middle brace going diagonally down and across the door.  Fancy doors even had an “X” shaped out of diagonal braces.  Very strong doors for sure.

Over time, with the door opening and closing and sometimes slamming shut or banging on the outside of the building when fully opened, the ever so strong nails would loosen and cause the door to fit rather poorly in the opening it was to keep closed up.  So the wise people who built doors back in the day were rather cleaver to note that if they bent over the protruding pointed end of the nail and smashed it down against the wood the nail would never be able to work itself loose again.  And so they did that across the entire door and they called the nail “dead” because it was of no use other than to hold the door together.  On a side note it also made the door a safer place to play around with all those pointed ends now laid flat.

Other sites I visited said that the metal door knocker on the outside of the door; (you know the one that hinges at the top and then drops and strikes a metal plate and makes a loud metal to metal noise to alert the occupants of your visit) would strike a very large headed nail to make the knocking sound and it was that large headed nail that was actually called the “dead” nail, mostly because its sole job was to create the metal to metal sound.  Once pounded through the wooden door and bent over on the other side it was of no other use and so it became “dead”.  I personally would not have said it was dead as it was, after all, providing a very good metal to metal sound.  By definition a “dead” something is of no value, and so I don’t understand their thoughts on dead nails in a door.  Oh well.

Now here is another take on “dead nails”.  You open the door and suddenly a large gust of wind comes up and slams the door on your hand….OUCH!  Now you’ve done it, probably broken your fingers but at the very least your finger nail is blackened by the blow.  It’s going to hurt for many days and then the finger nail will fall off and hopefully grow a new one in its place.  Dang that makes my fingers hurt just to think of it and this typing is effected by the pain in all eight fingers and occasionally the thumb on my right hand.

And so the effected nail(s) on your hand were commonly called “door nails”.  And don’t get “door nails” confused with “hammer nails” you should be able to tell the difference.  I’ll give you a hint or two,  “door nails” can happen to any finger or thumb at any time and can even happen to all the nails on one hand or in the worst case all the nails of both hands at the same time…ooooo that is an ugly sight in my minds eye….. as opposed to “hammer nails”, they generally occur on the nails of the weaker hand than the persons dominant hand.  For instance, I am right handed and so I hammer by holding the hammer in my right hand and will hold the nail with my left hand….you get it.

So, the next time you see a friend with a blackened nail, ask them in a nice way if it is a door nail or a hammer nail and see what the response is.  Either way, I hope they don’t cold cock you and you end up “deader than a door nail”.  Be safe.

Bears Butt

Jan. 2, 2013