Today marks the National celebration of Eliza Doolittle but unlike her last name Eliza really did quite a bit.  Of course she had a whole lot of help doing it.  Sort of like Bears Butt.  I have a lot of stage crew that keep my image high (in your mind at least), why else would you keep hanging around this site reading the obscure?

Behinds the scenes of Eliza’s life are people of eloquence and grace.  She, after all was just a poor, almost homeless lass who barely could speak the language and be understood.  She was not very clean in her early days as she didn’t have the advantages of the richer folks and therefore had to take cold baths when ever that occasion presented itself.  How often would you take a cold bath?  I too would rather put up with smelling and being dirty until I just couldn’t stand myself before venturing into a cold bath.  Kind of like being on the muzz hunt with a bunch of guys.

She could speak the language, but was really rough and talked “street talk” quite well.  Since she was a girl, the boys gave her a wide range.  She could handle herself well with the roughest of the boys out there.  But, when she came into favor with a rich woman who could see she was a blossoming lass, the best of the best of teachings were thrown her way and she learned quickly just how to say the words properly and how to carry herself among the well to do.

I’m a lot like that myself, only pretty much self trained.  Notice how I swagger when wearing my leathers.  Not too closely boys!  I like girls.  Notice how my language changes with whom I’m speaking.  Notice how I know just what to say and when to say it.  Some of you might think I have had just a few too many bubblies, but I almost always remember what went on.  Just a spoon full of sugar you know.

Eliza Doolittle, went from a street lass to a high class lady in less than the time it takes Bears Butt to draw a Crawford tag.  And her countenance was quite the opposite of one who might have heard, “Your countenance makes time stand still”!  (In other words, you are so ugly, you could stop a clock).  She was a beauty in every way.

As for Bears Butt in this parody, I may not be the most handsome, I may not be the most intelligent, I may not be the tallest, the thinnest or have perfect teeth, but I will offer you a drink and tell you a story.  Did I every mention about the “Rain in Spain falling mainly on the plain”?

Bears Butt

May 20, 2012