This humorous story was found in Aunt Maria’s trunk when we were going through all of the heirlooms in the attic.

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A LITTLE BOOKLET  “ WRITTEN TO GOD”

BY REELING MARADEN?

(Published Deurich Press, Chula Vista, California

Please god, I’ve said “now I lay me”, and if you have any time to spare I would like to ask you something Mother and Daddy are too busy to tell me.

I’m seven years old, and Mother says I’ve gotten into an awful habit of telling lies.  She says it is wicked God?  I sure would like to know, I’m all mixed up about that!

The other day I told a lie that got me into an awful mess; I just had to tell it though, for it was like this, God.

Every time I get in a fight Mother spanks me, and so when I socked Benny in the eye, because he kicked me in the stomach, I told Mother I didn’t do it.  See, God?  I didn’t want to get a licking!

But Daddy found out that I did, and he said to Mother, “We can’t let that boy go on like this!  He will have to be punished. “And so they did, for telling that lie.  And now Mother won’t let me go to the pony and dog show because I socked Benny, and it sure it tough luck, now isn’t it?

I don’t understand about this spanking business, God.  And this is what I wanted to ask you—“ Now I socked Benny in the eye, and Mother socked me right on my bare bottom and it hurt like the dickens!  Now God, who is going to sock Mother because she socked me!  Isn’t it just as bad for Mother to sock me as it is for me to sock Benny!

Of course Mother and Daddy are Good, but I do must like they do, and they say I am bad!

The other night Mother put me to bed at seven o’clock and said for me to go to sleep; that she and Daddy were going to sit in the other room and read.  I couldn’t go to sleep, so I called Mother to let me come in where she and Daddy were and play with my new engine,  But she didn’t answer, so I got up and went in nobody was there, and when I called to Nannie and asked where Mother and Daddy were she said “ They slipped out, because they didn’t want you to know they had gone and went to the bridge party.”

So you see, God, they tell lies too.  They do for a fact!  And nobody socks them, and they need it awful bad!

Mother says that if I say my prayers to you and ask you to make me good that you will do it.  Well I’ve asked you lots of times.  Now why don’t you God!  And please, God, Explain to me what is good, I sure don’t know.

Mother says that if I want anything to ask you.  So now, God , I wish you would sock Mother and Daddy.  They must have something done to them!

You just can’t let them go on like this!  And please tell me, God, if you were a little boy like me, and there was a pony and dog show in town, and your Mother wouldn’t let you go, what would you do?  Now I ask you God?

Well, I know what I’m going to do!  I’m going to run away and crawl under the tent!  Mother and Daddy run away from me and to the bridge parties, so why can’t I run away and to the pony and dog show!

Good night, God!  And please don’t forget to give Mother and Daddy a good spanking.

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The Mother of this little boy was just entering the room when his prayer began.  When it was finished she closed the door softly and tip toed downstairs and related to her husband, what she had over heard.

They were very much amused and laughed hilariously!  With great gusto and pride they told of the cleverness of their son.  But they kept on doing what they had been doing and the son kept on doing what he had been doing.

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What is the matter with this younger generation?

Feb. 9, 2003