We was settled inta rondeevoo some time back when sudden as a pole cat, Ol Tracker decides he is heading up north ta git him the worlds biggest moose what roamed the earth.  Now Ol Tracker he didn’t kater to no help, soes he is goin alone.  We tried ta tell him there would be a need for help, special ifn he bagged the biggist moose there was.  But he wouldn’t have any o that.  He headed off with our best regards and ta keep his top knot.

We proceeded ta rondeevoo like there wasn’t gonna be another.

Ol Tracker told us this tale when he got back.  Now listen close, cuz this tale leads inta a nuther real soon.  An you gonna have ta no sum of this ta no what the next means.

He said he left the rondeevoo with just nuff provisions ta make it far north as the edge of the musk keg, and my recollection is it must be sum perty powerful stuff what comes outa that keg.  Anyhow, he was there and outa everthing cept his powder, ball and caps.  He needed food sumpin fierce and soon.

As he pussyfooted amongst the stikery bushes found in them parts, he runned smak inta the moose what he was lookin fer.  Yup, the biggest, meanest bull moose found in the entire world and then sum.  Ol Tracker wasn’t sure he had nuff fire power ta bring that big ol critter down, but he figgered he cum that fer, he better give it a shot.

First off, he dun unloaded his rifle by pokin the barrel inta a deep pool of water and fired it off.  Corse the moose didn’t hear the shot cuz it was muffled by the water.  He did manage ta bag a nice samon, which he ate later in the day.  Next he perceeded ta load a load that would bring that big ol moose ta table.  He pored near all his powder down the barrel, then stuck about 10 round ball down, with only the first one havin a patch.  He was loaded fer moose fur sure and not just fer bar.

Then he capped her up and went ta sneeking right on up and under the nose of that big ol moose.  Now moose dun have eyes that can see out the side o they’s heads,. But no so much down under they’s noses and so Ol Tracker dun figered he was perty safe.  With the hammer cocked he poked that smoke pole right up an under that big ol mooses chin and pulled the trigger!  BLAM!!!!!

The rest is perty much same as any other killin o animals, cept this ol critter was so big.  It took Tracker purt neer a week ta clean it and git it ready to haul down to rondeevoo.  Meanwhiles all the other animals in the musk keg area was smelling the fresh kill and comin in ta git some fo themselves.

Ol Tracker aint no dummy, I’ll tell you, and I knowed him fer sum time and more time ta cum.  At first sight o a big ol grizz cummin his way, Tracker started gatherin sticks frum nearby alder bushes and made a big pile.  Then he flint and steeled a good fire and made that ol grizz run off.  This is when he cooked up an ait that samon he dun shot earlier.

As the fire died down, it weren’t long an Tracker was completely surrounded with grizz, woofs and smaller critters what eat meat.  So he went ta making the fire bigger.  This cauzed the critters ta moove back some, but no go away.  He made the fire bigger an bigger.

Perty soon it was to hot for him an the moose ta be next ta the fire so he hitched his hors up an dragged that moose away frum the fire heat.  But, then came those pesky woofs an grizzes closer yet.  So Tracker dun put more and more wood on that there fire.  Soon the vicious critters was far off an Tracker cud do more work as needed.

After a time, the fire died down sum and the critters had moved in closer.  So this time Tracker made up his mind ta head fur rondeevoo an git away frum these bad critters.  So he put his hose inta gear an it started ta drag that big ol moose down the trail.  Tracker put more wood on the fire and more wood and more wood an moore wood.  It was gittin mighty hot when he decided that would keep the bad critters offn his back whilst he made it back ta rondeevoo.

Back at rondeevoo, we was a hoopin an hollerin up a good ol time.  It was shinin time like never afor and we was makin the best we cud of it.  When one ol boy looked to the north sky an said he ain’t never seed a sky so perdy as that.  An we dun looked up an saw the most amazin thing we cud ever have seen.  The sky was lit up wit blu an green an orange an yeller an ever other culler in the world.  It was perty.

Then we heard Ol Tracker a cummin draggin the biggest giganticus moose we dun ever saw in all the parts aroun.  We wuz happy ta seed him and he the same fer us an we danced and drank and danced and hooted and drank sum mo.  After awhile he dun told us the tale you already heard and I have tried ta recall best I cude fer you.

We sure is glad Ol Tracker made it back ta rondeevoo in time, cuz we wuz just about ta git our things gathered an head back ta trappin cuntry.  We wuz glad he brought that big ol moose with him too, cuz it sure made fer sum good eatin, an we only left the bones fer to tell bout it afor we left fer trappin.

Bears Butt

04-05-06