Seems pert neer like yisterday a bunch of us wuz up near the Sweet Lake area tryin ta make meat.  All us wuz dun out meat  in the camp an needed sum perty quick like.  The squaws wuz makin us feel down right not gud, cuz we dun runned outa meat.  So here we is.

You knows this plenty by now what we is dang good at shootin our smoke poles an all and we is about ta show how gud we is one more time on this here hunt.  They be a heap o game in this here spot we is campin an we knowed the meat pole is gonna be full right quick like.  Whenst we dun gitted ourselves outten the bedroll the next morn, we dun looked up at all the stars what wuz out an we dun said what a beaut of a day wuz ahead.  They wuzzn’t one cloud coverin any stars an there wuz a sure chill in the air what wuz tellin us winter wuz a comin, but not too soon yet.

I kin see them stars in my mind right now when I close my eyes.  The whole of the sky what I cud see with both of my eyes at the same time wuz filled to the top with stars.  Big stars, little stars and stars what cud bearly be seed.  Sum stars put tagither even made designs an such if ya used yer magination sum.  Oh, it wuz perty.  An offin in the distant we cud heer us a cyote what wuz howlin an barkin.  Dang nice place ta be on such a fine morn as that.

We lit up a fire an got us sum coffee brewed an wuz sittin waitin fer light enough ta git ta huntin.  Kint shoot in the dark ya know, an them critters kin see whenst we kint see an so they wud skeedadle as we dun comed down the trail.  So, there we sit talkin an drinkin our coffee whilst waitin.

Dry Dog, he dun said he gonna kill him a big ol buck what wuz up on that there mountain an he be back in camp an have it hung right perty like on the meat pole first afor any body else cud be back ta camp with theys buck.  Well, whenst he dun said that it brought a good stir frum the rest of us, what wuz huntin an we dun made us some bets on who gonna be doin that first afor anybody else.

Twernt too long a time an it wuz pert neer light nuff ta see, but not pert neer light nuff ta see yous sights.  Iffn ya goes huntin, an ya kint see yer sights, ya might as well not be huntin, cuz ya aint gonna be killin no bucks.  All ya gonna do is skeer them off.  So we wait a bit longer.  Magpie dun cums ta the fire an sez he has sum room in his wagon iffn anybody wants ta  git huntin where he is gonna go.  An a bunch dun gits up an heads fer his wagon with all theys possibles an guns an such.  Dry Dog, he says he is gonna ride out his own way, by hisself an that will be just dandy with the rest of us.

I dun got me a wagon too an I ask if they be anybody else what wants ta ride with me, cuz I’m gonna go ta a far off ridge an hunt.  My far off place ta hunt is opposite direction frum  where Magpies wagon is goin.  Pert soon my wagon is full o mountain men,  possibles an such an they is ready ta git gone.  When I git up on my wagon, I kin see it be light nuff ta see my sights sure nuff.  An off we goed.

Twerent long down the trail we start ta see the game what we dun cumed for, but none is bucks, an we dun comed ta git bucks.  Aint gonna be no girl deer on our meat pole fer sure.  That there morn it wuz such a perty morn ta say the least an soon the sun wuz cumin in our eyes an makin it hard ta see if they be any bucks er not around.  So I pull the reigns an we angle aside the sun light.  We kin see perty good now an we start ta see bucks.  They wuz far off, so we dun sneeked up ta git closer fer a shot.  Them bucks wuz smart an they dun gits outa there fast like an we did not even git ta shoot.  So offn we goed ta see ifn we kin find sum more.

Well, we made a big ol circle in our drivin the wagon an pert soon we is back ta camp.  No bucks in my wagon this morn.  We dun feel it be a gud time ta have us sum lunch.  So Many Steps he dun starts up the fire right gud an we start ta cookin up sum grub.  Bout the time we be eatin, in cums Magpie an his wagon an we is all surprised like, when his wagon dun got no bucks in it.  His wagon always has bucks in it when he dun comes back ta camp.  Not so this here time.  An he an the rest join in ta eatin with us.

We is dun eatin soon nuff an here cummed Dry Dog ridin in on his horse, an it be pert plain he dun got no buck neether.  We all go ta talkin bout what bucks we did dun seed an  how many took shots, but none wuz took even tho there wuz a heap o bucks seed.  Dry Dog, he dun cooks hisself up some vittles an we talk sum more about what next ta do.  Dry Dog he says he is gonna ride up a differnt way till it gits dark an then he be cumin back ta camp.  I plan out my wagon ride fer the same part of the day an so duz Magpie.  All what rode wid me an my wagon this here morn is gonna go wid me agin, an same with Magpies wagon load.

Onst Dry Dog gits dun eatin, we load up the wagons an head on out.  This time sure, we be cumin back ta camp wid bucks.  Dry Dog mounts up an heads his way an we all goed our way.  After a long ride in the wagon that afternoon the sun it is goin down an we turn round cuz by the time we git back ta camp it is gonna be dark.  Cummin back down the trail what we just cummed up we is seein all sort of deer, but no bucks.  Then when it is pert neer too dark ta see yer sights we start ta see bucks, but they is jumpy an we kint git no gud shots.  This goes on till it is too dark ta see ours sights so we head back ta camp at a quicker trot.

Back at camp we seed Magpie an his wagon dun got there afirst before us.  But he dun not got no bucks in his wagon, just like me an my wagon.  Twernt long, here cums Dry Dog ridin in an across his saddle lays a big ol buck, what Dry Dog dun kilt!  We is all happy like an we help him tie it ta the meat pole.  He is a happy mountain man among mountain men an we is happy too.  He dun showed us who gonna bring in a big ol buck first ta camp an sure nuff, he dun showed us but gud.  We noticed one perculiar thing about his buck tho, when we wuz hangin it up in the meat pole an that wuz it wuz soakin wet an we aint had no rain ner nuttin.  So we asked ol Dry Dog bout that very thing.  Why is the buck what you dun bringed in ta camp all wet?

Dry Dog, he perseeds ta tell us his story an it goed sumpin like this here:  Well I wuz ridin down the trail all lonesome like lookin left an right ta see ifn I kin see a buck.  I wuz seein lots of girl deer, but I aint huntin ta git me a girl deer, I’m after a buck.  I cummed round a corner in the trail an there stands this here buck.  Big as big kin be.  So I hol up on my hoss an step of wid my rifle an take aim real careful like.  When ol trusty went off with a bang the smoke filled the air an hung right there not letting me see zactly where my ball dun goed.  But I dun heared it hit the buck real hard like.  When the smoke cleared, the buck wuz gone, but I cud heared it up the hill in the thick trees.  I perceed ta reload ol trusty, an as I’m bout dun reloadin, down the hill cums my buck an jumps head long right inta a pond o water what wuz longside the trail!  I kint believe what I wuz seein.  I dun thought I dun kilt that buck an he wuz up the hill all dead like, but he dun cummed back ta life an jumped right inta that there pond.  Then it goes ta staggerin an movin towards the edge of the water an then tips over dead as dead.

I sure wuz glad what that buck dun commed over ta the edge, cuz otherwise I wooda had ta git ta swimming ta git him outta that there pond, an ya knowed I kint swim so gud as ta be draggin no big ol buck wid me.  An so, that is how he dun gitted hisself all wet like.

We had ourselves a gud ol time wid that story fer a long time after that.  Even tho he dun winned the bettin an bringed in the first big ol buck fer the meat pole, we dun figgered he might have part of one of them retriever type dogs in his blood.  And even now, whenever we dun ride passed that there pond we still talk about ol Dry Dog an his big ol buck jumpin in it.

Bears Butt

June 28, 2011

As I recollect the young man  had a nack fer doin things with his right hand holdin the hammer,  an then the next time ya seed him he had the hammer in his left hand doin the same thing as when he had it in his right.  Sumpin wuz bad wrong with what I wuz seein, but I cudn’t figger it out right then.  But either way, when he wuz hammerin an holdin the nail, he aint never dun hit the hand ner fingers what wuz holdin the nail.  So, how he dun it is still a big puzzlement ta me.

As he growed sum, folks got ta sort a faverin him ta git jobs dun an all.  Mostly cuz they liked ta watch him doin what normal folks wud do with one hand, only he cud do it with either hand an it wuz sorta fun ta watch an all.  He cud ride a bull what wuz in a pen an hold on perty tight an when the bull had him all figgered out an wuz bout ta twist him ta the right ta toss him off, he cud switch his holdin hand whilst in mid air an when that bull dun hit the ground knowin he wud fly right offn his back, he wud still be stayin on.  Then the bull got all twisted up in its head cuz it knowed he wuz holdin on with the right hand when he started ta jump, but when his feet hit the ground he dun had holt with the left hand.  Same with them hosses, they wud git all twisted up in the head fer the same thing,  an pert near ever time this young man wud win out over the animal he wuz ridin an the animal wud be toted off ta the factery fur makin inta eatin meat.

I dun heerd too he dun played a game where you took a stick an smacked a little ball around until the little ball fell inta a hole in the ground.  Sounds like a perty dum game ta me, but sum folks played it an he wuz one.  Anyway, he got perty gud at that too.  Most folks what play that game can hit the ball ok, but it sum times wud  go to the right when theys wuz tryin ta make it go straight or to the left sum.  An it worked the other ways  to  fer others.  Ifn theys wants the ball ta go ta the right sum, they wud hit it with the stick an it wud go ta the left quite a bit an mess them all up an they wud lose.

This man wud want the ball ta go ta the left, so he wud hold the stick and stand on the right side o that little ball and smack it hard with the stick an the ball wud go ta the left just like he wanted.  Then when he wanted the ball ta go ta the right, he wud hold the stick hard and fast an stand on the left side o that little ball and smack it , sendin the little thing just like he wanted ta the right.  Dangest thing ya ever cud see.  Corse I am just tellin ya what I heerd, cuz I aint never dun seed nobody play a game like that afor, but heerd he did and dun perty good at winnin an all.

What I kin say about his goin from holdin in the right hand an then holdin in the left is when he dun shoots his gun.  I aint never seed  nuttin like it afor or after.

We wuz shootin fer the big prize onest up near where older mountain men dun cashed theys plews when they had too many ta keep track of, an wuz still doin theys doins in the mountains an didn’t want ta carry all them plews with them.  The day wuz bright an sunny an we wuz all tryin ta do good at shootin little bird size balls of hardened clay, what sum body wuz throwin hard inta the air fer us.  We wuz usin our front stuff scatter guns an I might as well a been usin my long gun, cuz I kint kill no clay ball bein throwed like that.

This ol boy wuz knockin them there balls outn the air reglar like, an folks what wuz watchin, an sum what wuz shootin, wuz yellin fowl play an cheatin stuff at him fer doin what he wuz doin.  Corse I didn’t know no better so I just watched with both my eyes just amazed at what they wuz seein.

The man what wuz throwin the balls, wud wait till the shootin man wud say “Throw the bird, I’m ready ta kill it dead”!  Then the man wud throw it hard ta his right, iffn he wuz standin ta the left of the shootin man.  He wud throw it hard to the left if he wuz standin to the right of the shootin man.  But in ever case the shootin man had ta say, “Throw the bird, I’m ready ta kill it dead”, before he wud throw it.

Theys wuz a lot of us shootin fer the big prize that day, an ta say “Throw the bird, I’m ready ta kill it dead” wuz makin fer a perty long day an all.  So the throwin man settled fer the shooter ta jus say “Pull yer head out thrower man an throw it”!  That has been tradition since that day to this. An over a long speel of livin we all knowed things tend ta speed up with time an now I heerd most folks what shoot those little clay birds are down ta jus sayin “Pull”!  It means the same thing.

Sos I watch as this here man dun stands on the far left side of the shootin place an yells fer the thrower man ta throw that ball an out it goes just a flying hard.  The shooter man has the scatter gun held tight in his right shoulder and swings fast at the ball, an pulls the trigger with a bang and the bird blows all up ta smitherins.  Perty shot an kill.  Then, he duz what no other man kin do, he takes the scatter gun an switches over ta the left shoulder an gits hisself all settled in.  Then he yells a second time fer the thrower man ta throw the ball hard, which is promptly dun an agin he swings ta the ball an blows it outn the air real perty like.

The other shooters are yellin that ya gotta shoot ever shot frum the same shootin stance an no switchin, but the rules man he dun said ta quiet down an jus shoot best ya kin.  Jus cuz ya bein outshot by this man what kin switch like that  don’t mean they is any cheatin goin on.  An so the rest of that day we watched as ever time he stood up ta the next shootin spot, he wud shoot the clay bird outn the air first with the right shoulder holding the butt end of that scattergun, an next with the left.  An even tho the rules man said what he dun said, the other shooters wuz yellin fowl an usin lingo what wud a made a preecher frum east of the missip gather his flock an git outa there.  An corse the rules man paid no tention ta theys yellin.  I reckon too that theys yellin wuz makin them feel better bout theys own lack a shootin theys scatterguns as good as this here ol boy wuz shootin.

That didn’t bother this ol boy what wuz shootin good.  He wud jus turn round after shootin an blowin those clay birds outn the air with such ease, an smile a big ol smile like only he cud do.  He dun won that big ol prize that there day an all the shooters had ta admit he dun it hisself, even tho sum still think there shud be sumpin in the rules what says ya kint do that switchin stuff.

Sure nuff at the next rondeevoo, the talkin stick dun cummed out an Blair wuz called ta the fire light.  An after a little story tellin, much like this here story dun already said, the stick wuz raised an then lowered ta the top of each of his shoulders and these words wuz said, “Wherever mountain men shall meet, Blair, you shall be known as “Switch Back”!  An the crowd agreed and much yellen perceeded ta drown out the howls of the wolves, which also agreed.

Well that is how I seed it all cum bout, so since this here is my story, I reckon that is zackly how it wuz.

Bears Butt

June 19, 2011

AHHH, the Bible.  Words of truth and wisdom.  Mans transgressions and courageous acts of near fantacy proving the existence of Him and His powers.  “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  And the earth was without form……” .  That is how it begins and so this story.

In the beginning a Mountain man was formed, but without true form, for he was young and without form.  There was some character, as you will see, but truly that character has changed as time has gone on.

Rondeevoo sum time back.  Way back ta the beginning as I recollect.  All the folks what wuz there wuz havin the most fun of times.  They be lots an lots of whoopin and hollerin frum daybreak til almost daybreak agin.  I’d give up a heap o plews ta have bin there wit em.  I weren’t there see, cuz I wuzn’t quite borned a mountain man yet.  So ya see this here cuss is recollectin a story bout a mountain man whut wuz just about ta be borned a mountain man.

Seems this here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet,  dun cumed out o pert near no where in particular, beins he wuz at this here rondeevoo.  He dun been fightin a big ol battle sum place outside the confinds of this great nation of ours.  Seems sum dun got theys hairs all riled up an wanted ta take over sum body elses stuff, an ground,  an how they wuz a livin.  So this here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet,  went on over ta that place an kicked sum rear end.  An then he cummed back ta find hisself at this here rondeevoo.

He wuz right with the rondeevoo program too an with all the other rondeevoo folks laughin an tellin tall stories (not lies mind you cuz mountain men never lie) an havin sum cold drink an all.  Well this here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, wuz tellin his story bout bein where he just dun cummed frum an they wuz believin his story wuz true an all,  an the merriment that he dun cummed back ta rondeevoo wuz makin them all happy an such.  This here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, really liked what he dun called, “Annie Green Springs” an It cummed in a tallish green bottle with a cork whut cud be wiggled offn the bottle real easy like an made the contents real sweet.  He dun drinked a whole lot o that stuff cuz that wuz what he wanted ta do.

One night at this here rondeevoo he wuz doin what sum called “tipi creepin”.  That is when yous goes frum one tipi ta the nixt tryin ta find all yer friends what is at rondeevoo, but you aint seed em yet.  Well, fer ever tipi he dun creeped to, he wud have hisself another round o that Annie stuff.  Well that Annie stuff has sumpin in it what makes yer legs git all wiggley an hard ta stand, an yer head all gits spinnin an all.  Well, that there is nuther story.

This here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, wuz tipi creepin with the best, an by that I mean,  he dun had a partner wid im what I kint amember what his name wuz fer sure so I am gonna say it wuz a feller with a Christen name o Colby Maughn.  We dun heared a heap about ol Colby frum this here mountain man I bin talkin bout fer years, but we figger he is just a maginary friend that goes with him now an agin.  So, since my memory is not all that good, I gotta put this here Colby feller in this here story, cuz my odds is perty good that it wuz Colby fer sure.  There are a whole heap o stories bout this Colby guy an I plan ta tell ya bout sum one o these days cumin soon.

Back ta the tipi creepin…This here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, an this here Colby feller they looked at each other an neither wuz wearin no clothes whut looked like mountain men, but they wuz at rondeevoo just the same,  an all theys friends what wuz there wuz all wearin buckskins an loin clothes an such an wuz lookin real good like mountain men duz.  These two creepers had ta git themselves sum mountain man clothes er might find theyselves In sum heap o trouble.

They dun creeped inta a tipi an this here tipi friend has sum tanned up skins what he wuz tryin ta git rid of.  This here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, dun talked this friend outa one o them there skins an tried it on his head like a hat.  Everbody nowed that mountain men wears hats made frum critter skins. This here skin wuz case skinned an tanned up real good, with the critters hair still on the outside all shined up perty like.  The tipi friend wuz all fer tradin this here skin fer a drink offn that Annie jug an they laughed an had a good time tellin tales an such fer a long time.

You probably knowed what cased skinned is, but case ya don’t I will try an splain best I kin.  Ya see case skinned means ya start ta skin the critter frum the leg an tail part o the critter an ya careful like skin all the hide offn the critter down ta his nose, bein real careful not ta cut no holes in the hide an makin sure ta pull the front feet thru the hide careful too, an then ya cut off the ears, eyes, an whiskers, an nose in such good fashion that when you is dun an turns the critters hide right side out when you is dun, it looks just like the critter still had his body left in, but the body is dun gone.  Hope that makes a heap of sents ta you, cuz I kint think o no more way ta tell ya.

After jawin fer a gud part o the night time, this here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, an his maginary Colby friend, dun decided that since the tipi friend, whut traded a few horns offn the Annie jug fer the case skinned hat,  cudn’t git up no more on accounta he dun had wiggly legs an all, that they wud just be on theys way ta do more tipi creepin.

They dun wiggly legged theys selves down the trail ta the next tipi they wuz gonna creep inta an as they duz, the friend inside the tipi dun looks up an suprized like he says “Muskrat”!  Well, this mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, looks inta the friends eye cross the fire inside o that there tipi an says “Yip”!

Any body what bin ta rondeevoo knows what cums next.  Ya see that there case skinned hat that wuz on top o the mountain man, what wuzzn’t yets’, head wuz a skinned out muskrat.  An the openin on the open part o the cased skin ain’t too big, an so it sits top the mountain man, what wuzzn’t yets’, head perty high like bov his ears,  an the nose of that there cased skinned critter wuz near ta make the whole hat look sorta pointy like.

The friend in that there tipi, what sawed the mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, cumin inta his lodge looked up an saw, NOT the mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, but the pointy little hat on his head an he dun recognized the cased skinned critter as the muskrat what it wuz an he dun said what cummed outa his mouth first off…muskrat!

The mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, an his maginary friend Colby an this here friend in the lodge, they dun sat fer sum time laughin an drinkin the rest of that there Annie jug an they dun had they selves a good time sure.  One thing that happened in that there lodge fer sure wuz a namin that there night,  an wherever mountain men shall meet, this here mountain man, what wuzzn’t yet, but is now, forever shall be called “Muskrat”!

And that’s how I knowed this here story ta go an that is just the way it wuz an is.

I jus bet too that ifn ever at rondeevoo we dun seed that ol hoss what Muskrat calls Colby, there be a naming cuz maginary friends has ta have a name too, an Colby just aint gonna be it in the mountain man world.

Bears Butt

June 19, 2011

On a trip to central California a few years back, Sherry and I found ourselves at cousin Mike and Ilenes place.  Staying there while we were visiting was my Aunt LeOra.  A very lovely lady who carries herself with pride and dignity.  She is very well educated and a kind and gentle soul.  She has worked hard her entire 97 years and raised her children with respect and caring as well.  She is very well liked by all who have ever met her.  She is graceful and very beautiful in appearance.  Spirited like only a few.  A strong belief in God and all that He stands for.

When one speaks of Aunt LeOra visions of grandeur and grace fills the mind.  Kindness and caring, sharing and comfort all come into play as well.  Aunt LeOra is everything a child looks for in a parent and a grandchild looks for in a grandparent.  The perfect mold of what a person on earth should be..well almost…there was this ONE time….let me tell you about it.

Our visit began with a night spent with another cousin, Marlin.  Marlin is a daughter from my Uncle John and Aunt Irma.  Marlin lives in a very respectful neighborhood nestled in and around a very nice golf course near where this story began.  Marlin was happy Sherry and I were coming out to California, because Willardites NEVER leave Willard and yet here we were.  She was so pleased she even went out and purchased me a new set of “Red Flannel Underwear”, an had them hanging  outside her home as a welcome flag when we drove up!  You may think that was not a very nice thing to do, but for this here mountain man that was about the nicest thing anyone could have done.  Sort of a common flag of welcome home!  We all know that mountain men with any dignity at all wear red flannel underwear and those that don’t have either not found any, or have wrought there way into the savage ways of loin cloths and other such savage wearings.

I thank you very much cousin Marlin for such a very kind jesture and gift!  I wear them  at every rendezvous and on the deer hunts and winter outings I go to.  They are high quality and very warm.

Back to Aunt LeOra.

From Marlins home we advanced to Ilene’s for continued vacation fun.  Finding Aunt LeOra there was such a treat.  We had no idea she would be there and thought that visiting her home was going to be a part of our adventure.  But, even though we did go and visit her “Paradise” before our trek took us toward home, we had a WONDERFUL visit with her at Ilenes’.  A longer visit than perhaps SHE wanted.  You see, the Willarditeness never leaves a Willardite and when we found ourselves deep in the bowels of California, surrounded by Californiaites we knew we were in for a great time.  We have all read the warnings on several of the items we purchase that says something like: “Has been known to cause ‘some dreadful thing’ in people in California”.  Well perhaps this story should have come with a warning.

One evening we had had a wonderful barbeque meal and several cold drinks and we were laughing and cutting up.  Even had a visit from Sir Butt.  The conversation got around to mountain man things and eventually out came the Red Flannel underwear that Marlin had given me!  I politely asked gracious Aunt LeOra if she would like to try them on.

“Oh My”! , she said with a gasp, “A LADY does NOT wear such clothing”!  Ok.  I’m Ok with that.  After all it was rude of my asking, but then that is just my character.  And I might add, she is the same lady who told her daughter Ilene they would have to take her burial garments back to the store because they were “Dry Clean Only”!  How could I have been so rude to her?  It must have been the beer.  Yes!  The beer!

We went to bed on a cheerful note and slept well.  The neighborhood police had surrounded the entire block and made sure the Willardites stayed locked up.

The next morning out in Mike and Ilene’s back yard (such a beautiful place it is, with squirrels, birds of all California kinds and  fragrent flowers abounding) I sat , in my red flannels, sipping a cup of MoJo and just plain enjoying the beautiful morning.  When suddenly, the sliding glass door bursts open and there, LO AND BEHOLD,  stood my gracious Aunt LeOra with nothing on but my Red Flannel Underwear!  GASP!!!!  A LADY does NOT wear such clothing!!!!!!  But there she was, the same gracious, caring, loving person actually WEARING that set of red flannel underwear.  She looked pretty good in them too.

Well, you know me!  I’m not afraid to tell you I look pretty dang good in my red flannel underwear, and so the two of us must look doubly good in our red flannel underwear, so pictures were taken.

NOW, before you get to see the picture of the two of us, you must swear to secrecy not to tell the bishop of her ward, nor the ladies of the ward,  or anyone else that might take this as her falling from her well deserved pedestal and cause her grief.  She is too sweet to do that to.  Let’s just say we two Willardites brought wrath and uneasiness to the California Natives and caused some of her medications to fail.

Ladies and Gentlemen (say that with the tone and enunciation of a sports casters voice)!  I now present you with Aunt LeOra and the Bears Butt! (same voice)

What a wonderful, great sport she is!

Bears Butt

June 17, 2011

High In the Crawford mountains we wuz an there be only two of us what had guns.  We wuz tryin ta make meat fer these two what dun called themselves hunters.  Boy did we try hard.  There wuz quite a bunch of us what wuz lookin fer the biggest muley bucks that wuz on that their mountain.  An we wuz spotin them too.  The problem wuz gittin close nuff fer a good shot.  We dun rode the hoss’ down a good trail when I spots this one big ol buck.   We all gits off our horses and is speaking soft like about how we wuz gonna git close enough.  Frank (later to be called Gattlin) said, heck I kin hit that critter frum here.  An he layed his rifle across the saddle of the horse and sqoze off a shot.

I spect that the ball only made it about half way ta that big old buck, cuz it just stood there wonderin why some body would wake him up with all that noise.  An it went right back ta doin what it wuz afor the shot.  I reminded Frank he best be gittin reloaded, when Fat Duck decides he too wuz a good nuff shot ta make that big old buck his.  BOOM!  An agin, the buck just stood there all still like with a puzzled look on its face.

Fat Duck started ta reload fast like an Frank wuz pert near dun reloadin his self.  I said, hey let’s git back on the horses and ride up above that big ol buck an maybe we kin git closer.  The big ol buck had dun started ta walk up the hill.  Reckon it dun had about all the disturbin it wanted fer one day.

We loaded up an started fer the top of the hill in the direction we last dun saw that big ol buck.  As we rode around the bend, there standin in the trail wuz that big ol buck.  He wuz about as close as a big ol buck will let you git too.  Bout maybe 10 yards or so.  My measurin guessin aint much good so it cud of bin closer.  Anyway that big ol buck wuz just as shook an surprised as us ta see us in the same trail an so close, he dun twirled around an started ta runnin outa there.  Fat Duck, he is a quick one, an he dun got offn the horse and capped up his long gun fer a shot.  As he wuz a aimin so duz Frank git offn his hoss an is cappin up.  The buck wuz a runnin real fast like an just about over the top of the hill when old Fat Ducks gun barked out.  Corse all we cud see wuz the bucks horns by the time the ball dun got that far.  An the buck wuz gone.  Frank never did git a shot.  Sos, Fat Duck now has ta load while gallopin up the trail.  We needed ta git up the trail fast like so we kin see which way this big ol buck wuz headin.

Wouldn’t cha nowed it, just as we top the hill, there stands that same big ol buck right off the side of the trail.  Fat Duck ain’t all loaded up just yet an Frank he piles offn his hoss and rounds under it’s nose fer a shot.  The buck is off an runnin agin but it’s still perty close like, maybe 20 yards this time when Franks gun bellows out smoke an fire!  The ball goes just under the buck and bites into the snow.  Fat Duck he dun loaded up an is offn his horse trying like the dickins ta git a  cap on his cap lock, but the buck dun goes over another hill afor he kin git a shot.

We all quick like decide where this big ol buck is headed an we sayz if we kin git you gunners over ta the other side, there is a good chance that big ol buck will run right inta ya an ya kin git im fer sure this time.  So all fast like we is loaded up an Frank now hasta load while gallopin around the hillside.  We hurry as fast as kin be with the horses we dun got, an Frank gits all loaded up time we reach the spot we wuz thinkin about.

Comin down the trail still goin perty fast like, there stands that big ol buck, all tuckered out frum his runnin.  Both Fat Duck an Frank dun unload themselves frum theys hosses an perceed ta git ready fer shootin.  Fat Duck is quicker than Frank with cappin up an bears down on this here big ol buck.  Ta me it looks like Fat Duck is gonna have his meat pole filled up sure this time.  Fat Ducks gun belches out a huge cloud of smoke and fire burns the hair offn that big ol buck, but the ball goes just over its back an plows a mean ditch in the snow.  Fat Duck is beside hisself fer missin.

Meantime ol Frank he dun found hisself a good sittin spot ta aim an he too is pointin his rifle steady at that big ol buck what is just standin there about 5 yards out.  Frank cuts loose with a belcher of a boom an just like Fat Ducks the fire burns the hair offn that bucks shoulder and the ball dun goes right zacktly where Fat Ducks ball dun hit.  It’s a mighty calm now as the two hunters dun missed four times each at that big ol buck an the buck dun walks away never ta be seed by us agin.

It wuz perty citin fer all us what wuz watchin as the commotion wuz goin on, an the horses wuz glad we wuzzn’t gonna run em fast no more fer awhile.

Golly cum ta think about it an all that wuz a perty gud time what we wuz havin.  But the goal here is ta git Fat Duck an Frank sumpin ta be eatin this here cumin winter an we aint dun it yet.

Later on we cum cross another big buck.  Not near as big as the first one, but big no less.  Fat Duck kint see it an it’s just standin there about 3 yards out.  Maybe Fat Duck just wuz lookin through the horns, cuz it wuz just standin there facin him.  Finally he dun sees it an fires a quick shot.  I reckon he dun fired from the hip, cuz the ball hit the snow right twinxt it’s front feet an off it goed.  Frank an Tracker went ta cut off the big buck by goin ta theys left, an Fat Duck an the rest of us stayed on its trail.  Sudden like, we seed it cumin up the hill from Frank an Trackers way an Fat Duck lays down another screen of smoke an fire.  I gotta say in Fat Ducks behaf that the buck wuz a bit fer out this time an runnin, cuz I didn’t see no fire burn no fur off his side this time, but the ball went over the bucks back an probably still is flyin.  We never did see that big ol buck agin.

Still, all in all, we dun seed sum pritty big bucks an them two hunters wuz tryin like ever thing ta fill theys meat poles plenty.

My memory aint what is wuz a while ago an this here hunt went on fer many days.  I’m tryin ta give ya the low down of it all with this true story afore ya git tired an fall ta sleep.  So stay ta readin it cuz ya aint gonna wanna miss nutin.

On another mountain we dun seed another big ol buck an it wuz layin down all quiet like.  Fat Duck thinks he kin ride down there an put a ball right twinxt it’s eyes an I agreed.  Frank figgered that with Fat Duck cumin to it, it wud see er hear him an git up an cum up the hill to a saddle in the hill an that is where he wud be waitin.

So Frank is workin his way ta the saddle an me an Fat Duck we ride on down the ridge an git above the buck.  Fat Duck is sure ta bag this buck, cuz it’s only about 5 yards offn the trail an layin down sleepin.  Fat Duck is a sneaky guy an eases over the edge of the rock ledge an there lays that big ol buck.  Fat Duck has his cap on the nipple and the hammer is back.  The buck spots him an stands up givin him a fer sure broad side shot.  The buck is lookin at him an them horns is summpin else, I’ll tell ya fer sure.  One big ol buck what has horns that one side pert near touches its backside tail as it’s standin there lookin.  Again the rifle bellows out a big ol BOOM an smoke fills the air, but this time the ball goes right smack dab twinxt those big ol horns and plows another furrow in the snow behind.  The buck trots off down the trail ta git away.

As Fat Duck is cumin back ta the horses, he dun got his gun held by the front sight end of the barrel an I say ta him it looked like you dun made a field goal on that there buck an Fat Duck said,  “Iffn I had a crick neer by I’d throw this here gun right in it”!

I had to think on that awhile cuz why wud you throwd your onliest gun in a crick when you is out tryin ta make meat?  I aint figgered that out yet.  It took me sum time afor I gave up tryin ta figger that out an went back ta talkin ta Fat Duck.  Mean time Frank dun cummed down ta where we wuz an we went ta planning what next ta do.

Fat Duck didn’t find no crick so he dun loaded up agin an off we goed.

Twernt long an we seed that same last buck agin only this time it was a way long ways away, bout 50 yards.  Fat Duck has a determined look prity good now an he dun aimed the bestest he cud an he put that buck flat out an on his meat pole fer sure this time!  Check out this picture of Fat Duck an that big ol buck!

Well, only one hunter left ta bag a big ol buck now an that be Frank!

It wuz a nuther day an me an Hunter an Frank wuz ridin up the trail when sudden as all the other big ol bucks there wuz one.  Right there in a minute it wuz an standin still as kin be just lookin at us.  Frank gits off his hoss an sneaks closer fer the shot.  He gits about 6 yards frum the buck and starts ta aimin.  BOOM!  An smoke fills the calm morning air ta a point we cudnt see the buck.  When the smoke final moves away, the buck wuz sum 10 yards away.  I figgered the ball dun pushed it that far, but there wernt no hole in it an it wuz still on its feet.  Frank had to scuffle back ta the hoss ta git more shootin supplies an he did an got his gun all loaded up with a big ol load this time.  He is determined he dun gonna put a hole in that big ol buck fer sure.

He sneaks up closer an when he gits about 6 yards frum that big ol buck agin he lets that ball fly an he misses the shot.  Frank aint nun too happy bout now an he dun comes back ta the hoss ta git more powder an ball.  Meantime that big ol buck walks off an me an Hunter watch as it goes.  There is only one way we kin git that buck now.  An I say ta Frank, we need ta git the horses on over ta that ridge over there an ambush that big ol buck when it dun cums up an crosses that there saddle right there.

I reckon Frank aint listenin too gud right now cuz he is cussin sumpin an sayin stuff like his gun aint workin, an he needs a drink, an the sights is off an he needs nuther drink an stuff like that.

Well, onest he is loaded, let me say that agin, onest his gun is all loaded up we git back on the horses an ride ta the far ridge.  The one the big ol buck is headed toward an we git there as quiet as we kin an we git in a spot where we kin most likely see the big ol buck cum over the saddle an we sits down.

After while, I sees the big ol bucks horns cumin up the hill, right like we figgered inta the saddle.  Frank gits all ready an I remind him he is shootin down hill an ta aim a bit low.  The buck dun cums perfect as perfect kin be an Frank puts that ball perfect into it’s heart!  An now Frank has his meat pole filled an we kin all go home an have ourselves a good winter of eatin ven.  Take a gander at Franks big ol buck whut he dun took on this here hunt.

At rondeevoo the next year the talkin stick dun cummed out an a rendition of this here story wuz dun told ta all what wuz there an then Frank wuz called ta the fire an the man  with the talkin stick dun said these here words, “Frank, we dun heared the story about how you dun kilt yer big ol buck last year an we dun decided without anyone havin nothing other ta say, that from now on an where ever mountain men shat meet you shall be knowed as ‘Gattlin’”!  An that is how that all came about.

Bears Butt

June 13, 2011

Conner  wanted to go with the ol Bears Butt out on the trappin line one day.  It wuz pretty good weather considerin it wuz cold an all, but I decided he shud go an learn sum bout trappin anyway.

Well, I always carry my pistol just in case I dun git a critter what I didn’t want ta kitch an I kint  take care of it with a stick.  Sum time ya gotta take a chance an shoot the critter, even if hostiles might hear the shot an cum ta take yer scalp.

I dun worned Conner bout the chance we dun cum inta hostile territory an that my traps wuz deep in there quite a bit.  Well he still said he dun wanted ta cum and be with Bears Butt.  I wuz ok with all of that.

Here we wuz the next day an we loaded up the horses and wagon with all our stuff what we wuz gonna need.  Corse I always takes my trusty pistol.  We had all the normal things what we needed too.  Traps, lots of feed for the hosses, sum jerky an water, fer us.  We wuz set ta go.

Loaded up we dun headed out.  Took us quite sum time ta git ta the trappin spot, but the sun wuz still high an we had sum time ta check what traps wuz out there.  As we gits ta chickin traps we wuz not gitin many plews.  Seems maybe the weather had em denned up er sumpin.  Anyways we keeped on chickin the traps and pert soon we wuz dun.  Havin been a perty long day so far an we still had us a heap of a ride ta git back ta camp, we turned the horses round and headed that direction.

I wuznt too worried nun about the hostiles cuz the weather wuz a bit nippy an I figgered they wood have theys heads in theys lodges all hunkered down an all.  So what I mean by all of that is I hadn’t bin watchin fer nun of em.  Corse the way it all turned out there twernt nun anywayz.

Ol Conner says he wanted ta take a little break frum all this trappin an travlin so we pulled up short and tied the critters down.  I broke us out sum jerky an we begin ta talk sum.  He had a heap o questions about why the plews wuz not so many an how the weather wuz an all.  Then he spots my trusty ol pistol.  Kin I look at that there pistol sum?

Sure you kin look at it son.  An I pulled it outa its hidin spot an handed it to im.  He aint never seed a pistol like this here one an he is wide eyed an a lookin real close at it.  I asked him if he dun ever seed one like it afor an corse he says no.  Well, I asked him if he dun ever shot a pistol afor an he tells me he aint.  So I say lets be shootin this here one right now.  I’ll show ya the ropes an you can shoot er.

Sos I show him the deal about this here pistol real good.  An I tell him about how easy it is to point it all round the place without havin ta move his arm an such an how he cud git in a heap o trouble ifn he didn’t mind where it was a pointin.  An he says he understood all of that real good an he wuz ready ta try an shoot it.

Well we wuz gonna need sumpin ta shoot at what we cud see wheres his bullets wuz goin.  So I goes through my saddle pack an finds a fine targit what wood do real fine.  Then I walked the targit out about 25 yards an placed it on the ground sos ya cud see it real good.  Then I dun cummed back ta Conner an the hosses.

Next I showed Conner just how the pistol wuz loaded up an told him how it wuz just like loadin a long gun only this here had a way much shorter barrel than a long gun.  He said he dun knowed it had a lot shorter barrel than a long gun an that I wuzn’t teachin him nutin he didn’t already know about that there.  But he dun never shot a pistol afor an needed me ta strucked him good.

Sos after showin him how ta load it up, he dun loaded it up just like I said ta do it.  Then I showed him how ta aim it an said it wuz just like aimin a long gun, seppen it had a shorter barrel than a long gun an other then that it wuz pert near the same.  He just looked at me.  So I figgered he knowed that part already.

Well, now it is time ta shoot at that there targit.  He takes that pistol an he aims her pritty dang good an holds it steady and boom off it goes with a bang!  Corse I knowed he wuzn’t gonna hit that targit cuz it wuz so small, bout the size of a kettle pot lid,  an we walked down range an sure nuff he dun hit that targit right good.  Sos we goes back.

Now this here is my bestest pistol what I own an I kin shoot it perty gud an all.   I even hit a rabbit right in the eye at 20 yards onest an I wuz aimin at the eye, cuz that wuz all I cud see of that there rabbit.  But what I wuz about ta see I aint so sure I cud a done, but don’t ya go tellin Conner that now.  Hold yer tung.

Conner loads er up agin an takes careful as he cud aim an squeezes that there trigger just like afor an boom, off she goes.  Agin we walk down there and now they is two holes in that there targit!  Son of a gun, this boy dun is a natural shooter.  Well this here goes on fer a time an he dun shot a heap of times an ever time that there targit dun got a new hole in it.

I finally had ta call a stop ta all this here shootin an hittin, cuz it wuz high time we wuz on our way ta camp.  Besides we probably wuz wakin up them hostiles makin all our whoopin an gun shot sounds.  An the targit wuznt much ta shoot at no more either.  A few more shots an I doubt we cud see where the ball wuz dun strikin.

I reckon ol Conner will be shootin a pistol at the next rondeevoo.  Ifn not, maybe I got a last chance ta maybe win a shootin contest aginst them other mountain men.  Cuz I knowed beyond knowin he be shootin in the rondeevoo after this here next one.

Bears Butt

June 13, 2011

Twernt that long back I recall that Sydnie decided I wusn’t catchin  enough plews an I might be wastin too much time in the wilds.  It wuz gittin mighty close ta time fer rondeevoo with Ashley an the boys an I wuz gonna hafta kitch as many as I cud.  So, one day she said, Bears Butt, I think I need to show you how to trap more plews.  I’m always up fer catchin more plews and so I agreed.

Next morn she dun woked  up  an met me by the horses.  I dun already had em loaded with the gear what we wuz gonna need fer that day of trappin including lots of traps an stakes.  I dun loaded up a bunch cuz I weren’t real sure how many it wuz gonna take fer her to show me how it wuz dun.

We saddled up and skeedaddled out o camp and headed down the trail to the deep waters.  I dun had sum traps already set out there an there aint no sence not settin more near the same place.  There wuz plenty sign of plews out there and she knowed it.  Perty soon we wuz checkin my already set traps an we wuz doin perty good at kitchin sum.   I told her I dun set these here traps all by myself with no help frum her an lookee at how many plews we dun ketched already.  She said Bears Butt, I kin see you dun ketched sum, but it’s the traps what didn’t kitch no plews that you need ta knowed how to set next time.  This is what I’m here to show you.

Whenst we wuz all dun chickin all the traps what I had dun set afor, she said, hey let’s go over there a piece, cuz I dun think there is sum deep water what has sum plews in.  I looked over where she wuz lookin, but I cudn’t  see no deep water, heck I cudn’t see no water atol.  Where does she git this that there wuz sum deep water over there?  Well we rode on over there and afor long there it wuz, deep water fer sure.  I never ever wooda gone over there.

We git offn the horses an I goes to pull down sum traps an she says we only gonna need two traps Bears Butt, cuz there is only but two er maybe three plews here in this here deep water.  Corse that gits me wonderin how does she knowed there is only two or three plews in all this here deep water.  Sos I asks her how she dun thinks such sillyness.  Theres gotta be a heap more than just three plews in all this here deep water.  Bears Butt, lookee here at this here sign right down here on this here rock.  That tells me there is one plew right here.  Now look or there by that bush right there.  See that sign right there.  Corse I cudn’t see no sign from this far back, so I goes closer an shore nuff, there wuz sign, right like she said.  An then she said, so that there tells me there is two plews in this here deep water.  I goes ta lookin fer more sign, an I find one what looks sorta old like, but it wuz by sum runnin stream water what wuz leadin into the deep water an I tell her, here is sum sign what needs a trap by.

She cummed over an looks at the sign I wuz pointin at an sayz, Bears Butt, no wonder you don’t kitch more plews, you dun waste yer time an traps trappin where there wuz a plew, but that plew dun gone on an wont be back til next year this time.  Go ahead an set yer trap there, I got my two ta set.  Now listen up Bears Butt, when I git dun settin these here traps I’m gonna show you zacktly how I dun it soes you kin repeated it in future trap settins.

Well she dun did set them traps whilst I set mine an she cummed over to where I just got dun an says, Bears Butt, ya got the jaw up too high on that there trap, even if a plew dun commed by there he wood see it an git outa there real fast like.  So I dun turned the springs sum an the trap jaw dun lowered till she was happy with that set.  Seppen course she insisted there weren’t no plews gonna cum by that there trap.  Then she said fer me ta go look at the sets she dun set.  I looked at the first one an said, you kint kitch no plews with the trap sittin like that.  It’s clear outa the water an there aint no plew gonna climb up on no trap an git kitched.  No way.  She said, look at it close like, cuz tomorrow when you chick it there will be a plew in it, an when you bring that plew back ta camp it is gonna be put in my kitch pile cuz I dun kitched it.  And then we goes to the other set an agin I tell her there aint no way a plew is gonna git itself kitched in that there trap.  The trap is completely under water an in way too deep fer a plew ta put a foot in AND it aint even near the sign what a plew dun put  clear over there.  Again she restated what tomorrow wuz gonna bring an the plew wood be put in her kitched pile.  I just smiled.  I knowed my trap would have a plew and her two would have nutin.

After the lesson we dun rode on back ta camp.  She dun told the whole camp what I wuz doin wrong in lots o trappin spots an that wuz why I wuzzn’t bringin in many plews.  I wuz readin the sign all wrong an settin traps where no plews wuz gonna be fer a whole year ta cum.

Next day I ride out an go ta chicken the traps.  The ones I dun set afor wuz kitchin sum plews just like the day afor an I felt perty good about that.  Then I amember what she dun said about the empty traps not kitchin no plews.  Well how cud I change my traps what wuzznt kitchin nuttin cuz I knowed her two sets wuzzn’t gonna kitch nuttin, so I aint gonna change my wayz a settin traps.

I goes over to the hidden deep water what she dun figgered wuz there yesterday, an check my trap.  Nuttin.  Then I go to her first trap an low an behold there is a plew right in that there trap fer sure.  How in tarnation cud that plew git in that there trap?  I goes to the other trap an bingo, there is another plew in that trap too.  Two traps, two plews in one night!  By golly, maybe I need ta change up sum of my traps what wuz empty.

I learned a good bit of lesson on that there day an she dun got her two plews put in her kitched pile.  Thanks for the lesson Sydnie!

Bears Butt

June 11, 2011

So many rondeevoos ago, we wuz at rondeevoo, doin what we always do at rondeevoo, we wuz havin us a rondeevoo good time.  This here rondeevoo, we find ourselves up on the Rock Crick high in the Rocky Mountains.  This here spot is my favorite spot fer havin a rondeevoo, cuz it’s down in a real purdy valley, next ta the river called Rock Crick an it is real purdy an grassy an the fish what’s in that river is good ta eat.  Anyway, we wuz there an there was a lot of folks comin an goin an the weather it was shinin all the while we wuz there.  Did I say how purdy it was?

One day there wuz sum injuns what wuz camped near by what cum inta the camp with the rest an they wanted ta dance an show us some injun good times an we abliged and they let us join in an have sum fun with em.  It wuz a good time fer sure.  We danced an sang an watched as they did special dances an songs an drum beatin an it wuz fer sure a real good thing.  They showed us what was good weather dancin an drum beatin, an it worked fer sure cuz we had shinin weather the whole time an it wuz sure a good time, fer sure.

Well, they didn’t want ta leave the younguns out of havin some of the fun so they called up all the little mountain folks what wuz in camp an of course my boys joined in with the rest.  There wuz a heap of them little ones all in a great big ol circle.  When the injun in charge told them what they wuz about ta partake in the little ones wuz grinning an happy as kin be.  They started out sort a slow like an they wuz dancing in a big circle.  Round the guy in the middle what wuz showin them what the dance steps wuz.  The little ones wuz following his steps zacktly as wuz showed.  Then he picked up the pace sum an the little ones followed.  Round an round they went, just a kickin up theys heals an holdin them legs up high an spinnin round they selves an moving slow around in a big old circle.  The spinnin round they selves wuz the funnest part, cuz some of them had a hard time standin on one foot an spinning whilst holdin up one leg real high.  Then they would switch off the foot what wuz on the ground an then spin in the other direction.  It wuz a real site fer sure.

Well, our son what we called Brandon, he wuz there an dancing an dancing an dancing.  Round an a round he did go, never missed a step.  Spinnin when the leader dun spinned an turned an lifted his legs just like the guy in the middle an he wuz sum good too.  His little ol legs just a carryin on as he went round an round.  Perty soon he wuz the onliest one out in the circle an he wuz still a dancing, keepin up with the guy what used ta be in the middle of the circle, but they wusn’t no more circle, just Brandon an him a dancin.  The folks what wuz watchin wuz carryin on with clappin to each hop an callin out for encouragement fer Brandon to keep it up, which he did an he wuz a gittin tired an all.

Perty soon he couldn’t dance no more an he sat on the ground with wore out legs.  The guy in the middle, what wuzn’t in the middle no more, sat there with him an they grinned at each other a lot while they ketched theys breath.  Once Brandon got back up on his feet, he dun cummed over ta me an Winemaker an said how much fun it wuz ta dance injun dances an we cud see it in his eyes he dun had hisself a good ol time dancin fer sure.

At the council fire that night we parlayed fer quite sum time an decided a namin wuz most certain in order an the talkin stick wuz dun brought out by the fire light.  A story wuz told about how a young mountain man had dun gone ta a dancin injun party an the youngun dun wore out the chief of dancin by dancin round an round until the ground had no more grass, nor sticks where the dancing had been dun, an only dry dirt showed.  This youngun had dun wore out his moccasins too, an kicked up a giant dust which made all who wuz watchin powerful dry.  Then the one with the talkin stick called Brandon up to the fire light an said this here youngun is the one what I been talkin bout.  This here young mountain man dun made so many steps around that there circle, what no grass is gonna grow there for many seasons ta cum.  His mark has been made on this here rondeevoo spot for a long time ta cum.  Then he raised the talkin stick an said, “From now on, where ever mountain men shall gather, you shall be known as ‘Many Steps’”!

Bears Butt

June 5, 2011

Back about 34 sum years ago we wuz at rondeevoo kickin our heels up an havin a rondeevoo of a good time.  He was but a young lad at the time and we called him Jerry, cuz that was his Christian name.  Well as it ended up this here reondeevoo wuz gonna be named “The Big Muddy”, but at the time we didn’t knowed it wuz gonna be called that.  So, here we is, an it wuz a might bit wet, an muddy, an snowy, an cloudy, an colt, an wet, an muddy sum more, but we wuz havin ourselves quite a time for sure.

Sum of the folks what was making us all keep in a line, sort a, called out ta the camp what they wuz gonna let out a whole keg of likker an if you dun wanted sum ya best git down ta the wagon right smart like.

I took ta runnin ta git there, but time I did, it wuz all took up by others.  Well, what to my eyes do I see, but  young  Jerry  sittin there with a whole quart of likker in front an his eyes was wide as kin be.  Ya see, I ain’t for sure he dun ever had likker afor, but he sure dun had sum in front of him right now.

Well, the folks what wuz keepin us in line, sort a, said that this here free likker wuz free cuz they wuz gonna see just who could drink down their quart the fastest, an they wuz gonna be drinkin it up all at the same time, an who so did finish first and slammed their quart mug down on the table first wuz gonna win sum more likker.  Whilest the rest would just have ta be happy they dun got any likker atol.  So I wuz amongst a whole heap o folks watchin and yellin fer Jerry ta drink it fast.  All sorts of yellin wuz goin on an advise wuz pourin out on just how it has ta be dun in order ta finish the fastest.  Jerry never wuz one fer listenin too good an when the contest wuz over, he wuz happy just sippin on his likker and smiling.  Sum other mountain man dun won hands down an wuz gatherin up his likker an hikin out with it.  There sits old, young, Jerry still a sippin an grinning.

Well, let’s just say that as fer as I knowed, that wuz Jerry’s first taste of likker, cuz I don’t right know any different, so I am gonna say it were and that’s how this story goes.

As Jerry wuz growin up sum, he took ta likin likker real good an whenever we wuz at rondeevoo his mules wuz loaded with more likker than beaver plews.  Youd a thought he wuz in cahoots with Ashley an the boys, but I knowed he dun rode in ta rondeevoo frum a nother direction.  I just recon agin, why  he didn’t have not much beaver plews wuz on accounta he dun spent more time in Taos than in the mountains where the beavers wuz.  An he had plenty o time ta load his mule with likker afor he cum ta rondeevoo.  Here agin it is my take on all this cuz it’s my story an that’s just how I see it.

Well here we wuz havin us a good ol time at nuther rondeevoo and someone dun called old Jerry ta the fire an asked him about his mules with all that likker an he dun said he liked his likker an that when he dun cum ta rondeevoo, he had ta make sure he an all his friends wuz well supplied.  So, he spent a heap o plew bucks on likker fer the good times.

Well the talkin stick wuz out an this old boy dun picked it up an said ta old Jerry,  “You are a mountain man of mountain men an I’m here ta tell everbody here in this camp that wherever mountain men shall meet you shall be knowed as  ‘Many Grimace’”!!

An ya know what?  They dun made him the booshway fer the next years gatherin an that’s just the way it wuz.

Bears Butt

June 2, 2011

It was at rendeevooo back in twenty ought eleben and times was sure a shinin.  Pinned down some in the lodges cuz of the wind, rain and snow, but our spirits was still high an we dun been havin ourselves a real good time.  We dun got into some shootin with the others but it seemed most all our rifles was a bit out of sort.  Perhaps they was spectin warmer times and with the cold of the days, they had shrunk up an made the sights go off center sum.  At any rate, only Edjukateer dun what all us others wish we cud a dun.  He dun won hisself a mighty fine patch knife, with a sheath an a  beeded necklace.  It looks pert near to be the finest of quality of any other in the Rockies.  Any mountain man would be proud to have that there patch knife.

So, my specting what the guns had dun shrivled up sum just might not be the true  deal and maybe it be just the rest of us just wasn’t line’n up right on our own sights.  Whatever, like I said, we just throwed powder down an patched ball and spent sum caps making noise an such and didn’t git no braggin rights ta speek uf.  Oh, ya, sepen Fat Duck an Dry Dog, they dun won some licker frum Many Steps an me, agin most cuz I wuz not quite on top of my shootin and Many Steps stayed up pert near till time ta shoot an wuzznt havin both his eyes focused real clear.

Next morn we woke ta see a whole ton o’snow dun felled durin the night an a whole bunch of the camp was perty much down on the ground.  Sum poles was broke and a lot of canvas an skins had tore up sum and folks wuz tryin ta fix things up an all.  Sum dun said they was movin on ta nuther rondeevoo in warmer climes an others wuz sayin they wuz headed fer the flatlands.  Well, we Willow Creekers wuzn’t bout ta leave this here rondeevoo.  We went ta doin what had ta be dunned and we put back up the dinin flys what was down an started up the fires under the newly rected flys ta dry them out sum.  Ya, our moccasins wuz soaked up pretty bad with mud an we wuz soaked ta the knee in our leathers, but inside we wuz still warm an dry an we wuz still at rondeevoo an we wasn’t bein hurt nor dead an our horses wuz still in camp an all the folks what mean stuff to us was well, so we dun continued to have ourselves a good old rondeevoo!

When it wuz about half way thru this day an the dinin flys wuz bout dry, Hunter sayz  “Hay, let’s go do sum shootin”!  So, Crazy Skinner, Hunter, Edjukateer, Trap Dancer, John Deere an me, grabbed up our guns and headed fer the range.

Mountain men don’t much care what they is goin ta shoot at, it be mostly for the right ta say they be the best shootin one once it’s all dun .  We been knowed ta shoot at big things such as knots on trees or large rocks on the mountain side.  We also been knowed ta shoot at little things like buttons or twigs stickin outa tree branches.  Well taday we wuz gonna shoot at mostly little things.  Ta begin with, Trap Dancer had sum playin cards what he dun brought ta rondeevoo so we broked out six of them, one fur each, an fastened them to our backdrop range and stepped back 40 sum yards.

Ya gotta know that a playin card aint too very big when looked at frum 40 yards.  Special with these old 60 sum year old eyes of mine.  But we loaded up an took a shot at the card what wuz ours ta shoot at.  Then we goed down an looked ta see if we dun hit or not.  Well seems that Hunter an me wuz the only two what hit.  So Edjukateer said we needed ta shoot two more times an see who is the best.  So we goed back and reloaded and each took a shot agin.  Then we reloaded and dun shot a third time.  When we goed down ta look at the cards, only Hunter had dun hit his card a second time an nun of the rest of us cud say we dun better.  So he dun won that one.

Ok, now is when things started ta  git interestin.  I grabbed up six little sticks what wuz about three inches long an just about the same size round as a  bone frum a front rabbit leg.  So weez stude them sticks up so they is standin up tall above what is holdin them an back we goed.  Now if you dun wuz standin 40 yards back frum a stood up rabbit it wouldn’t be nutin ta plug the critter, but now git just a front leg bone standin down there an there ain’t much what you kin see.  Well this is what we wuz a seein an there weren’t much of it ta see.

We all git loaded up an ta make it fair we dun took each a shot whilst the others just stood an watched.  Beins how he aint skeert of nutin, Crazy Skinner went first.  When the smoke cleared, there stood his stick just like before the shot.  Hunter steps up next and after much thinkin an aimin an the gun dun finally goes off an the smoke clears, his stick is just like it wuz before.  I dun stepped ta the line an takes careful aim an squeezed the trigger an BOOM goes the gun an when the smoke dun cleared, there stood my stick without so much as a lead burn.  Dag Nabbit!  Bout this time ol  Trap Dancer he has ta go back inta the woods fer mother nature wuz callin so he aint gonna be shootin at his stick this here time.  So, up steps Edjukateer an he is gonna be teachin each of us a lesson on gun handlin an shootin an scorin.  He caps up, aims, takes a long deep breath and goes ta squeezing the trigger.  His form is real steady an he sure is determined ta make his stick go away, the gun goes off and smoke dun fills the space frum his barrel ta the stick.  When the smoke duz finally go away, there is his stick still standin, just like afor.

Next and last man up is John Deere.  He ain’t feerin nutin, just like Crazy Skinner an he is gonna show us how it’s dun.  I gotta tell ya now, John Deere is a man what has only been on this earth for sum 13 years, but he knows where his stick floats an he knows just how sweet his rifle is ta shoot.  He dun steps ta the line an just like Edjukateer, gits his self all gathered up and with a deep breath he dun aims down range ta his stick.  Smooth as silk he is as the trigger finally does release and lets the hammer fall.  BOOM!  An that old familiar cloud of smoke fills the space and then slowly starts ta go away.  As the smoke is clearin, we kin all see clear what his stick is GONE!!!  John Deere has just kicked our butts right there on that there firin line!  He turns tawards us an we is standin there with our mouths dropped pert near ta the ground, an he says, “Boys, I am the best there is amongst all us who is here shootin right now”.  An ya know he was right , an we dun went ta shake his hand an tell him he was the best one sure.  He sure was havin himself a great time right then cuz his grinnin face cudn’t handle a bigger grin!