By: Bears Butt


Well, when we wake up in the morning we might wish we were seeing little yellow flowers sticking up around here and there, but this story is one I remember from high school….it’s sick!  Any names mentioned are totally fictitious.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I guess I’ve been around some:

If you don’t like to envision something in your mind that isn’t really a good vision then you might just like to go to another web site.


I was sitting in my English class (I think) and very much confused by what was being taught, I’m sure it was something about dangling participles or adjectives or some crazy thing that “Nobody will ever use in their entire lives”…gotta git it enough to git through the test”…..

Anyway, the teacher, (my best by the way, cuz she would use her wig to wipe the blackboard when she got angry with the group of us), had us doing a silent test…no talking…no looking at Sandy Glass’ paper… no nothing, but trying to figure out the answer to these stupid questions.

The place was very silent, with the exception of some scribbling from those who actually knew the answers or a smart butt who just was showing off, and an occasional eraser noise.  When suddenly, we all heard the noise of someone about to sneeze!


Oh dear, Dennis is about to sneeze.  And a big one I might say.


All eyes, and I mean ALL eyes, were pinned to Dennis’ seat and we all saw the most incredible sight of all sights that could be seen!

What do you think it was?  After all, we were supposed to be looking at nothing but our own test papers and nothing else.

From my seat, sitting right next to Dennis, and I’m talking like 3 feet…A long string of snot coming out of his nose, just hanging there and it protruding down onto his paper at least 3 feet long, curled like nothing else I have ever seen and he looked over at me and we made eye contact.

His hands were placed on either side of the top of his desk at this point and he knew that what he had done had everyone’s attention. He blinked once, well maybe twice, and looked away from me and then snuffs upward like a giant panda, moving his head as he did, like someone who knew they had 4 feet of snot hanging under their nose and had to dispose of it quickly.  And as his head went backward and his NOSE SUCKED A GIANT  SUCK!

There it went!  Curling and hurling upward in a winding sort of way, up and off his papers and back into his head, from where it had come………

I choked!  Others coughed and still others got up and ran from the room groaning!  Sandy Glass was one of them.

OH MY GOD!  What did I just witness… I felt weak…I felt noxious…and then suddenly a calm came over me and I felt like laughing…which I did and I did it with such vigor and seriousness that the whole class (those left) even the teacher joined in with laughter!

She called for all our papers to be turned in “as they were” and the next day she gave us all passing grades for that test!

I guess there is a lesson here.  You figure it out.  I just thought I ‘d share my story.

Bears Butt

Dec. 2, 2013

Written on December 2nd, 2013 , Just more stories

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Just some of my old stories, new stories, and in general what is going on in my life.