Ya know whenst a mountain folk is borned they dun aint got no name right frum the beginnin.  Sos sumbody decided what had ta happin wuz they gots ta have a name.  Most folks what just gitted borned cud care less what they is called, they is most interested in eatin an that is just about it.  But in order ta keep folks apart frum one nuther, they is named purdy much right frum the git go.  An ifn ya think about it fer a minute it perty much does make sense an all.

Most folks don’t go straight ta the mountains ta trap an such an they most likely wuddnt go ta the mountain anyways till they cud walk an ride a pony.  Seppen them what is borned in the mountains in the first place.

Iffn ya thinks about it purdy much, afor white mountain men started ta cum ta the mountain, the folks what wuz already in the mountains had theys names sos the other folks wud knowed who you wuz talkin bout iffn you wuz talkin bout sumbody.  Well, nows when this here story is gonna begin.

Onst agin we wuz huntin sum meat fer winter store an along the trail dun cummed this one feller what only had the name whut his folks dun called him whenst he wuz borned.  This ol boy knowed his huntin stuff fer sure an he wuz quick ta show us he knowed it.

We wuz in camp an he wuz bout ta try his hand at loadin up a new rifle what wuz give ta him fer usin.  We wuz all standin round jaw jackin an watchin him as he primed that rifle up fer his first shot.  There wuz sumpin bout his mannerisms what told us he ain’t never loaded up a muzz type gun afor.  An we wuz gittin nervous like.  We wuz lookin at him an his ways ta holt that there gun wuz with the barrel way out in frunt of hisself an almost pointin away like.

Then whenst he wuz measured up an ready ta pour the powder down the barrel he wuz real, real careful like an sorta turned his head ta the side sum, like it might just go off when the powder dun hit the bottom of the barrel.   We wuz lookin at each other all queer like an scratchin ours heads an wonderin where in tar nation did he learn this here tekneek.

Next he placed a patch right proper over the end of the barrel an careful like put a ball atop it.  The barrel is still sorta pointin away as he used his short starter an got the ball started down the barrel.  Next, as we all knowed, he pulls out his ramrod an begins ta push that patched ball down on top of the powder.  This is the last step ta load er up an we alls knows ya gots ta git that ball pushed down firm agin that powder what ya just poured down the barrel.  Ifn ya don’t ya is takin a powerful chance that you is gonna blow up yer gun an maybe even you self, orn sumbody else.

He wuz real, real careful like not ta put a bunch of pressure on that there patched ball an made sum comment bout it blowin up an all.  Sos bein the friendly an helpful folks we is, we offered up sum real handy help fer him ta learn frum.

We said, now what we dun just got ta see, wuz you loadin up fer makin meat, but whut if you wuz under attack frum some hostile type guy?  Ya gots ta learn ta load that there rifle up plenty fast sos ta git 5 or 6 shots off in a minute or so, an iffn ya kint do that, then perty much ya ain’t gonna be at next rondeevoo an sumbody is gonna have yer scalp hangin in theys lodge.

So he dun caps up his first load an fires down to the target an hits sumplace not too close ta the place he dun wanted ta hit.  So, then he perceeds ta load up agin.  We dun said, now don’t be afraid of that there powder, measure ya out whutcha want an pour it down that there barrel fast like.  An don’t be worryin bout the gun goin off nun.  They be only a little bit of a chance whut there be a spark in that there barrel an so you is gonna hafta git a cap on fer it ta fire.  So he dun pours in the powder real quick like an sure nuff it didn’t go off.

Then he puts the patch over the barrel like afor an seeted a ball top of that an usin his short starter he dun pounds that patch an ball down the barrel sum.  Then he gits his ramrod outin its place an pushes the ball down on top of the powder with a quick push.  Then he pushed that rod even harder an made sure the ball wuz seeted real gud.

Onst that wuz dun, he dun capped up an aimed real proper an the second ball dun hit right long side the first one.  We all said that wuz gud, but he wuz gonna hafta do it agin ta make sure the balls is all goin ta hit the same place.  So back ta loadin he went.  This time he wuz actin all comfident like an loaded it up.  This here third time whut he loaded only tuk maybe a minute which is gud whenst ya is a first startin ta kitch onta shootin a front stuffer rifle.

He wuz quick ta cap up, aim gud an fire.  The ball hit right next ta the other two an then he knowed his gun wuz off sight an he adjusted ta whut he thought should put the ball plumb center next time.  He went ta loadin an he wuz gittin faster an faster.  Not pushin the gun away an actin all skeert like nor nuttin like that.  He dun shot the next three times within five minutes an his adjustin had it pert neer ta the bullseye.  He dun kept this up till he had her hittin plumb center.  He knows his rifle by now perty gud too.  An the loadin ain’t nuttin but gud.  He sure do look like he is a gunner.

Welst with that ahind him, we wuz ready fur the night an needed ta sleep sum afor the mornin.  When we dun got up an headed out ta make meat at first light, he begins ta see bucks an he wuz tryin  real hard ta git close fer a shot.  Them bucks wuz smart an stayed just outa range most of the day, but when one did git within gunnin range he wuz sure ta fire a shot an try an make meat.  Well it seems that most of the shots he wuz takin wuz iffy shots at best cuz he wuzn’t makin no meat, but he sure wuz shootin when shootin wuz ta be dun.  That night his name wuz put up on the boobin baby board fer sure, cuz he dun shot an no deer wuz bringed back ta camp.

Next day we wuz up on a high ridge lookin inta the trees an brush fer bucks an sure nuff, there wuz three bucks  layin there all comfy like.  We figgered we cud git round on them an sneek in an maybe even git two or all three afor they knowed we wuz there.  So we planned us up a plan.  I wuz ta git kleer over on ta the other side of the ridge an cum toward the bucks frum the down hill side sum.  Others wuz ta cum from other angles an in the middle wuz these three bucks just layin there.  This wuz a plan whut like nun other.

Sos we gitts all sitiated an we start ta move in real slow like.  Perty soon I cud see one buck layin there lookin back at me.  He wuz gittin sorta nervous like an I decided I cudnt git no closer afor he runned off.  Sos I uses a tree branch an aims real gud an slowly pulled on that trigger and BANG!!! Offn it went, but then so did the buck.  I missed plain as plain an that buck dun runned straight at the guy who wuz sightin in the other day.  The other two bucks they dun gitted up an took off real fast like too.  An the whole mountain wuz movin.  Guys runnin left an right an deer runnin right an left.  I wuz quick ta be loadin back up when a buck dun runs right now past where I wuz standin.  I wuzn’t fast nuff ta git loaded an he gitted outa there fast like.

Then offn ta my left side, I heared a BANG!  An a holler about gittin a buck down!  I wuz happy an started that way.  Sure nuff, the guy who wuz sightin in the other day wuz standin right over a big ol buck whut he dun just shot.  Whut a happy day it wuz fer all o us what wuz there.  We wuz dancin an whoopin it up sum fer sure.

So, whenst sumbody dun gits a name theys usually duz sumpin ta deserve it right proper, an this here wuz no ception.  An that night round the council fire it was said, David, cum ta the fire.  An the guy who wuz sightin in his rifle a couple of days ago duz cummed up ta the fire.  An the man with the talkin stick he dun says when a man deserves ta git a naming duz just the right stuff ta git a name then a naming is in order.   An fer showin us you cud learn ta load that there rifle real fine like an fer not bein afreared ta shoot at bucks cuz yer name might be put on the boobin baby board an just cuz ya dun real good at gunnin down that big ol buck, we dun decided that wherever mountain men shall meet, you shall be knowed as “GUNNER”!

An that is just how it wuz.  Now ya knowed how a mountain man kin git a name.

Bears Butt

July 2011