By: Bears Butt

I heard from someone that my stories are very difficult to read and make them crazy trying to figure out what I’m trying to say.  I thought about it…for a second….and then decided I will continue to write the way I am writing.  For instance:

Normal (for me) writing:

We wuz sudnly faced with a momentus decidin factor uf what ta do now.  Duz we go on an face the unknowed, or duz we turn tail an git outa here with ours hair?

Not Normal (for me) writing about the same subject:

We were suddenly faced with a very difficult decision.  Do we go on knowing that there could be a disaster ahead that might cause us to lose a life or two or maybe some other serious injury.  Or do we turn back on the trail we know is safer than what we might face by going ahead?

NA!  I like the shorter version…it might be harder to read, but it leaves the reader a whole lot more interpretation of “what the heck is he saying exactly”!

Enjoy!

Bears Butt  the man with the “dot com”!!!

Written on June 15th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

 

High In the Crawford mountains we wuz an there be only two of us what had guns.  We wuz tryin ta make meat fer these two what dun called themselves hunters.  Boy did we try hard.  There wuz quite a bunch of us what wuz lookin fer the biggest muley bucks that wuz on that their mountain.  An we wuz spotin them too.  The problem wuz gittin close nuff fer a good shot.  We dun rode the hoss’ down a good trail when I spots this one big ol buck.   We all gits off our horses and is speaking soft like about how we wuz gonna git close enough.  Frank (later to be called Gattlin) said, heck I kin hit that critter frum here.  An he layed his rifle across the saddle of the horse and sqoze off a shot.

I spect that the ball only made it about half way ta that big old buck, cuz it just stood there wonderin why some body would wake him up with all that noise.  An it went right back ta doin what it wuz afor the shot.  I reminded Frank he best be gittin reloaded, when Fat Duck decides he too wuz a good nuff shot ta make that big old buck his.  BOOM!  An agin, the buck just stood there all still like with a puzzled look on its face.

Fat Duck started ta reload fast like an Frank wuz pert near dun reloadin his self.  I said, hey let’s git back on the horses and ride up above that big ol buck an maybe we kin git closer.  The big ol buck had dun started ta walk up the hill.  Reckon it dun had about all the disturbin it wanted fer one day.

We loaded up an started fer the top of the hill in the direction we last dun saw that big ol buck.  As we rode around the bend, there standin in the trail wuz that big ol buck.  He wuz about as close as a big ol buck will let you git too.  Bout maybe 10 yards or so.  My measurin guessin aint much good so it cud of bin closer.  Anyway that big ol buck wuz just as shook an surprised as us ta see us in the same trail an so close, he dun twirled around an started ta runnin outa there.  Fat Duck, he is a quick one, an he dun got offn the horse and capped up his long gun fer a shot.  As he wuz a aimin so duz Frank git offn his hoss an is cappin up.  The buck wuz a runnin real fast like an just about over the top of the hill when old Fat Ducks gun barked out.  Corse all we cud see wuz the bucks horns by the time the ball dun got that far.  An the buck wuz gone.  Frank never did git a shot.  Sos, Fat Duck now has ta load while gallopin up the trail.  We needed ta git up the trail fast like so we kin see which way this big ol buck wuz headin.

Wouldn’t cha nowed it, just as we top the hill, there stands that same big ol buck right off the side of the trail.  Fat Duck ain’t all loaded up just yet an Frank he piles offn his hoss and rounds under it’s nose fer a shot.  The buck is off an runnin agin but it’s still perty close like, maybe 20 yards this time when Franks gun bellows out smoke an fire!  The ball goes just under the buck and bites into the snow.  Fat Duck he dun loaded up an is offn his horse trying like the dickins ta git a  cap on his cap lock, but the buck dun goes over another hill afor he kin git a shot.

We all quick like decide where this big ol buck is headed an we sayz if we kin git you gunners over ta the other side, there is a good chance that big ol buck will run right inta ya an ya kin git im fer sure this time.  So all fast like we is loaded up an Frank now hasta load while gallopin around the hillside.  We hurry as fast as kin be with the horses we dun got, an Frank gits all loaded up time we reach the spot we wuz thinkin about.

Comin down the trail still goin perty fast like, there stands that big ol buck, all tuckered out frum his runnin.  Both Fat Duck an Frank dun unload themselves frum theys hosses an perceed ta git ready fer shootin.  Fat Duck is quicker than Frank with cappin up an bears down on this here big ol buck.  Ta me it looks like Fat Duck is gonna have his meat pole filled up sure this time.  Fat Ducks gun belches out a huge cloud of smoke and fire burns the hair offn that big ol buck, but the ball goes just over its back an plows a mean ditch in the snow.  Fat Duck is beside hisself fer missin.

Meantime ol Frank he dun found hisself a good sittin spot ta aim an he too is pointin his rifle steady at that big ol buck what is just standin there about 5 yards out.  Frank cuts loose with a belcher of a boom an just like Fat Ducks the fire burns the hair offn that bucks shoulder and the ball dun goes right zacktly where Fat Ducks ball dun hit.  It’s a mighty calm now as the two hunters dun missed four times each at that big ol buck an the buck dun walks away never ta be seed by us agin.

It wuz perty citin fer all us what wuz watchin as the commotion wuz goin on, an the horses wuz glad we wuzzn’t gonna run em fast no more fer awhile.

Golly cum ta think about it an all that wuz a perty gud time what we wuz havin.  But the goal here is ta git Fat Duck an Frank sumpin ta be eatin this here cumin winter an we aint dun it yet.

Later on we cum cross another big buck.  Not near as big as the first one, but big no less.  Fat Duck kint see it an it’s just standin there about 3 yards out.  Maybe Fat Duck just wuz lookin through the horns, cuz it wuz just standin there facin him.  Finally he dun sees it an fires a quick shot.  I reckon he dun fired from the hip, cuz the ball hit the snow right twinxt it’s front feet an off it goed.  Frank an Tracker went ta cut off the big buck by goin ta theys left, an Fat Duck an the rest of us stayed on its trail.  Sudden like, we seed it cumin up the hill from Frank an Trackers way an Fat Duck lays down another screen of smoke an fire.  I gotta say in Fat Ducks behaf that the buck wuz a bit fer out this time an runnin, cuz I didn’t see no fire burn no fur off his side this time, but the ball went over the bucks back an probably still is flyin.  We never did see that big ol buck agin.

Still, all in all, we dun seed sum pritty big bucks an them two hunters wuz tryin like ever thing ta fill theys meat poles plenty.

My memory aint what is wuz a while ago an this here hunt went on fer many days.  I’m tryin ta give ya the low down of it all with this true story afore ya git tired an fall ta sleep.  So stay ta readin it cuz ya aint gonna wanna miss nutin.

On another mountain we dun seed another big ol buck an it wuz layin down all quiet like.  Fat Duck thinks he kin ride down there an put a ball right twinxt it’s eyes an I agreed.  Frank figgered that with Fat Duck cumin to it, it wud see er hear him an git up an cum up the hill to a saddle in the hill an that is where he wud be waitin.

So Frank is workin his way ta the saddle an me an Fat Duck we ride on down the ridge an git above the buck.  Fat Duck is sure ta bag this buck, cuz it’s only about 5 yards offn the trail an layin down sleepin.  Fat Duck is a sneaky guy an eases over the edge of the rock ledge an there lays that big ol buck.  Fat Duck has his cap on the nipple and the hammer is back.  The buck spots him an stands up givin him a fer sure broad side shot.  The buck is lookin at him an them horns is summpin else, I’ll tell ya fer sure.  One big ol buck what has horns that one side pert near touches its backside tail as it’s standin there lookin.  Again the rifle bellows out a big ol BOOM an smoke fills the air, but this time the ball goes right smack dab twinxt those big ol horns and plows another furrow in the snow behind.  The buck trots off down the trail ta git away.

As Fat Duck is cumin back ta the horses, he dun got his gun held by the front sight end of the barrel an I say ta him it looked like you dun made a field goal on that there buck an Fat Duck said,  “Iffn I had a crick neer by I’d throw this here gun right in it”!

I had to think on that awhile cuz why wud you throwd your onliest gun in a crick when you is out tryin ta make meat?  I aint figgered that out yet.  It took me sum time afor I gave up tryin ta figger that out an went back ta talkin ta Fat Duck.  Mean time Frank dun cummed down ta where we wuz an we went ta planning what next ta do.

Fat Duck didn’t find no crick so he dun loaded up agin an off we goed.

Twernt long an we seed that same last buck agin only this time it was a way long ways away, bout 50 yards.  Fat Duck has a determined look prity good now an he dun aimed the bestest he cud an he put that buck flat out an on his meat pole fer sure this time!  Check out this picture of Fat Duck an that big ol buck!

 

Well, only one hunter left ta bag a big ol buck now an that be Frank!

It wuz a nuther day an me an Hunter an Frank wuz ridin up the trail when sudden as all the other big ol bucks there wuz one.  Right there in a minute it wuz an standin still as kin be just lookin at us.  Frank gits off his hoss an sneaks closer fer the shot.  He gits about 6 yards frum the buck and starts ta aimin.  BOOM!  An smoke fills the calm morning air ta a point we cudnt see the buck.  When the smoke final moves away, the buck wuz sum 10 yards away.  I figgered the ball dun pushed it that far, but there wernt no hole in it an it wuz still on its feet.  Frank had to scuffle back ta the hoss ta git more shootin supplies an he did an got his gun all loaded up with a big ol load this time.  He is determined he dun gonna put a hole in that big ol buck fer sure.

He sneaks up closer an when he gits about 6 yards frum that big ol buck agin he lets that ball fly an he misses the shot.  Frank aint nun too happy bout now an he dun comes back ta the hoss ta git more powder an ball.  Meantime that big ol buck walks off an me an Hunter watch as it goes.  There is only one way we kin git that buck now.  An I say ta Frank, we need ta git the horses on over ta that ridge over there an ambush that big ol buck when it dun cums up an crosses that there saddle right there.

I reckon Frank aint listenin too gud right now cuz he is cussin sumpin an sayin stuff like his gun aint workin, an he needs a drink, an the sights is off an he needs nuther drink an stuff like that.

Well, onest he is loaded, let me say that agin, onest his gun is all loaded up we git back on the horses an ride ta the far ridge.  The one the big ol buck is headed toward an we git there as quiet as we kin an we git in a spot where we kin most likely see the big ol buck cum over the saddle an we sits down.

After while, I sees the big ol bucks horns cumin up the hill, right like we figgered inta the saddle.  Frank gits all ready an I remind him he is shootin down hill an ta aim a bit low.  The buck dun cums perfect as perfect kin be an Frank puts that ball perfect into it’s heart!  An now Frank has his meat pole filled an we kin all go home an have ourselves a good winter of eatin ven.  Take a gander at Franks big ol buck whut he dun took on this here hunt.

 

At rondeevoo the next year the talkin stick dun cummed out an a rendition of this here story wuz dun told ta all what wuz there an then Frank wuz called ta the fire an the man  with the talkin stick dun said these here words, “Frank, we dun heared the story about how you dun kilt yer big ol buck last year an we dun decided without anyone havin nothing other ta say, that from now on an where ever mountain men shat meet you shall be knowed as ‘Gattlin’”!  An that is how that all came about.

Bears Butt

June 13, 2011

Written on June 15th, 2011 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

 

Conner  wanted to go with the ol Bears Butt out on the trappin line one day.  It wuz pretty good weather considerin it wuz cold an all, but I decided he shud go an learn sum bout trappin anyway.

Well, I always carry my pistol just in case I dun git a critter what I didn’t want ta kitch an I kint  take care of it with a stick.  Sum time ya gotta take a chance an shoot the critter, even if hostiles might hear the shot an cum ta take yer scalp.

I dun worned Conner bout the chance we dun cum inta hostile territory an that my traps wuz deep in there quite a bit.  Well he still said he dun wanted ta cum and be with Bears Butt.  I wuz ok with all of that.

Here we wuz the next day an we loaded up the horses and wagon with all our stuff what we wuz gonna need.  Corse I always takes my trusty pistol.  We had all the normal things what we needed too.  Traps, lots of feed for the hosses, sum jerky an water, fer us.  We wuz set ta go.

Loaded up we dun headed out.  Took us quite sum time ta git ta the trappin spot, but the sun wuz still high an we had sum time ta check what traps wuz out there.  As we gits ta chickin traps we wuz not gitin many plews.  Seems maybe the weather had em denned up er sumpin.  Anyways we keeped on chickin the traps and pert soon we wuz dun.  Havin been a perty long day so far an we still had us a heap of a ride ta git back ta camp, we turned the horses round and headed that direction.

I wuznt too worried nun about the hostiles cuz the weather wuz a bit nippy an I figgered they wood have theys heads in theys lodges all hunkered down an all.  So what I mean by all of that is I hadn’t bin watchin fer nun of em.  Corse the way it all turned out there twernt nun anywayz.

Ol Conner says he wanted ta take a little break frum all this trappin an travlin so we pulled up short and tied the critters down.  I broke us out sum jerky an we begin ta talk sum.  He had a heap o questions about why the plews wuz not so many an how the weather wuz an all.  Then he spots my trusty ol pistol.  Kin I look at that there pistol sum?

Sure you kin look at it son.  An I pulled it outa its hidin spot an handed it to im.  He aint never seed a pistol like this here one an he is wide eyed an a lookin real close at it.  I asked him if he dun ever seed one like it afor an corse he says no.  Well, I asked him if he dun ever shot a pistol afor an he tells me he aint.  So I say lets be shootin this here one right now.  I’ll show ya the ropes an you can shoot er.

Sos I show him the deal about this here pistol real good.  An I tell him about how easy it is to point it all round the place without havin ta move his arm an such an how he cud git in a heap o trouble ifn he didn’t mind where it was a pointin.  An he says he understood all of that real good an he wuz ready ta try an shoot it.

Well we wuz gonna need sumpin ta shoot at what we cud see wheres his bullets wuz goin.  So I goes through my saddle pack an finds a fine targit what wood do real fine.  Then I walked the targit out about 25 yards an placed it on the ground sos ya cud see it real good.  Then I dun cummed back ta Conner an the hosses.

Next I showed Conner just how the pistol wuz loaded up an told him how it wuz just like loadin a long gun only this here had a way much shorter barrel than a long gun.  He said he dun knowed it had a lot shorter barrel than a long gun an that I wuzn’t teachin him nutin he didn’t already know about that there.  But he dun never shot a pistol afor an needed me ta strucked him good.

Sos after showin him how ta load it up, he dun loaded it up just like I said ta do it.  Then I showed him how ta aim it an said it wuz just like aimin a long gun, seppen it had a shorter barrel than a long gun an other then that it wuz pert near the same.  He just looked at me.  So I figgered he knowed that part already.

Well, now it is time ta shoot at that there targit.  He takes that pistol an he aims her pritty dang good an holds it steady and boom off it goes with a bang!  Corse I knowed he wuzn’t gonna hit that targit cuz it wuz so small, bout the size of a kettle pot lid,  an we walked down range an sure nuff he dun hit that targit right good.  Sos we goes back.

Now this here is my bestest pistol what I own an I kin shoot it perty gud an all.   I even hit a rabbit right in the eye at 20 yards onest an I wuz aimin at the eye, cuz that wuz all I cud see of that there rabbit.  But what I wuz about ta see I aint so sure I cud a done, but don’t ya go tellin Conner that now.  Hold yer tung.

Conner loads er up agin an takes careful as he cud aim an squeezes that there trigger just like afor an boom, off she goes.  Agin we walk down there and now they is two holes in that there targit!  Son of a gun, this boy dun is a natural shooter.  Well this here goes on fer a time an he dun shot a heap of times an ever time that there targit dun got a new hole in it.

I finally had ta call a stop ta all this here shootin an hittin, cuz it wuz high time we wuz on our way ta camp.  Besides we probably wuz wakin up them hostiles makin all our whoopin an gun shot sounds.  An the targit wuznt much ta shoot at no more either.  A few more shots an I doubt we cud see where the ball wuz dun strikin.

I reckon ol Conner will be shootin a pistol at the next rondeevoo.  Ifn not, maybe I got a last chance ta maybe win a shootin contest aginst them other mountain men.  Cuz I knowed beyond knowin he be shootin in the rondeevoo after this here next one.

Bears Butt

June 13, 2011

Written on June 14th, 2011 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

For some of you new to this site, the Sir Butt series is a continuing series of interview questions to Sir Butt and his responses to those questions.  It would be of great value (if there is any value in any of this) to go back into the archives of Sir Butt and begin with the first posting and read from there.  It might make more sense (again if there is any sense to any of this).

Bears Butt

Written on June 14th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt


COMPANY NAME: USA CHEMICAL CO.

SUPPLIERS OF SPRAY CHEMICALS FOR ALL AGRICULTURAL NEEDS.

REASON FOR THE JOB: PERSONS OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE AND ALL AROUND THE WORLD ENJOY THE BENEFITS OF USING USA CHEMICAL CO. HERBICIDES, PESTICIDES AND GROUND KILLERS.  IN OUR FORWARD THINKING COMPANY PLAN, WE FEEL IT ONLY FITTING TO MAKE CERTAIN OUR PRODUCTS ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE INTENDED TO DO AND ARE NOT EFFECTING THE LOCAL ENVIRONMENT AND/OR ANIMAL LIFE NEGATIVELY IN ANY WAY.  THEREFORE, WE FEEL IT IS NECESSARY TO SAMPLE LOCAL ANIMALS AND INSPECT THEIR LIVERS FOR ANY ADVERSE CONDITIONS THAT MAY BE CAUSED BY OUR PRODUCTS.

LOCATION OF JOB: ANYWHERE THE INCUMBENT WISHES TO CALL HOME.

SUBMIT APPLICATION BY INTERNET VIA: PERSONEL@USACHEMICAL.BIZ

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF JOB: INCUMBENT IS REQUIRED TO FURNISH SAMPLES OF THE LIVERS (SAMPLES) FROM ANIMAL/FISH HARVESTED.  ALL SAMPLES WILL BE SHIPPED IN PRE-PAID SHIPPING CONTAINERS PROVIDED BY USA CHEMICAL CO.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE JOB: INCUMBENT WILL BE REQUIRED TO RELOCATE AFTER COMPLETING EACH JOB ASSIGNMENT.  JOB ASSIGNMENTS ENTAIL THE TAKING OF ANIMALS, INCLUDING FISH FROM WITHIN AND AROUND AREAS WHERE USA CHEMICALS HAVE BEEN USED.

INCUMBENT WILL BE PAID ACCORDING TO THE NUMBER OF SAMPLES PROVIDED AT A RATE OF $2,000 P/SAMPLE DELIVERED.  INCUMBENT CAN APPEAL FOR ADDITIONAL COMPENSATION PENDING JOB COMPLETION IF THE INCUMBENT FEELS HIS/HER LIFE HAS BEEN ENDANGERED IN ANY WAY.  APPEALS CAN ONLY BE PAID UP TO A MAXIMUM OF $5,000 P/SAMPLE DELIVERED.  SAMPLE SIZE DOES NOT DICTATE MORE OR LESS COMPENSATION TO THE INCUMBENT.  A GOPHER LIVER PAYS EQUAL TO AN ELEPHANT LIVER.

INCUMBENT WILL BE ALLOWED TO HAVE AS HIS/HER ESCORTS, ANY OR ALL FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING SIBLINGS AND UP TO 5 PERSONAL FRIENDS.  ALL OF WHOM WILL TRAVEL AT THE EXPENSE OF USA CHEMICAL CO.  ANY AND ALL LICENSE FEES WILL BE INCLUDED FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

INCUMBENT, FAMILY AND FRIENDS  WILL BE PROVIDED VISAS AND ALL TRAVEL PAPERWORK NESSESSARY FOR WORLD WIDE TRAVELLING.  INCLUDING THE COUNTRIES OF CHINA, AFRICA AND NEW ZEALAND.

AIR TRANSPORTATION TO JOB DESTINATIONS OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES WILL BE ARRANGED AND PAID FOR BY USA CHEMICAL CO. IN ADVANCE AND THE INCUMBENT MUST BE ON THE JOB SITE WITHIN THE PARAMETERS SET FOR THAT JOB.  AIR TRANSPORTATION WILL ALSO BE PROVIDED FOR THE INCUMBENTS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  SHOULD SPECIAL CLOTHING, EQUIPMENT, GUIDE SERVICES ETC. BE NECESSARY FOR THE INCUMBENT, FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO ADEQUATELY COMPLETE THE ASSIGNMENT  USA CHEMICAL CO. WILL PAY ANY AND ALL EXPENCES.  USA CHEMICAL CO. WILL ALSO PAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EXPENSES FROM THE AIRPORT TO THE JOB SITE, AT THE JOB SITE AND BACK TO THE AIRPORT WHEN THE JOB IS COMPLETED.  THESE EXPENSES WILL MOST LIKELY INCLUDE CHAUFFEUR DRIVERS.

 

INCUMBENT WILL BE FURNISHED A 40 FOOT CLASS A MOTORHOME FOR TRAVELLING IN AND AROUND THE UNITED STATES.  ANY AND ALL EXPENSES RELATED TO THE USE OF THE MOTOR HOME WILL BE PAID BY USA CHEMICAL CO., INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:  INSURANCE, EMERGENCY SERVICES, FUEL, MAINTAINENCE, PARKING FEES, TOLL FEES, CAMPING FEES  ETC.

THE INCUMBENT WILL BE PROVIDED A CREDIT CARD WHICH MUST ONLY BE USED TO PURCHASE FOOD, CLOTHING, AMMUNITION, GUNS, FISHING TACKLE, CAMPING EQUIPMENT ETC. FOR HIM/HERSELF, FAMILY AND PERSONAL FRIENDS ACCOMPANYING THE INCUMBENT ON THE ASSIGNMENT.  A SPECIAL ALLOWANCE OF UP TO 25% FOR SERVICE TIPS IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE WHILE USING THIS CREDIT CARD.

THE INCUMBENT, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL BE PROVIDED ANY AND ALL LICENSES FOR THE STATE AND/OR COUNTRY IN WHICH THE JOB ASSIGNMENT TAKES PLACE.

UPON ARRIVING ON THE JOB SITE, THE INCUMBENT WILL BE GIVEN A LIST OF ANIMALS THAT NEED TO BE HARVESTED.  THE INCUMBENT IS RESPONSIBLE TO OBTAIN AT LEAST ONE SAMPLE OF EACH OF THE ANIMALS ON THE LIST AND PROPERLY REMOVE AND SHIP THE LIVER TO THE PREDETERMINED DESTINATION, IN THE CONTAINER PROVIDED WITH PREPAID SHIPPING.  SHOULD THE INCUMBENT FIND IT DIFFICULT TO LOCATE AND HARVEST AN ANIMAL ON THE LIST, HE/SHE MAY AT THEIR DISCRESTION HIRE GUIDES AND/OR ADDITIONAL EQUIPMENT TO ASSIST IN THE HARVESTING OF THAT ANIMAL.  ONCE HARVESTED AND THE LIVER REMOVED FOR SHIPPING, THE REMAINDER OF THE ANIMAL CAN BE UTILIZED BY THE INCUMBENT, HIS/HER FAMILY AND/OR ANY GUESTS ACCOMPANYING THE INCUMBENT.   IF AN ANIMAL HARVESTED IS CONSIDERED BY THE INCUMBENT TO BE ONE WORTHY OF TAXIDERMY SERVICES OF ANY KIND, USA CHEMICAL CO. WILL PAY ANY AND ALL FEES ASSOCIATED WITH THAT AND WILL PAY SHIPPING COSTS TO ANY ADDRESS THE INCUMBENT WISHES THE FINISHED MOUNT TO BE SENT.  IF THE INCUMBENT WISHES TO SELL OR DONATE THE MOUNTED ANIMAL HE/SHE WILL BE ALLOWED TO KEEP ANY AND ALL PROCEEDS FROM THE SALE.  USA CHEMICAL CO., WILL PAY ANY AND ALL EXPORT/EXCISE TAXES AND/OR FEDERAL/STATE TAXES ON ANY SOLD OR DONATED MOUNT.

SHOULD THE INCUMBENT FIND DIFFICULTIES IN OBTAINING A LIVER SAMPLE FROM ONE OR MORE OF THE ANIMALS ON THE JOB LIST HE/SHE MAY HIRE SOMEONE TO CONTINUE TO PERSUE THE ANIMAL IN HIS/HER ABSENCE AND MOVE TO THE NEXT JOB ASSIGNMENT AREA.  THE INCUMBENT CAN NOT PROMISE USA CHEMICAL CO TO PAY THE NEWLY HIRED PERSON MORE THAN $1,500 P/SAMPLE DELIVERED.  SHOULD AN ANIMAL ON THE LIST NOT BE HARVESTED, THE INCUMBENT MAY EXPECT TO BE REASSIGNED TO THAT AREA IN THE FUTURE TO TRY AGAIN.  REASSIGNMENTS COME WITH A REDUCED PRICE PER SAMPLE TO BE DETERMINED BY THE DEMAND FOR THAT SAMPLE.  THIS PRACTICE ENCOURAGES THE INCUMBENT TO HARVEST EVERY ANIMAL ON THE LIST THE FIRST TIME THE ASSIGNMENT IS GIVEN.

WHILE TRAVELLING, WHETHER INSIDE OR OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES, THE INCUMBENT, FAMILY AND PERSONAL FRIENDS WILL HAVE 100% OF THEIR MEDICAL NEEDS MET AT ALL TIMES.  IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT THE INCUMBENT DIES WHILE ON ASSIGNMENT, IT IS ADVISED HE/SHE LIST WHO WILL TAKE OVER THE JOB FROM THE FAMILY OR PERSONAL FRIENDS THAT ACCOMPANY HIM/HER ON THE ASSIGNMENT.  SHOULD ALL PERSONS TRAVELLING WITH THE INCUMBENT, INCLUDING THE INCUMBENT DIE WHILE ON AN ASSIGNMENT THIS JOB WILL BE RE-POSTED AND ANOTHER INCUMBENT SOUGHT, AS IS THE CASE AT THIS POINT.

WE ARE AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY COMPANY.

Bears Butt

June 13, 2011

Written on June 13th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

 

Hey everyone.  I think it’s time we made ourselves a fire starting set.  What’s in it?  You ask.  A metal container for some tinder and some char.  A piece of flint rock.  A metal striker.  A bag to carry it all in.  AND another larger metal container in which you make your char.

Now what are all these things I’m talking about?

Metal container: This should be a fairly small container with a metal lid that is fairly tight so as not to let moisture in.  Moisture is a very bad thing when it comes to making fire using a flint and a steel.  My small tin measures about 2 ½ inches across and is about ½ inch deep.  I actually only carry my char in it and my tinder in another moisture tight container.

Around where I live we have places where people drop off unwanted items like a charity type store and the store re-sells it for pretty cheap compared to the cost of the item when it was new.  In the case of these metal containers, the condition only needs to be moisture resistant and it does not need to be pretty.  Actually, you will probably burn the outside paint off when you make your first fire, just to give the container an old timey look.

By the way, while you are in that store, look for a metal container that is larger than the one you are going to carry with your fire starting kit.  One that maybe about 6 inches across and 2 inches deep.  Actually most any size that is bigger will do.  You will understand as we get into this farther just about what you want to pick up.

You probably don’t have to go to any store either.  Look around your home.  Did Uncle Joe give you a presentation knife that was in a metal container?  The metal container in that bottom drawer.  The one that used to have a knife in it.  Or what about Aunt Diane giving you a container of cookies.  Isn’t that made of metal?  Get what I’m saying here?

Small Metal Container with Char in it

Now we are going to have fun making this fire kit, so it might take us a while to get it all together.  And it isn’t going to cost us anything if we are willing to look around for the items.

Char: Char is “cooked cotton cloth”.  It has to be 100% pure cotton, so look on the label of that old T-shirt of yours, the one that is in the rag bag.  It can be an old towel or better yet some of those lantern wicks that are used in hurricane lamps.  The ones you have for emergency use stuck in your storage area and are filled with kerosene.  Ya, those wicks.  But to keep costs to zero, just use old clothing or towels.  They MUST be 100% cotton.

Cut the cotton up in sizes about 2 inches square and place each piece in your larger tin container.  Stack them up until the container is full.  They don’t have to be in a perfect stack, they can be scattered in the container, just make sure to fill it up pretty full.

Now put the lid on the container, good and tight.  Take a nail, awl, small screwdriver (nail is best) and poke about 10 small holes in the lid of the container.  Why are we doing that?  Well, we are going to put this big container in a fire and it is going to get hot.  When it does, it will start getting the cotton inside it hot as well.  When the cotton gets REALLY hot it will want to start burning, but there isn’t enough oxygen inside the container to allow it to burn, so it will smolder.  You can tell when it is smoldering because smoke will be coming out of the holes you made.  Even some of the smoke might catch on fire as it smokes.   This is fun to watch.  As it smokes and smokes you will begin to see the smoking slowing down.  Inside the container the cotton has almost exhausted itself of anything that could possibly burn, and is turning into charred cotton.  The fibers of the cotton cloth will still be visible when it cools down later, and it will be ready to accept a hot spark and hold it.  Let it sit in the fire for an hour or so.  Be VERY careful after that hour when you are taking the container out of the fire.  It will be VERY HOT!  Also, if you do not have tongs, welding gloves or anything that can get the container out of the fire without getting yourself burned  just leave it in there until the fire is out and things cool down to the touch.  It won’t hurt a thing.  It might even make the char better.

 

Tinder: This is dry material that is actually going to burst into flames when we need it to.  Tinder can be most anything that is very dry and fibrous.  Most mountain men will find tinder under the bark of a softwood tree such as a long dead quaking aspen.  Or under a heavy pine bow  or thick bush where the grasses and such are protected from the rain and snow.  Whatever you get for the tinder make sure you get enough to make a pretty good sized “nest” of it.  Something about the size of a softball or even larger will keep your hands from getting burnt when the flames begin to rise.

Let’s say you choose to get your tinder from the bark of a quaking aspen.  Peel some of the bark off and the material that was next to the actual tree trunk is very good for use as tinder.  Pull some of it off and rub it between your hands.

If you are using dried grass, pull up a sizable quantity and scrunch it into a ball and then pull it apart to form the nest.

Tinder from under the bark of a quakie

Flint: Flint is a rock that is quite hard as far as rock hardness goes.  Flint is found most everywhere in the United States and comes in a vast array of colors and such.  When you are out hiking or camping just start looking around on the ground for rocks that “look” like they might be harder than steel.  I really can’t explain what flint looks like, but once you find some, you will get better at knowing what sort of rock is harder than steel.  If you are having a hard time finding a flint rock big enough that you can use for making a fire, you can always go to a rendezvous in your area and purchase one.  Sometimes the guy selling flint rocks will just up and give you one.  Those are the best kind.  If you can’t seem to locate a rendezvous, go to a rock shop.  Almost every medium to large city has one of them.

Flint Rock Pieces and Metal Striker

Metal Striker (steel): This will probably be the hardest thing to find for your kit.  Almost any type of steel metal can be used as a striker.  A small wood file.  A flat piece of metal.  Broken part off from the underside of a car.  Most of the mountain men have strikers that look like a “U” shape.  Some are really fancy with twists and stuff, but all of them have at least one surface that is relatively smooth and flat.  A good striker is usually about ¼ inch wide and long enough for you to hold it with your four fingers.  You have to be able to hold the striker and be able to hit down (strike) on the edge of the flint rock without hitting your fingers or hand.  If you hit yourself, it will cut you and you don’t want that to happen.  You just might have to break down and go to a rendezvous to purchase one of these.  They are usually less than $5 for one and you can try several of them out before you buy it to make sure it fits your size hand (4 fingers).

A Carrying Bag: You can just put all  of the things you now have in your pocket and that would suffice as a carrying bag.  Or you could gather up an old pair of levis and cut one leg  off a bit, then sew up one of the open ends.  If you do that, make sure to leave some part of it long enough to be able to fold it over the open end as a flap.  Other items that make good bags are marble bags, pieces of leather scraps or even a small purse found at one of them second hand stores.  Once you have the bag you can put all the stuff you have for fire making in it.

Fire Starting Bag

OK.  We should have ourselves a flint rock, striker, char, tinder, a small metal container that is empty and a metal container with char in it.

Take some char out of the large container and put it in the smaller container.  When you go camping you probably won’t want to carry around the larger container, but you will want to have dry char with you.  That is where this little container comes in handy and it will fit inside your bag.

How do we use this to make a fire?

Well, first off, let’s begin with the end result in mind…a fire!  Make sure you can have a fire where you want one and that a fire won’t cause the forest to burn down, or your neighbors barn or house to burn.  Any living quarters of a home is NOT a safe place for a fire.  Make sure you  have a fireplace where you are going to build this fire, or are outside with a designated fire pit available and that there are no fire restrictions being enforced.  When you have this, gather up some smallish dry twigs and lay some in a cross grid fashion inside the fire pit.  Then build up the sides of the grid like arrangement so the twigs create what looks sort of like a loose wooden crate with no top.  Gather more twigs and place them along side, but outside,  the fire pit.

Next:

Take your tinder and make a nest out of it.  It should be cupped with plenty of tinder material all around the cup.  It will look very much like a robin’s nest when you have it made about perfect.

Now:

Take a piece (or several pieces) of char out of the container and hold it firmly under the flint rock with your fingers.  Pinch the flint rock between your fingers (which are holding the char) and your thumb, which will be on top of the flint rock.   Be sure to leave part of the char protruding out and away from the flint;  far enough out that when you create sparks they have a chance to fall onto the char.

Then:

Holding the striker with the four fingers and thumb of the other hand and clearly out of harms way (so you don’t hit the flint with your fingers), swiftly bring the striker down against the edge of the flint rock.  You should see sparks go flying.  These sparks are actually tiny shavings of metal being scraped away from your steel striker.  Look at the char and try to see if any of the sparks caused a glowing reddish/orange dot on the char.  If none exist, strike down again.  Keep doing this until one of the sparks actually does make a glowing spec on the char.

When a spark is caught:

With the char now containing at least one glowing spot, place the char inside the cup made in the tinder.  Pick up the entire nest of tinder and carefully squeeze in the sides of the nest around the char, but not so tight as to not be able to still see the char.    Bring the entire nest up close to your mouth and begin to carefully blow air into the char.  You will soon see smoke coming from the nest as the char cloth gets more and more of its mass glowing.  Keep this up until you see flames coming from the tinder nest.  (You probably have learned by this time, that you should be blowing into the nest while the breeze is at your back, carrying the smoke away from your face).  Now place (or toss) the nest into your stand of fire starting twigs.  Bingo!

Fire!

Build the fire up:

Carefully take the twigs you set outside the fire ring and place them gingerly over the top of the fire.  Be careful not to smother the fire with too many twigs at the same time.  Let the fire slowly build itself up until you have enough fire to start larger diameter sticks and eventually able to burn dry logs.

There you have it!  Enjoy your time in the outdoors!  Be safe!  And when you are done with your fire, make sure you douse it with water, stir it, douse it some more, stir again, and douse it until any and all hint of heat is completely gone AND then cover it with dirt  before you leave it.

Your flint and steel fire starting kit will work for you as long as you want it to and your materials don’t get wet.

Bears Butt

June 12, 2011

Written on June 13th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

 

Twernt that long back I recall that Sydnie decided I wusn’t catchin  enough plews an I might be wastin too much time in the wilds.  It wuz gittin mighty close ta time fer rondeevoo with Ashley an the boys an I wuz gonna hafta kitch as many as I cud.  So, one day she said, Bears Butt, I think I need to show you how to trap more plews.  I’m always up fer catchin more plews and so I agreed.

Next morn she dun woked  up  an met me by the horses.  I dun already had em loaded with the gear what we wuz gonna need fer that day of trappin including lots of traps an stakes.  I dun loaded up a bunch cuz I weren’t real sure how many it wuz gonna take fer her to show me how it wuz dun.

We saddled up and skeedaddled out o camp and headed down the trail to the deep waters.  I dun had sum traps already set out there an there aint no sence not settin more near the same place.  There wuz plenty sign of plews out there and she knowed it.  Perty soon we wuz checkin my already set traps an we wuz doin perty good at kitchin sum.   I told her I dun set these here traps all by myself with no help frum her an lookee at how many plews we dun ketched already.  She said Bears Butt, I kin see you dun ketched sum, but it’s the traps what didn’t kitch no plews that you need ta knowed how to set next time.  This is what I’m here to show you.

Whenst we wuz all dun chickin all the traps what I had dun set afor, she said, hey let’s go over there a piece, cuz I dun think there is sum deep water what has sum plews in.  I looked over where she wuz lookin, but I cudn’t  see no deep water, heck I cudn’t see no water atol.  Where does she git this that there wuz sum deep water over there?  Well we rode on over there and afor long there it wuz, deep water fer sure.  I never ever wooda gone over there.

We git offn the horses an I goes to pull down sum traps an she says we only gonna need two traps Bears Butt, cuz there is only but two er maybe three plews here in this here deep water.  Corse that gits me wonderin how does she knowed there is only two or three plews in all this here deep water.  Sos I asks her how she dun thinks such sillyness.  Theres gotta be a heap more than just three plews in all this here deep water.  Bears Butt, lookee here at this here sign right down here on this here rock.  That tells me there is one plew right here.  Now look or there by that bush right there.  See that sign right there.  Corse I cudn’t see no sign from this far back, so I goes closer an shore nuff, there wuz sign, right like she said.  An then she said, so that there tells me there is two plews in this here deep water.  I goes ta lookin fer more sign, an I find one what looks sorta old like, but it wuz by sum runnin stream water what wuz leadin into the deep water an I tell her, here is sum sign what needs a trap by.

She cummed over an looks at the sign I wuz pointin at an sayz, Bears Butt, no wonder you don’t kitch more plews, you dun waste yer time an traps trappin where there wuz a plew, but that plew dun gone on an wont be back til next year this time.  Go ahead an set yer trap there, I got my two ta set.  Now listen up Bears Butt, when I git dun settin these here traps I’m gonna show you zacktly how I dun it soes you kin repeated it in future trap settins.

Well she dun did set them traps whilst I set mine an she cummed over to where I just got dun an says, Bears Butt, ya got the jaw up too high on that there trap, even if a plew dun commed by there he wood see it an git outa there real fast like.  So I dun turned the springs sum an the trap jaw dun lowered till she was happy with that set.  Seppen course she insisted there weren’t no plews gonna cum by that there trap.  Then she said fer me ta go look at the sets she dun set.  I looked at the first one an said, you kint kitch no plews with the trap sittin like that.  It’s clear outa the water an there aint no plew gonna climb up on no trap an git kitched.  No way.  She said, look at it close like, cuz tomorrow when you chick it there will be a plew in it, an when you bring that plew back ta camp it is gonna be put in my kitch pile cuz I dun kitched it.  And then we goes to the other set an agin I tell her there aint no way a plew is gonna git itself kitched in that there trap.  The trap is completely under water an in way too deep fer a plew ta put a foot in AND it aint even near the sign what a plew dun put  clear over there.  Again she restated what tomorrow wuz gonna bring an the plew wood be put in her kitched pile.  I just smiled.  I knowed my trap would have a plew and her two would have nutin.

After the lesson we dun rode on back ta camp.  She dun told the whole camp what I wuz doin wrong in lots o trappin spots an that wuz why I wuzzn’t bringin in many plews.  I wuz readin the sign all wrong an settin traps where no plews wuz gonna be fer a whole year ta cum.

Next day I ride out an go ta chicken the traps.  The ones I dun set afor wuz kitchin sum plews just like the day afor an I felt perty good about that.  Then I amember what she dun said about the empty traps not kitchin no plews.  Well how cud I change my traps what wuzznt kitchin nuttin cuz I knowed her two sets wuzzn’t gonna kitch nuttin, so I aint gonna change my wayz a settin traps.

I goes over to the hidden deep water what she dun figgered wuz there yesterday, an check my trap.  Nuttin.  Then I go to her first trap an low an behold there is a plew right in that there trap fer sure.  How in tarnation cud that plew git in that there trap?  I goes to the other trap an bingo, there is another plew in that trap too.  Two traps, two plews in one night!  By golly, maybe I need ta change up sum of my traps what wuz empty.

I learned a good bit of lesson on that there day an she dun got her two plews put in her kitched pile.  Thanks for the lesson Sydnie!

Bears Butt

June 11, 2011

Written on June 12th, 2011 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

 

Before the area became a draw only limited entry buck hunt the Willow Creek Free trappers used to try and get into the Crawfords to hunt during the late muzzleloader deer season.  We had a few pretty good hunts in there.  I’m sure you have read the nose to tail story.  That was a hunt in the Crawfords.

Well, all good things tend to come to an end eventually and so it was with the Crawfords.  The fish and wildlife people from the states of Wyoming and Utah got together and decided we were shooting too many of Wyomings big bucks; bucks that were coming into this area as their wintering and breeding area.  So, Utah made it a limited entry draw area.

As luck would have it, Wapiti and I drew out on the unit the second year it was a draw unit.  We were really excited because it was to be held just after Thanksgiving and would run for a couple of weeks.  The snow was just starting to stick in the mountains and the Wind River Range in Wyoming had really been dumped on.  What that meant to the Crawfords was the snow would push the deer out and down into their winter range.  And that would be right where we were going to be.  Two of the happiest muzzleloader hunters in the whole world.

As the time approached to head for the mountain, Tracker was for sure going to be going with us.  He wanted to film the entire hunt and capture all the highlights as they occurred.  Next was Many Steps.  He was just a youngster and had decided not to go to high school any more and his mother insisted he go with us into the Crawfords.  It was just fine with us.  So the four of us planned our hunt and made arrangements for trailers, trucks and equipment.

That time of year you can expect almost anything as far as weather goes.  You can have an unseasonably warm spell, extreme cold, deep snow, rain or sunshine and typical late fall weather.  The Crawfords are located on the Wyoming and Utah border near the town of Randolph.  Randolph is historically “the coldest place in Utah”.  This particular year was just that!  During the hunt the temperature dropped to minus 20 degrees!

Have you ever stood outside in minus 20 degrees?  Your nostrils stick together on the inside of your nose.  And if that’s not enough, if you breathe through your mouth the moisture from your breath freezes to your face in a big circle around your mouth.  Your eyes are constantly tearing up and your nose freezes on the end!  And that is just what happens to humans.  In the animal world the domestic cattle, stuck out in an open meadow, hunch up, putting their feet close together, they turn their back side to the wind and hope the closeness of all their internal organs is enough insulation to keep the blood pumping through their heart, which is in the center of the hunch.

The whole world is COLD!  Nothing escapes the cold.  When I opened a can of beer, which was in the cooler in order to keep from freezing, it almost always immediately began to freeze and foam out the top.  I had to set the can between the fire and the rock fire ring in order to keep it from freezing solid between drinks.  Tracker was going to make him and Wapiti a whiskey type drink one evening.  We did not have any ice cubes.  So Tracker, being the ingenious one he is, put some water in an ice cube tray and sat it outside on a stump.  Went inside the camp trailer and poured whiskey into two glasses, went back out to the ice cube tray and cracked ice cubes for their drinks….the time lapse was only a couple of minutes….THAT’S  COLD!

Inside the trailer, we had some liquid Crisco brand vegetable oil for cooking.  One day I went to get it to cook with and it was as solid as a stone.  I looked at Tracker who was filming the event and holding the Crisco up in my left hand, I spoke in sort of a Mexican voice saying “Hey Crisco, how cold is it”?  Yep!  20 below is mighty cold.  So cold in fact that when the day time temperature rose up to zero degrees, we felt like taking our coats off.

So here we are on this great adventure in the Crawfords.  Ya, it was cold, ya there was a bit of snow on the ground, but there were buck deer in almost every direction you looked.  Some were very small, some not so small and some were gigantic!  We had our pick from the candy store for sure.  Actually, we did not know exactly how good it was for choosing a large buck from the area.  We were used to hunting during the regular muzzleloader deer season and if you had a chance to shoot a buck you took the chance, whether that buck was a spike or a big four point.   It did not matter, it was a legal buck and so you took the shot.  In the Crawfords we could pass up shooting the smaller bucks and go for the bigger ones.  If we saw them in an area one day, they would not be too far from there the next day.  Just like choosing candy from a candy store.

We got to know quite a few of the other hunters in the area as well.  They had only let about 30 hunters into the entire area to hunt, and where we camped was on the main road in and out of the Crawford mountains.  Everyone would stop each night and show us their deer or talk about what they saw that day.  It was just like a big family in the Crawfords and everyone was there for the same purpose and everyone was having the time of their lives.  That is the same way it is today.

On this hunt there was a very special thing that was going to happen and we didn’t know it at the time.  Many Steps had brought his snowboard.  So, what do you think he did when we were heading back toward camp?  Snowboarded as much as he could until the roadway didn’t have enough slope to let him slide.  We believe to this day that he was the first and the only one to ever snowboard in the Crawford Mountains!

We spent nine full days hunting In that wonderful place and I ended up with a fine 3 by 3 muley buck with a spread of 27 inches and height of 28 inches.  A very nice fully mature buck that had a harem of about 25 does.  Wapiti took a very nice 4X4 buck that was very symmetrical but it was a younger buck, maybe 4 years old.  What was the most awesome thing about it all though was the number of VERY BIG bucks we did see.  Wapiti shot at several that would have dwarfed the one I tagged.   But for whatever reason he couldn’t hit them or if he did it wasn’t in a vital spot.  To get buck fever is very easy to do in the Crawfords.

I have hunted the Crawfords on two separate occasions since the draw began and been with two other groups of hunters on two other occasions.  None of those hunts was a bad hunt and every one brought back some very fond memories.  Every hunt found the hunters filling their tags with some very nice bucks and every hunter had at least one good shot at a record book animal, whether they took the shot or not, the chance was there.

Good luck drawing the tag, that’s the single hardest thing to do about the Crawford Hunt!

Bears Butt

June 6, 2011

Written on June 10th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

FISHING, HUNTING, CAMPING, HIKING….ANYTHING THAT IS DONE OUT OF DOORS…..IT’S A WAY OF LIFE, ANY YOU JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT.

Written on June 9th, 2011 , Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

Heard this at rendezvous a couple of weeks ago.

I was going into the grocery story to pick up some beer and outside the door was these kids trying to give away some cute little puppies.  I told them I would have to think about it and would let them know when I came out.

Well, time I came out they only had one left.  So I said ok, and took it, box and all.

When I got home I see that this little dog doesn’t have any legs.  Born without them.  Oh, how sad.  But the little guy is just as happy as heck and rolls around to get where it needs to go.

I had to get rid of that dog.

Well, I was working on a stretch of fence out near the highway and I’m working as hard as I can, and the dog is just there watching.  I have him in the wheelbarrow and when he would whine I would move him up the fence line and then go back to fixing the fence.  All of a sudden this dog took into chasing cars.  I almost had a heart attack!  So, I got rid of the dog.

Written on June 8th, 2011 , Uncategorized

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