With deer hunting coming up very soon I thought it would be prudent to include a safety tip on being found if you become lost.  Aside from all of the other safety things you should always carry with you while hunting toss in a deck of cards.

A deck of cards?  You ask.  Yes!  A deck of cards.

As soon as you feel you are lost.  Stop all forward movement as soon as you come to a flat rock of some substantial size.  Sit down and begin playing a game of solitaire.  It won’t be very long and someone will be there telling you that you are doing it all wrong!

Saved!

Bears Butt

Sept. 2011

The perfect gift for someone who has their head so far up their butt that they can not see……..A Clear Glass Bellybutton insert……….That way they could see where they are going!  😉

Bears Butt

My wife went down to Smith and Edwards and bought two packs of Micro Fiber Cleaning Towels, put out by Pit Lane company.  She brought them home, opened up the package and left them on the counter.

Two days later she went back in to Smith and Edwards and complained to the person who sold her on them.  The lady asked her what the problem was.

She said, I opened up the package, laid them on the counter and there they sat for two days.  They didn’t do a thing!  Just laid there.

Bears Butt

Aug. 2011

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ….’

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.

She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.

He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they are finally together.”

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret……….

“Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”

Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel.  . Her legs.”

This drawing is Marla “Rut Runners” Zundels rendition of the Chosen Ones and created it as a target that was used at the 2010 Willow Creek Free Trappers rendezvous.  Great Job Marla!

Bears Butt

A women asks man who is traveling with six children,
“Are all these kids yours?”
The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory and these
are customer complaints”.