By: Bears Butt

If you wanted or planned on doing something special this year and have not done it yet, you only have 18 more days to do it in!  Just a reminder, and that is counting today.

I got to thinking today as I was stripping good old sweet breads away from the membrane that holds it all together, “Is Bears Butt a writer”?  That was a tough question for me to answer.

I deduced that I am NOT a writer.  Writers sit down with pen in hand or typewriter or keyboard under their fingers (whatever) and write stories that go from one scene to another and eventually the story comes together like a Hallmark movie.  I ramble.  And as I think about telling a story or whatever around the camp fire I lose a lot of people who think to themselves (they are very polite) what is the point of what he is getting at?  Would he hurry!

I feel that most of my stories have to begin with a background of what the actual point is before I can finish it, or else the recipient (you) won’t know why I am even bringing up the point in the first place.

So, I’m not a writer…I’m a story teller…there is a BIG difference.

The best stories I can tell are stories where someone asks me to tell them a story about….whatever.

It takes me about a thousandth of a second and then the story begins.  The hardest stories are the ones I have to think up myself.  Like this one.

Today Dry Dog stopped by with a piece of metal I so dearly need…thanks Dry Dog…..and in our casual conversation he mentioned the rendezvous at which I won (and win I did) a very nice Sword.  Boy did that bring up some memories.  Some of you will recall that rendezvous.

When I received that sword my first thought was “what in the He?? am I going to do with this piece of cr.p”?  And then my thought went to the folks who were in charge of awarding the prizes for these very hard shoots they were pulling off…Please..No offense if you were the one in charge of the rifle range that day.  I know it was not your fault.  And so I am winner of this fine sword.  One that is very sharp, well adorned with gold and silver inlay and coveted by everyone who likes this sort of thing.

That sword has transpired into one of the most beautiful things in my collection of beautiful things and stands (or rather lays) right next to “Something” (my wonderful  horse….opps….Sir Butts wonderful steed).  The story started with that sword, how could I NOT like it?

From the moment I acquired such a wonderful piece of workmanship, I questioned why it was at a mountain man rendezvous in the first place.  I pondered hard why it was there.  But just like miracles everywhere it just was… and so be it…it was divine that I should receive it and be blessed by its very nature.  It caused quite a stir in my being.

After all day long thinking about how I had received such a fine gift…I trotted (literally) from my camp down the road to the council fire and made myself at home rounding that fire over and over again telling the fine folks sitting there just how fine a gift it was.  At this time I can not remember what exactly I said, but I am sure it was in fine taste and I hope the gifter has been back and will continue to come back to that rendezvous in the future.

I recall running like a deer, loping merrily as I went from my camp to the council fire and back without missing a beat and of course avoiding the “big boys” that wanted so much to make me “NOT A PART” of the council fire agenda.

My mind flashes to the sight of them standing up, first on my left and then suddenly on my right as I traipsed around the fire ex-pulsing my good wishes upon the club for such a fine gift.   And then my feet decided the thugs were close enough that I should depart hastily toward the safety of my own camp.  Without missing a beat, I remember traversing the distance in a matter of less than two minutes (1/4 of a mile I might add).

That my friends is my story about the sword and how I came to adore it so much.  I would not part with that sword for any amount of cash or trade items….it’s mine forever!

As some of you know Sir Butt likes that sword and yields it to the camp yearly.  Protecting good from evil in the camp and always welcoming friends.

Someday, I would like to be able to tell a story that didn’t have at least “some bit” of it not a real part of my life.  Do I live a life of weirdness that lends itself to making up stories of half truths?  HALF TRUTHS?  Who thought up that?  It is ALL TRUE!  Check out Trackers video of the council fire that night…decide for yourself if Bears Butt was a happy guy or not….I say he was!


I’ll drink to that!

Bears Butt

Dec. 13, 2012


Written on December 12th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

The earth is not exactly round you know, it’s more of an oval but very close to round.  If you can imagine an old time spinning top only not so long and pointy at each end.  But out in space where the earth spins it really doesn’t need a pointy end on which to balance.

So, you have the picture of the earth in your mind.  It’s a great place to be and so let me explain what on earth is happening and why some countries are not quite right in the head and why others are.

Bears Butt has been around the world once.  A short stop in the Viet Nam area, a quick stop in Alaska, a hop skip and a jump in Scotland and a longer stop in Germany.  While all the rest of my time has been right here on American soil.  I have not been South, but from my recollection, the South half of the world is just a mirror image of the North half.  That’s enough for me.

So, here the big old world spins, round and round and it doesn’t appear to be going to stop anytime real soon.  And as it spins around on it’s not so pointed little Southern end, it also rotates around the sun.  One complete circle of the sun yields to us one full year of time.  One little spin on it’s not so pointed little Southern end and you have a full day gone by.

Have you ever seen a cream separator work?  I thought not and so let me explain.  First off, fresh milk, and I mean fresh milk, not what you find in the grocery store or at Winder Dairy, but your next door neighbors barn with the cow inside being milked.  That my friends is fresh milk.  Fresh milk contains fat, white fat, that over time and cooling of the milk will rise to the top of the container.  That is cream and it can be skimmed off if you are careful and put into another container.  Cream is rich and good, but it is thick too, at least thicker than milk, but you can do a whole lot with cream that you can’t with just the milk.  Like make butter.

Anyway, to quickly separate the cream from the fresh milk, someone made a cream separator machine and here is how it works.  You pour the fresh milk into this somewhat large metal bowl.  The bowl is attached to a large wheel that will cause the big bowl to spin when you crank the handle on the machine.  So the crank gets going slowly and as it builds up speed the bowl is spinning faster and faster.  Well, inside this here bowl the little fat creams are screaming and heading for the outside of the bowl and their little faces are pressed against the side of the outside of the bowl and then the pressure starts to force them up toward the top of the bowl, partly because of the shape of the big bowl.  Meanwhile the milk is contained inside the bowl and tends to stay there.  The cream guys are pretty soon concentrated all in a small space atop the milk and mostly near the outside edges where they fall into another bowl outside the big bowl.  As the speed of the big bowl is then slowed the cream guys are all safely outside the big bowl and nothing but the milk remains in the big bowl.

So, should our world be spun as fast as that cream separator we too would see first of  all the fat guys spun to the very outside of the world and eventually, given a fast enough speed, every one and everything not tied down would end up flying into outer space quicker than scat.

God on the other hand knew this up front and so he purposely slowed the spin of the earth down to the 24 hour day and 365 day year.  That is plenty fast for everyone to stay on the ground and not have to worry about flying off the surface and yet spinning enough to create a good wind flow to keep us cooled down some and keep the air moving around us.  God is good.

OK.  Let’s look at the world and its people.  Ever since the beginning there has been a need by a lot of folks to “be in control” and they got really big heads to think they were the ones in charge and everyone was working their little guts out to make them happy and all the time the big heads didn’t care about the little guys, they still picked on them and made them do more for less.  In all of time on this earth that has been happening around the world somewhere.  But now, let’s diagnose it even more.

If you could draw a couple of lines around the world as to where the trouble always seems to be coming from you would end up with one line on the North side of the middle and one on the South side of the middle and it would encompass the world completely.  Think about it for a minute.  Most of the worlds problem people come from this general area, the fat part of the world and not because it has any more land mass than the other parts of the world.  The land masses of the earth are pretty much evenly dispersed as I see it.  So what’s the point?

Well, do you see much problem with the folks that live say at the North Pole?  Or for that matter the other end of the world the South Pole?  Nope.  How about a little closer from those two poles toward the middle area…Australia?  Nope.  Greenland?  Nope.  How about right on a line in the middle of the world, the equator?  YUP.  Lot’s of trouble brewing along that line, always.  And as you progress North and South of that line you have a bunch of folks causing grief and destruction and problems for the rest of us.  But is it because they are ugly bad people or is it their environment?  Let’s look further.

I say it’s their environment and here is my assessment of that.  Way back in the beginning of the worlds time, God was much younger and he liked to mess around with stuff.  He started out with a world that was pretty much just a big ball of water.  When He got tired of messing with that, he introduced some land areas and the world was spinning at a pretty good clip, much faster than it does today, and these land masses started to move around in all that water and that was fun for God to watch as they separated and separated farther.  God was ok with all of that but he was curious as to what would happen if he tossed on some critters and so he did and those critters were pretty awesome dudes in their own rights.  Big teeth, claws, loud voices and some even ate meat, while others only ate vegetables.  Sort of like todays people.

God had a wonderful time watching those critters dash to and fro doing what they did best and then God thought, what if I put this world into the freezer?  And he did, and those critters started to scatter for warmer places, some found refuge in swamps and warm pools of water, only it wasn’t water it was oil and they got stuck.  Others tried to combat the cold by growing long hair and they ended up frozen solid anyway.  Others still, just laid down and died right there.  Not able to grow hair or find a warm spot and the moving of the earth masses covered them up.  Actually almost all of them got covered up with either dust or the moving of the earth.  God became disillusioned with that and took the earth out of the freezer and the ice that had formed melted away and gave us the earth we have today, pretty much.  Then He thought He might as well put some people on the earth and let them play and see what they do.  God likes to have fun.

But the earth needed to be slowed down from its spin and so He slowed it down and kept slowing it down until what you see today is where he stopped slowing it.  Well, it’s my thinking that those early people knew they could just fly off the face of the world because of the fast speed at which it was turning.  They could feel their feet trying to lift off the ground and so they were clinching the ground with their toes and fingers, trying to make sure they were not going to fly off.  That is why they walked bent over and could grip just as well with their toes as their fingers.  This created a mind set even if they did not consciously think about it and that mind set is carried through their genes to this very day.

Back at the cream separator, where is the majority of the pull or push or whatever, that had those fat little creams pushing hardest against the big bowl?  Right near the middle of the outside of it.  That is where the bulk of the spinning sent its energy and so with the world.

The folks right near the center from North to South, that is the fattest part of the world and also where the pressure of the spinning earth is the most susceptible for people to fly off and out into space.  This is where the bulk of the mind sets are that came from their ancestors millions of years back.  That mental fact that at any moment they could be spun off and out.  That would bother me, I know that, and so I’m very glad I was born where I was and that my ancestors didn’t  inherit   that mind set.

So, how does that mind set effect the climate of the area?  That’s easy.  God made everything living have an ability to feel.  Some things  like people can even logically rationalize things.  Plants are known to have feelings and react to different environments that are thrown their way.  Heck, look at the studies about flowers growing (or not) while head banging music is being played, and at the same time in another room where the same type of roses are being played country music.  It’s been proven that softer music makes the plants happier and grow so much better.  And animals too, why just look at the Happy Cows in California.

Well, with all the plants, trees, animals and people in this zone around the world all concerned about being thrown out into space, the minds of the people and whatever makes the plants and animals think and feel, causes all of them to sweat a bit more than those a bit farther North or South of that zone.  That evaporating sweat causes the humidity to be higher, coupled with the fact that the fattest part of the world is closer to the sun causes the area to be hotter.  Couple heat and high humidity together and vuela a whole different set of plants and animals live there than anywhere else in the rest of the world.  Pretty simple huh?   The trees grow with such deep roots, it’s for sure they want the best foot hold they can get so as not to be thrown off the earth’s surface.  The serious animals grow to enormous sizes and some have very big feet.  It’s all very plain to see, just look.  And as for the people.  The ones who are the most afraid of being thrown out into space are the ones who are causing the most problems.  The ones whose ancestors were first placed on this earth when it was spinning almost fast enough to toss them out unless they gripped solidly with their feet and their fingers and walk bent over.

And so, there you have it.  The zone around the world where the bulk of the worlds troubles start and end from the beginning of people time until today is caused by the fear of being thrown off the earth’s surface and out into space.

Bears Butt

Sept. 19, 2012


Written on September 19th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

Team 3!

At rendezvous this past weekend we had the pleasure to sign up to participate in what Muskrat has coined the “Mountain Man Lympics”.  $5 p/person sign up, 4 person teams to be chosen at random and then the teams had to make up their strategies.  All proceeds go to helping veterans in some fashion and of course a small portion goes to the winning team.

Going into the games, we knew we had to set a trap, start a fire using primitive methods, shoot a bow, throw a tomahawk and toss a frying pan for accuracy.

All methodical and strategic events.  What we didn’t know were the small details of each of the events and so comes our strategies.

Team 3 was made up of Tara and  Natalie (the two younguns), Reed and myself (the two old farts).  Tara was off doing something very important when Natalie, Reed and I finally got together to begin our strategies.

We decided that with the fire starting there would be the need to pop a kernel of popcorn out of a frying pan.  But, in order to pop that corn quickly, we would have to have a small type of pan.  Our minds worked quickly and came up with the bottom of a soda can as the pan of choice.

Never mind the fuzzy pictures, as some of the details have been withheld to protect our unpatented ideas.

Once the pan’s basic shape and depth was designed, a handle was fashioned out of good old mountain man expertise and will not be divulged in this write up.

More to the design was also crafted to give us the best of the best of advantages and again, will not be disclosed here.

We discussed all of the possibilities we could think of and came up with what we thought would be the best plan for acquiring a quickly built fire, fire intensity and popcorn popping capabilities.  You see the popcorn kernel has to clear the pan in order to count.  That means it has to come cleanly out of the pan to count.

The other skills were pretty much in the bag for this team as we all consider ourselves experts in the diverse mountain man/women world of survival.  We had a lot riding on our abilities both individually and as a team.

This is Team 3, you can clearly see my rear end on the far left, then Reeds rear end, Natalie and then Tara.  A team to be reckoned with.

When the call came for the beginning of the Lympics, we stood ready to whatever task the Lympic master threw our way.  We were called to the Lympic Archery range!

Skilled archers take their task very seriously and so we as Team 3 did also!  And the results are recorded in this professionally taken picture.  It clearly shows 3 out of 4 hits and if memory serves me correctly the fourth shot had a clear passthrough with out being recorded.

Next was the tomahawk throw.  Each member was afforded ONE chance to throw a tomahawk and stick it in a log.  The log had painted rings with which to score.  Closest to the center of the log scored higher than any other stick in the log.  When our turn was over, three hawks stuck clearly for all to see, with several very close to the center of the log.

(sorry no picture taken, as the professional following our team was still awestruck by our archery performance).

Soon after our display of hawk throwing abilities we were called  to the “Frying Pan Toss for Accuracy” venue.  Bears Butt chose to be last of the four and so the tosses were made.  All three of the “before Bears Butt” tosses landed and stuck in true Lympic style and the officials measuring the tosses had a very easy job of counting their fingers and toes to come up with the total.  However, they had to add up all their fingers and toes with my toss to come up with the grand total for the Team 3 tosses.  In true Lympic style Team 3 did an awesome job!

And now it’s on to the Lympic Pool for the next event!

Aside from the pool being so large and deep, there lurks in the depth of the black water, critters of unknown origin.  If you look very closely you can see just the top of the jaws of a number 3 double long spring trap.  The darkness of the water makes this a very dangerous event for the contestants.

With this event all four members of the team play an important part.  First off, time begins as soon as team member one jumps into the pool.  That contestant will then proceed to set the trap as quickly as they can, trying at all costs to keep fingers and other parts of the body from getting caught up in the jaws, springs or other assembly of the trap itself.  Once set the trap is then placed deep into the murky water of the pool and that contestant jumps out of the pool.  As soon as team member one’s feet hit the dirt outside the pool, team member two jumps into the murky water, trying to avoid the set trap with body parts.  They jamb a stick into the jaws setting the trap off and capturing the stick.  That contestant then jumps out of the water with the trap held quickly in the jaws, and hands the stick, trap and all to team member number 3.  That team member then runs the gauntlet and places the ring of the trap chain onto a waiting stake driven into the ground.  Team member number 4 is waiting to remove the trap ring from the stake, pick it all up and return to the depths of the murky pool water, into which they jump with trap and all and remove the stick from the jaws of the trap and then jump out of the pool.  Once team member number 4’s feet hit the ground outside the pool the team’s time is recorded.

WOW!  What an event!  Team 3 did all of this in less than one minute!  A time to beat in future held Lympics for sure and it will probably be this teams all time record for many Mountain Man Lympics to come.

Lastly, Team 3 had to go to the fire pit for the big event of starting a fire using primitive methods.  Be that method flint and steel, magnifying glass, bow and stick…however that team chooses.  Our team chose the magnifying glass method.

We had carefully gathered some of the finest fire making materials to be found anywhere near the rendezv0us site and made a nest of the most flammable of it all.  Our methodology can be found on and we followed that method almost exactly under survival pursuits.  The fire lite quickly, and burned hotter than any previous fire had burned at this Lympics.

With flames licking our eyebrows, the oil in our well designed pan began to boil almost immediately and the popcorn kernel popped out of the pan within less than 1 minute and 15 seconds (if memory serves me).

As the days events drew to an end, it was clearly a hands down call that Team 3 had won the entire Lympics events and was crowned victors for another year!

GO TEAM 3!!!!!!!

Thank you Lympics Master Muskrat for pulling off such a spectacular event.  Like none other in all of the rendezvous land it was something special to behold and we look forward to next years event!  Will the same members of Team 3 be pulled to become one again?  I doubt it!  But until then TEAM 3!  TEAM 3!  TEAM 3!!!!

Bears Butt

Sept. 5, 2012




Written on September 5th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

When you come onto this site you get the impression that all I do is sit here and type up dumb stuff.  Quite the contrary.  After all, how in the world could I work over my hunting trailer and be sitting here as well?  Of course my staff is constantly working and I am not always sure what they are up to.

We had a little gathering one evening over behind Windy’s house.  He had built a fire and invited the kids all over for smores.  I don’t like smores.  Sorry.  But I was sipping my favorite beverage while watching the process unfold.  The kids were happy with their marshmallow cheeks and chocolate mustaches and that is really all that matters.

Earlier in the day I had awaken with thoughts of a Native American chant in my head.  My thoughts were on the real thing and what were they saying when they do their drum chants and dance around.  Whenever I have heard some of the chants they are saying the same things and so even though it might sound like gibberish to me, it has meaning to them.  So, I too can make up a chant that has meaning.  And I did.

That evening around the smoking embers I shared it with my family and they all rolled their eyes when I was done.  The neighbor next door was quick to dash into his home, however, because he just knew the next thing would be a long spear coming in his direction (he said so the next day at church).

For you coming to rendezvous next week, I plan on sharing my chant with you around the fire.  You can decide then just how well I did at creating something spectacular, or normal, or dumb, or stupid, or not worth doing again.

Here is the opening line:


Come to rendezvous to hear the rest.  You have to admit it has a very interesting beginning and the ending is, well….you will like it even if you are just glad it’s over.

Bears Butt

August 21, 2012

Written on August 21st, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

I have a 1973 Prowler camp trailer that is 18 feet long.  Everything works and it is a wonderful thing to have on a hunting trip.  Heat, refer, stove, hot water and a toilet.  Well, I say hot water, I have to get a new control box in order for that to work, but it worked the last time I used it and connected the hot water tank up.

I decided to do a little renovation work this past month because when I opened up the bathroom door the back wall paneling was laying against the side of the toilet.  A problem I have seen coming for several years.  It used to leak and now the results of wet wood are showing up big time with dry rot causing the ceiling to “frog mouth” and the paneling coming off.

Keep one thing in mind throughout this story, I am a cheap guy.  If I can scrounge it I will and if it doesn’t cost any money that is even better.

So, beginning in the bathroom area I pulled down the ceiling and wall paneling.  I left the metal shower walls in place as well as the inside walls of the room.  They are holding up just fine.  I fixed the framing which was in incredibly good shape and repaired the ends that had come away from where they were supposed to be connected.  I used Gorilla Glue and that stuff is incredible.

Then I cut new sheet wood and screwed it to the now repaired framework.  Ceiling first, walls second.  Caulked it all with a 35 year paintable caulk and then painted it white.  Will this trailer last 35 more years?  I highly doubt it.  This picture shows a portion of the bathroom walls and ceiling repaired.

The sheet wood was some left over from a home repair job a couple of years ago.  Reluctantly I had to break down and buy some caulking at $2.35 /tube.

Bathroom Fixed


I also cut out the closet so it is one large open area.  Replaced the back wall and ceiling in that area as well, paneled and painted it, added a metal shelf and that area is ready for a test this hunting season.  The paneling was provided by a young lady just down the street who kindly gave me 3 full 4X8 sheets.  I chose to mount them without the finished side out so that the paint would stick to it.

Storage Area With Shelf

As for the shelf, it is a really good one sold in Home Depot stores, extra braced, lightweight and very stiff.  I was on my way home from town one day and low and behold it was sticking up out of someone’s garbage can on the side of the highway.  I quickly turned around and scrounged it up!  Free is a good thing!

Storage Area


4 Light Lightbar, nothing short of the best from my hunting friends.

The black lightbar you see there was picked up at the local Deseret Industries thrift store for $2.  Ya, I had to put in two AA batteries, but those little round lights can be directed to shine on where you want to see.

Finally the area at the other end of the trailer needed to have its Frog Mouth fixed.  That meant taking down the overhead bunk first.  That didn’t take long and with some more framing work fixed, up went new paneling and a fresh paint job.  I chose white paint throughout the fix as it will make the place brighter and seem bigger.  Besides, I had almost two gallons of bright white paint in the basement that would just get hard over time.

No rain will come in on me now!

For a few years I have noticed the on/off water faucet to the toilet was getting stiffer and stiffer to turn on and so I replaced it with a new one.  The place I went to did not have one of the newer 1/4 turn ball valves in the size I needed so I bought an old fashioned screw type valve (Ouch, $5.98).

So here is the deal, the pipe coming into the new valve is 3/8 inch, the water going out is 1/2 inch.  Actually the valve goes on backwards from how they normally do because that is how the previous owner chose to fix it once.  I just followed suit.  The half inch side has a reducer in it that reduces it back to 3/8 inch.  Then that pipe is fitted inside a rubber hose that is nearly 1/2 inch outside diameter and that eventually connects to the back of the toilet.

So, there you have the plumbing end.  When I turned on the valve (of course I have put water in the tank and the pump is on), the pipes would rattle and vibrate and make one heck of a noise!  Meanwhile water was spraying out the front of the toilet from under the seat!  WOW!  Floodsville!

I thought, “this is not good”!  And I figured because things had been sitting dry for over 7 years that perhaps the pipes etc. just needed to sit overnight with water in them to get it to work.  NOT!  This morning it still did the same thing.

Thinking back I could never recall ever having water come spraying out the front of the toilet.  It just sort of ran in and down the back of the bowl and would eventually fill to a level of desired depth.  The key word here is “eventually”!  So, without knowing it, I guessed the rubber hose was kinked enough to only allow so much water to flow through into the toilet and not come gushing forth like a jetted tub.

I had to test my theory, so I got my trusty little locking pliers and headed to the trailer.  Turned on the pump and clamped the pliers to the hose, hard enough to shut it completely off.  Then I turned on the valve.  Of course nothing happened because the water could not go anywhere.  Then slowly I released the pressure on the pliers and sure enough out came water without the banging and clanking of pipes.  When the pliers were completely released the pipes were howling and banging like a banchee.  But I had the problem figured out and now just needed to figure a good old country (redneck) solution.

To the garage for a large hose clamp and screwdriver and I was onto the solution quickly.  I pinched the hose back onto itself and put on the clamp, again tightening it until no water could come out.  Then I slowly turned the screw on the clamp until water flowed at a rate that seemed rather normal to me.  And there you have it.  No more banging of pipes and howling of water screaming into the toilet bowl.  My guests will thank me later for that.

And here is a picture of the fix.

Redneck Fix Job

The trailer is going to get a shake down come next week, as it’s rendezvous time and I have offered the use of it to my mountain man friends.  It will sleep up to 4 if one of them is small and can fit on the over head bunk.  I will call it “Bears Butts Lodge for Wayward Mountain Men”.  It will be better than sleeping in the back of the pickup or on the ground after too many bubbly drinks.

Bears Butt, “the solution man”

August 20, 2012


Written on August 20th, 2012 , Just more stories, Uncategorized
By: Bears Butt

Today’s story takes us back quite a number of years.  Sherry and I were on an outing in Wendover, just an overnight get away, but it sure has some memories with it.

Usually on the way out across the west desert it’s a rather boring drive, but on this occasion we could see coming from the opposite direction a rather interesting item.  A truck pulling a trailer and on the trailer was a very interesting pair of objects.  As we got closer, I grabbed the camera to take a shot of it.  Nobody is going to believe this one.

My take on it is the guy lost his butt at the gambling tables and was taking his winnings (losses) home with him.  Like they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemon aide.

The moon cycle must have been just right on that trip because that wasn’t the most interesting thing we saw that day.  And we actually got to talk with the owner of what you are about to see.  He said something about the police in Utah not liking his idea of a good mode of transportation and he was going back to California, where it’s ok to drive something that looks like this.  He seemed to be an “alright” sort of guy and he obviously meant well.  He must have had a few bucks in his pocket as well.  This unit was quite unique and probably got quite good gas mileage.  It sure is aerodynamically correct.

I’m not sure how it drove, but with one wheel up front it probably drove ok.  Especially where it has four wheels in the back.

We finished our trip without any more fun things to show off, and we came back with a few dollars in our pockets.  Not like this guy who seems to be up to his neck.

Bears Butt

June 9, 2012

Written on June 9th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

Quickly going through a bunch of old photographs last evening and came across a couple I thought would be good to share on this site.

Some of you know I had a lab dog once upon a time.  Good dog I must say.  Had a loud bark, but wouldn’t hurt a flea.  My son Windy took him to the field one day and took a picture of him frolicking in the hay.  This is what the shutter saw just before the dog slammed into the guy behind it.

A happy dog to say the least.

On another note, I have pretty much had a beard my whole life.  Well, take away the years I was too young to grow one, and another spec of life when I was in the Air Force where they won’t let you grow one, and a short time after that while attending college (gee whiz, it sounds like I have not had a beard long at all).  At any rate, while I was working, it was Christmas time and I told the staff, if they could gather $1,000 in donations for a good will Christmas package for a family in need, I would let them shave off my beard.

After a short period of time they had gathered $1,500!  And the day came for them to shave off my beard.  It was a very big event and even the entire Forest Service staff (those in the upper part of the building) came to watch.  Some of my very special friends wanted to do the honors of shaving my face and how they were chosen is beyond me.  They were sort of gentle, but not really and I looked like a shorn sheep when they were done.  It was all done in fun and the money collected went to a very needy family.

When I got home that night, my dog, the one above in the picture, knew he knew me, but couldn’t put his paw on it.  I smelled right, but just didn’t look right.  He felt bad for me, as he knew I must be hurting, or something.  It was quite comical to watch him “care” for me.

That weekend I went fishing up to Strawberry Reservoir.  It was cold and so I wore two coats.  I caught at least one fish as you will see.  But the real deal is this is me.

This is what a shaved Bears Butt looks like!

Today there would be a lot more lines from a whole lot more grins as big as that one, but pretty much the same look.

Bears Butt

June 8, 2012

Written on June 8th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

National End of the Middle Ages Day!

I’ve often heard about the Middle Ages but never really given it a whole lot of attention.  What does it mean?  When were the Middle Ages?  How did anyone ever figure there was a Middle Ages?  Yet alone, when it ended.

Sir Butt could probably lend us some valuable information because I think that is about when he was around slaying dragons and making safe the paths and roads of Common Ground.  How can I get in touch with him to ask about the Middle Ages?

Oh, Hey!  Here he comes now!

Sir Butt!  Sir Butt!  Can I ask you a question or two?  Good to see you!

Yes!  My good man!  What can I do for you?

Today is National End of the Middle Ages Day and I was just wondering about the Middle Ages in general and if you could shed some light on what it means when someone says “middle ages”.

Well, I’m glad you asked.  If you think about it “middle ages” are the times of your life when you aren’t young any more, but then you aren’t old either.  Aren’t those the Middle Ages?

I suppose you are right Sir Butt!  After all, you are the all knowing one.

Yes you are right!  I am.

In our history books we learned there was a time in the history of the world called the Middle Ages.  Can you tell us about that time period as it relates to mankind in general, in stead of being so specific about one persons age?

If you insist.  There was a time when kings ruled the world.  There were several of them scattered about and each had his block of the world that he ruled over.  In order to keep others from taking his lands, he had to have a slew of knights and servants and a staff of many thousands to keep things going.  The foods of the day had to be planted, cared for and harvested in order for the king to make sure all were fed and kept alive.  Of course the further down the pecking order  the less food you were provided.

As time went on, however, people began to educate themselves and with knowledge came inventions to make life easier.  So eventually, the need for lots of farm workers (serfs) changed because of the way the land was being tilled and harvested.  The kings could then have more food for themselves and did not have to supply the laborers because he didn’t need them.

So where did they go?  They went into the villages and picked up good paying jobs and provided services and goods for others who were gaining freedoms they had never had before.  The kings were beside themselves at first, but then got used to the idea that people should be able to come and go as they wish.  Besides, the kings were smart enough to realize that with trading and travel came funding for them to tax.

Well, once the taxing came into play, that pretty much ended the Middle Ages as they knew it at the time.  Besides, everyone began to think for themselves and created towns and villages and chose their own leaders of them and then came churches outside the way the king thought.  Chaos was what the kings all thought.  They had to give up their knights and their other servants because someone invented what is known as the long bow and the knights riding along on their steeds could not battle against a line of men with long bows and arrows flying in all directions, mostly at them.

You can imagine the troubles of the day.  Poor kings anyway.  But eventually the people took rule and so the true end of the Middle Ages and the beginning of what we see today.  Still chaotic, but better than being a slave on the farm, working for “the man” in the castle.

Sir Butt, you are a wealth of knowledge!  Thank you for the insight!

Right on my fellow man!  You owe me!  I’m off now to do what you interrupted me doing.

Well folks!  There you have it!  Right from the Butt, Sir Butt that is!  Enjoy your day!

Bears Butt

May 29, 2012

Written on May 29th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

Got back frum the mountains bout two hours ago.  Been ta rondeevoo ya know an it wuz a heap o fun!  Just like always.  This time we dun had sum rain ta deal with, but heck, that just kept us closer.  It were cold too, but then, just kept us closer yet.

We had sum spectacklar shootin, I must say.  Old Edjukateer, he wuz the one what wuz hard ta beat.  He cud thread that there ball round corners I swear, an hit what wuz spost ta be hit.  I think when they wuz through handin out prizes, he dun had hisself a pack mule full.

An fer a real gud time, we dun went on a venture wherest four of us teamed up and went ta deliver up a message ta the fort Cache Valley.  We dun reel gud on that one an had ourselves a great heap of fun doin it.

My captain was Hot Spark an the other team members wuz, Weasel, Trap Dancer an me.  I’m here ta tell ya, Hot Spark is one heck of a captain.  She dun guided us through the most miserable of savage attacks and we dun cummed out the winners.  Well, we dun cummed out winners, but not the winners what won any prizes.  We wuz behind the winners bout …this much….!  Which wuz way close.  Later we dun found out we dun sum real gud stuff an we dun sum not so real gud stuff but we did perty gud.

Onest we made it ta Fort Cache Valley, we had a heap of savages cummin down on the fort ta make trouble sure.  They had one friendly with them, but in our hast ta take out the problem ones, he dun caught some ball shavins an he didn’t make it out with his hair.  But, I’m here ta tell ya, the rest of them savages will think twice next time.  Corse there won’t be no next time fer them.

In one of the skirmishes I looked up an saw this one savage an he wuz lookin right at me an my hawk cummed out and smashed him real bad.  Fact wuz, I dun smacked a whole heap of savages whut dun had holt of a perty white woman in her cabin.  I dun took real gud care of them all with my hawk.

Whilst I wuz taken care of the savages, Hot Spark wuz callin out orders ta the rest ta git fer safe doins.

We caught us sum real fine plews to an we cached them next ta the river real gud, sos next time we go that way, we kin pick em up an take em ta rondeevoo.

Bears Butt

May 28, 2012

Written on May 28th, 2012 , Just more stories
By: Bears Butt

Wall I’ll be danged.  It be a fine time fer rondeevoo.  Kint hardly wait til I git the team an the wagon on up ta the meetin spot.  Left fork o the Blacksmith is where they is meetin this year an I got a lot o fur ta trade.  Ha!  I even got a story ta tell, kin you imagine me wid a story?

Rain an snow ain’t gonna make no never mind neather, cuz it be rondeevoo time an that only comes onest in a while.  Gittin ta see sum folks what I aint seed in a whole heap of a year.  Got sum drinkin ta do as well an them folks is gonna see me shinin fer sur.

We dun had some what didn’t make it since last time, but then none of us is promised even so much as tomorrow.  So, we will be biddin them so long until we git ta that rondeevoo where they be.

As fer me, well, I’ll be gone fer many days, so don’t fergit ta check inta this here spot long bout maybe mondee er tuesdee.

The wagon is pullin out!

Bears Butt

May 25, 2012

Written on May 25th, 2012 , Just more stories | Stories, Ramblings & Random Stuff From an Old Mountain Man is proudly powered by WordPress and the Theme Adventure by Eric Schwarz
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Just some of my old stories, new stories, and in general what is going on in my life.