By: Bears Butt

BearsButtDotComBearHandsUpWith tomorrow being the day we head for the hills, I thought I had best take a few minutes and drop a bit of advise to the ladies who are staying back at home and taking care of all the stuff the “old man” has neglected for the past several weeks.

This is mostly for the “new ladies” out there who may or may not be accustomed to the actions of late from their significant other.  Muzz deer season, and I’m sure ALL hunting and fishing seasons, have traditionally been accomplished by the man of the house for centuries.  Ever since the cave man was poking around in the bushes.  He would find a creature that was good to eat and smash its head in and bring it home for the wife and kids to cook and eat.  Nothing has changed forever in that regard.

And so it is today, but not limited to just the man of the house.  The lady of the house is also a big player if she chooses to be and all the ladies that are in our camp, whether hunters or just their because, are treated with respect and hopefully don’t hear a lot of what men do when their aren’t any ladies around.  But, that all depends on the guys and their attitudes.  Our camp is a pretty civil one even though it is the largest on the entire mountain and the largest in the 30 unit setup in this great state of Utah!

As for the expense of this ordeal.  Ladies, I’m sorry, but it takes quite a bit of stuff to put a good old venison steak on the plate in front of you and that stuff is not cheap.  There really isn’t much better tasting than a good venison steak, hash browns and a couple of over medium eggs to wake you up on any given morning, and just like going to your favorite big time restaurant, it costs a bit of money for it!  It’s all a part of hunting.

Sure, when you tally up the costs of the license, gas, beer, booze, camping food, extra stuff needed for the daily hunts and extend that over the 9 days of the hunting season, there is a LOT of money being spread around the area.  It’s good for the local economy to spread this money around.  Why just let the bank hang onto it?  Give it out!  Let others enjoy their hunt too.  You have to believe that that lady behind the counter at the convenience store/gas station has an old man out hunting somewhere!  She is there doing her best to make sure the bills get paid while her main squeeze is trying his best to bring home some venison.

As for what you can do while your old man is away.  Some ladies take to the bars and casinos and really whoop it up while he is gone and some of them get into some trouble…while I think it’s a very good idea for the ladies to get together and party it up…it’s a dangerous world out there and things can get out of hand so to speak.  I’d caution you on doing this.

BUT, you deserve a break as well and rightfully so.  Maybe a night with the bridge club ladies or some other kind of card party.  Maybe a movie with some of your besties!  Just some thoughts.

After he gets back and hopefully he is one of the 23% that actually gets to use his tag on an animal, he will ask you to help him cut and wrap it, you know, to save money!  After all, to take it to a butcher shop is sort of a hassle and you never know if you are getting “your” deer meat back or if you even are getting “all” of your deer meat back.  Ever go into a wild game butcher shop and buy some deer jerky?  Where did that deer jerky come from?  Road kill?  Besides they charge like $65 to cut one up…you can do it yourself and save all that money!!!!!

Well, you won’t save ALL that money, because you will need to buy some freezer paper and freezer tape and so there will go about $15, you are still saving $40!  That is almost 6, 12 packs of Olympia where I come from and that is a lot!  You have to save where you can and this is an important thing to do to save money!  And just think there are the other 77% of the other hunters who wish they had your problem.  Help the old man out!  It will be good for the both of you.  You can listen to all the stories he has from the hunt and get that nasty job of cutting up the deer done at the same time. (insert smiley face here)

You know, it wasn’t too long ago, when the man went out hunting and brought the animal back strapped over the back of his horse, it was then left to the lady to skin it, cut and dry the meat and make some clothing out of the hide.  Since then men have come a LONG WAY in making sure the little lady doesn’t have to do all of that.  The least you could do is step in and help with the cutting and wrapping.  Nuff said.

A man’s sanity is carved in the hunting season.  He was born with the instinct to provide his family with “free meat”!  It has always been this way and it won’t be changing anytime soon.  I really like a good piece of venison, some jerky and since I’ve tried venison bacon, I like that too.  And there is only one way to get it…well…there are a few ways to get it, but to go hunting is a must and if I’m not one of the 23%, I’ll explorer one of the other ways after the hunt is over.

Now ladies, I have not mentioned the fact that YOUR MAN is sacrificing waking up with your sweet breath whispering into his ear in order to provide your house with some of this free meat.  He is out there braving the cold and bitter environment!  Every day risking his life against the wild beasts of the forest.  Getting soaking wet in the rain and freezing his butt off in the bush waiting for that deer to come sauntering past!  What a guy he is!!!  Remember to give him a big kiss when he gets home in a week or two.  Offer up your help to clean up the camp trailer and wash his smelly clothes and give him time to take a long hot bath to loosen up his sore muscles and give him some time to just think.  After all he has been thinking like a deer for the past many days and he has to get his head wrapped around being home and having to tend to his job(s) and not think about next years deer hunt, which by the way is about 365 days away.  He will be a total wreck by the time next season comes around.  Give him some “down time”.  That’s good advise coming from me.

So, there you have it.  Never mind that the cost of this hunt could have been put into buying an already cut and wrapped 1300 pound beef animal.  That is NOT what this is all about….it’s about getting a freezer full (or partially full) of FREE MEAT!!!!  AND maybe even a dead head hanging on the wall!!!  Oh Yes!  Only about 3% of the 23% get animals with antlers big enough to consider doing that!  Pray daily while he is hunting that he comes home one of the 3%!  Dead heads are pretty cool hanging around the walls of the home, and don’t listen to your lady friends when they say a big old tough buck with giant horns is not worth eating…that is absolutely NOT true!  Don’t you have to find that out for yourself?  I never trust someone who knows nothing about such as that, and neither should you.  Pray daily for your hunter man to bag the biggest and baddest buck on the whole mountain!  He will have a better mental state while away, knowing that you are doing that for him at home.  Trust me!  Besides he will know you are at home and not at the casino with those other women!

Bears Butt

Sept. 23, 2013




Written on September 23rd, 2013 , Hunting/Fishing/Trapping Stories

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Just some of my old stories, new stories, and in general what is going on in my life.